Thursday, October 25, 2007

No Wonder We Can't Find bin Laden!

Nobody Flashes: Today, President George W. Bush, went to view the damage done by the fires in California, using the same binoculars that he uses when he is trying to find bin Laden.

"Hey, I think I see him!"

Some of us will miss that famous sense of humor of his.

Nobody's Perfect: Rudy Giuliani, who has always claimed to be a die-hard Yankee fan, is getting a lot of heat for coming out in support of the Boston Red-Sox to win in the World Series today. This statement has not gone over well in New York.

It was also reported that at one time, all the Mafia heads got together and tried to plan an assassination on Rudy, but it was stopped by one man. Whether this man was a Yankee fan, the FBI did not report---but Rudy did not forget to wear blue stripes as he made his annoucement
just in case.

Nobody Knows: If you are a lonely lady looking for a man, you need go no further than your local TravelLodge. The incidences of naked men walking around the hotels at night have significantly risen. (over 400 last year) Why this is happening, no one knows. They are saying it's probably due the stress of not being able to tap their feet in stalls anymore.

Nobody Cares: Even though only one in five women out of the whole US each year finishes the training to become an astronaut, and they comprise only 20% of the astronaut corps, for the first time in US history, there is a woman astronaut commanding the space shuttle, and a woman commanding the International Space station.

Hillary Clinton said she always wanted to be an astronaut. Bill Clinton pulled strings to get John Glenn up, even though he was too old to officially go...so I'm sure Hillary used her clout as "most powerful woman in the United States next to Oprah" to manage this stunt, in order to promote the idea of "First woman President."

Frankly, I think we should grant her this wish, and none too soon, before it's too late. Let's put her on the next shuttle so she can be the first woman to Mars.

Nobody Wins; According to a recent survey, Americans are not getting enough sleep because we are all sitting up late at night worrying about our money and mortgage problems. That's why, on the same day, Charles Rangel (D-NY) has come out and suggested to raise taxes on the rich, so Americans can sleep again.

Nice to know the medical community and the Federal Government are getting their "messages" coordinated, isn't it?

Nobody's Fool: "I like to know what I'm doing" ---Mae West said, explaining the mirror over her bed.

It might have worked for her, but it would probably scare me to death. Give me those binoculars.

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