Evacuating Nobody Opinions of Fire

Nobody’s Opinion: Did you ever wake up on the right side of the bed, only to wish for the good old days when you woke up on the wrong side?

The headlines today said, “Biggest Evacuation in American History”. Over one million people, grabbing their horses, doggies, kids, spouses, pictures, and pup tents, are scrambling out of the way of the biggest fire ever set in southern California.

If you listen to the news, it’s not all that bad---really. Katrina was much worse.

Arnold Schwarzenegger the governor of California, and his wife Maria Shriver, did their best to ease the pain by asking for the thing all the politicians ask for after every disaster---send money.

Well, we all know what happened in Katrina when we sent money. It went somewhere. It was last seen heading for South America, via New Orleans.

Maybe it’s in representative Jefferson’s (D) fridge.

Charles E. Allen, the Chief of Intelligence at Homeland Security, warned us again today against an attack from bin-Laden and his boys, while at the same time it is reported that over 800 National Guards were taken off the border and sent to help fire victims.

Right. Smart. Start a fire, create a diversion, and get those nukes across without any trouble.

And if anyone dare suggest that pretty obvious scenario, you will be called a conspiracy nutcase, while Harry Reid, (D) today suggested that global warming is responsible for the fires.

No one called him a conspiracy nut.

What does he do again? Someone remind me. Guess he didn’t know that bin Laden is an Oxford educated engineer.

Not too long ago, everyone would be talking about what caused these fires, and who started them. Since it seems obvious to most everyone, that you can fool one person into believing that they were started by lighting, two people---that maybe a squirrel tripped over an electrical outlet after being kicked out of Goldie Hawn’s house, three or four people---that the Santa Ana Winds are being created by George Bush with a huge fan blower out in the ocean---but you can’t fool all of the people of California...not this time.

I imagine this time an awful lot of “environmental” guru’s who have lost their homes and their Porsches will maybe get some guts and say, “To hell with the extinct rats.”

Still---no one is asking the most important question of all…is this a terrorist act? Is this arson? Did you get those criminals on your cameras? We are into the third day.

San Diego had a “normal” fire in 2003, someone said. What they don’t say is that fires of this magnitude were never “normal” before. They stated happening during Bill Clinton’s Presidency.

That’s when the earth titled.

The last year Clinton was in office, half of the United States was up in flames. Remember the terrible fires at Los Alamos? Did anyone see Sandy Berger walking around with stuffed underwear? They didn’t make a big deal out of it then, either.

And when Katrina hit, there was a record thirteen hurricanes that year, as if someone was driving hurricane golf balls and just trying to get it in the hole. How strange—to hear reported this week that the technology to actually “guide’ hurricanes is now developed.

Jamie Lee Curtis, surprisingly, spoke for side of reason. If you keep putting millions of people on land that is just a tinder box in the first place, you are not only going to end up with a lot of charred houses, sooner or later the Colorado River is going to have to be refilled with water.

Soon the chant will be, “We have a right to work and drink!”

Illegal aliens are going to be drinking water that isn’t even there yet. What---they do that now?

Well, there is a new device that turns urine into drinking water. The Mexicans can just line up on the river bed and pee.

The rivers in Mexico are all peed out.

Maybe it wasn’t a terrorist that started the fires---maybe it was just a poor Mexican forgetting to pee on his fire, after cooking breakfast.

Meantime, China is going to the moon, Congress is trying to pass another amnesty bill, and they are still trying to pass the Sea Treaty.

Hey, I think I’ll go back to bed, and get up on the wrong side tomorrow.

Nobody’s Perfect: Fox news sent Geraldo to the scene.

Nobody Knows: When the fires will become boring news, and we go back to Brittany.

Nobody Cares: The cost of this whole thing will go, as always, on the rest of us nobodies watching. Soon we will have Hillary Care fire insurance.

Also, why am I the only one upset about the cooked birds, squirrels and bunnies? I guess you have to be a polar bear to get noticed.