The Stretch Marks of Atlas

Here's the good news; the earth, like all of the baby boomers, is expanding...It even has stretch marks. (also like most of the baby boomer women) And the moon is growing. So is Mars, and Jupiter, and just about every moon and planet in the known universe.

The bad news: There are an awful lot of scientists and teachers getting paid WAY too much money for thinking that the Grand Canyon was carved out of water. Which makes you wonder if you have to clean out of the rest of your brain for whatever you learned about Teutonic plates from school, while wondering just what else they taught you that was wrong. This is a theory by Neil Adams who proves it with mock examples. Go see for yourself at

www.continuitystudios.com.

Neil Adams gets my 'Nobody Is Smarter Than the Average Scientist' award for March.
Neil Adams will be a great somebody in all schools someday, I certainly hope.

This means that today, after that twentieth pitcher of beer (St. Patrick'sDay), if your pants split while you are making a fool of yourself dancing on the bar, you don't have to be embarrassed, knowing that the Pacific Ocean was formed in the same way.

Frankly, I wonder what Al Gore is going to do with this information which brings us to:

Nobody Cares; President Bush is having smallpox drills at the White House. Nobody cares about this because it was a known fact that after the Clintons left the whole place was fumigated. It seems ever since Tommy Thompson said he was going to have an ID chip placed in his arm (so far we are waiting for that) this whole Chicken Little has the bird flu deal is starting to get old. I wish they would make up their mind...What's it's gonna be---Smallpox? Anthrax? Bird Flu? Cluster bombs? Biological (Hey we found them!) weapons? Nuclear annihilation of Idaho? Mumps? Measles? Or the new Watch Out You Might Get Hit By a Hurricane Epidemic?

Is that why they are trying to pass laws on weather control? They are going to just blow these germs away? Chem trails anyone?

No, it's as obvious to this nobody as it was to Neil Adams that the earth was once small, that the big guys at the top want you to go get a shot, and they will go to any Chicken Little attempt to get you running to your doctor
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What's in these shots is anyone's guess. I set off enough bleepers going out of stores, thank you very much. Just think, real thieves will have a great line when the beeper goes off while they are holding that IPOD under their coat: "Oh, it's OK...I got a shot today, that explains it."

I wish they'd make up their minds. I think President Bush should be more worried about his own party surrounding the White House for a impromptu Texas barbecue. After all, George Washington survived smallpox. Maybe a good dose of it would help his speech patterns.

Nobody's Perfect: The poor French government can't get a break. Thousands of young students are rioting in the streets of Paris because...soon their socialist utopia is coming to an end. They will have to face the nerve wracking trial, as all our American teachers do, of trying NOT to get fired in the first two years in their jobs. ( NO...no socialism here.)This is really cruel.

If I were a young person today in France I would pray that this expanding of the earth would split France in two, and then the old people could all go live on the West side of France along with all Muslims. Remember, at one time Abraham Lincoln suggested that the slaves be given their own state. It took him a while to come up with a solution. Maybe the bastille needs repair.
(Do NOT take this seriously...)

Nobody Knows; A new survey shows that conservatives are producing and multiplying faster than liberals. (who get abortions) This news was so alarming to them that they immediately put on HBO a program on Polygamy to get those liberals going. After all, heaven forbid that the gene pool of conservatism take over the earth. And even though polygamy is outlawed most everywhere, that never stopped a liberal before.

On a lighter note, Bill Paxman who will star in this propaganda for the liberals, used to work, like Harrison Ford, as a carpenter on the sets of great movies. My source was a set directorwho use to work with him. Anyway, my source tells me he was always complaining about everything, he hated working so hard. So he asked the director if he could get in the films.

That's how stars are born. With a lot of hot expanding gas.

(Hey, I loved the guy in Twister!)

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Since this nobody is not fond of stretch marks, there is one big ugly one happening in Arkansas right now---which I suggest we might want to fill in with the water from the Grand Canyon.

Next door to Bill Clinton's library are two international organizations, Heifer International and Winrock International; places where great birthing pains are being fought out.

You can be sure this is one place on the earth, that global warming will not hit.

And I'm sure nobody cares if I go eat some green popcorn and work on my stretchmarks.

Gaia is calling.