The BIG American Legacy
Nobody’s Opinion: President George W. Bush has made it very plain that the best way to defeat our enemies is to spread democracy around the world, right?
Well…it seems we are succeeding. Countries all over the world have cozened up to one of America’s strongest and popular culture proclivities…that great democratic mantra passed on to us from one of America’s most popular American folk hero’s---Paul Bunyan.
Yes, it was Paul Bunyan who carried a big log and had a bull as a pet who said: “The bigger the better.”
And past Presidents liked this idea so much they decided to help the guy out.
The Roosevelts' loved the concept of “big.” They had big sticks, and big power, and big mouths to go along with them.
The concept of the big American Presidency thereafter grew in extraordinary leaps and bounds, along with big fast-food chains, big airplanes, and big SUV’s with room for the American family’s two big dogs.
“Everything is bigger in Texas!” is still a proud American exclamation---and if said with a sly mischievous smile and testosterone resonance, can be used to rope most true American women into doing housework.
It was one of the reasons George W. Bush got elected. We thought he was a true Texan.
Of course, we all knew that was just fun bluster---nothing was ever bigger in Texas but the collection of cow manure. But hey…it was American! Dream big! And do it bigger!
Most importantly---brag about it.
But, if semblances of global democracy make our leaders happy, they can now take heart.
That big American message is spreading with great proficiency around the globe. Dubai not only has the tallest building in the world, the plans to build the biggest sports complex ever dreamed of is now taking shape as seen by these plans. The Dubai “games” will rival the old coliseums of Rome.
No doubt beheadings will be much more entertaining.
And farther North, plans are being made to build the biggest Mosque right smack in the middle of London Town. A Mosque that will be so big that it’s golden dome will probably give those million of Muslims worshipping in Mecca, something to look at while they are running around their big rock.
And speaking of London Town, remember that big Ferris wheel we all watched being lit up on the eve of December 31, 1999?
Well, China is going to top that one boys and girls. It is now building the biggest Ferris wheel in the world so that everyone spending time at the upcoming Olympic events can say they got to the top of the biggest Ferris wheel on earth. They will be so far above the clouds they will be able to see China’s new giant satellites.
The biggest planes in the world built by France will be raking in the big bucks to fly everyone over there.
Isn’t it grand? Well, maybe I’d feel like celebrating if America would get back in the game she was so good at.
Now, the biggest thing we make is our debt.
We are now being told that bigger is not better, unless it’s government or taxes.
These being the exceptions.
While the rest of the world comes into “democracy,” we are now regressing back into “little” is better; little cars, little houses, less toilet paper, smaller buildings, (skyscrapers a thing of the past) and the propagation of little minds.
Our leaders are telling us that now, big is bad…little is better. We must not only downsize our workforce, we must downsize our food consumption, energy consumption, speech patterns, guns, land, and most of all…our say in just about anything.
Our liberal leaders, along with our President, continue to make us all feel bad.
We are so bad, even our footprints are too big.
Once building the biggest bomb in the world was a proud American moment. The past administration wanted to spread that ‘moment’ along and now China in the American spirit of building the bigger bomb, has done so.
China’s military is now the biggest on Earth.
So, it seems to me only logical, that while we are regressing, and the rest of the world is progressing, we should take a tip from the old China…and build the biggest bomb shelters on earth.
If we can’t go up, we might as well go down.
The new American legacy---which future generations will attribute to a girl named Monica Lewinsky…and maybe the next President.
Well…it seems we are succeeding. Countries all over the world have cozened up to one of America’s strongest and popular culture proclivities…that great democratic mantra passed on to us from one of America’s most popular American folk hero’s---Paul Bunyan.
Yes, it was Paul Bunyan who carried a big log and had a bull as a pet who said: “The bigger the better.”
And past Presidents liked this idea so much they decided to help the guy out.
The Roosevelts' loved the concept of “big.” They had big sticks, and big power, and big mouths to go along with them.
The concept of the big American Presidency thereafter grew in extraordinary leaps and bounds, along with big fast-food chains, big airplanes, and big SUV’s with room for the American family’s two big dogs.
“Everything is bigger in Texas!” is still a proud American exclamation---and if said with a sly mischievous smile and testosterone resonance, can be used to rope most true American women into doing housework.
It was one of the reasons George W. Bush got elected. We thought he was a true Texan.
Of course, we all knew that was just fun bluster---nothing was ever bigger in Texas but the collection of cow manure. But hey…it was American! Dream big! And do it bigger!
Most importantly---brag about it.
But, if semblances of global democracy make our leaders happy, they can now take heart.
That big American message is spreading with great proficiency around the globe. Dubai not only has the tallest building in the world, the plans to build the biggest sports complex ever dreamed of is now taking shape as seen by these plans. The Dubai “games” will rival the old coliseums of Rome.
No doubt beheadings will be much more entertaining.
And farther North, plans are being made to build the biggest Mosque right smack in the middle of London Town. A Mosque that will be so big that it’s golden dome will probably give those million of Muslims worshipping in Mecca, something to look at while they are running around their big rock.
And speaking of London Town, remember that big Ferris wheel we all watched being lit up on the eve of December 31, 1999?
Well, China is going to top that one boys and girls. It is now building the biggest Ferris wheel in the world so that everyone spending time at the upcoming Olympic events can say they got to the top of the biggest Ferris wheel on earth. They will be so far above the clouds they will be able to see China’s new giant satellites.
The biggest planes in the world built by France will be raking in the big bucks to fly everyone over there.
Isn’t it grand? Well, maybe I’d feel like celebrating if America would get back in the game she was so good at.
Now, the biggest thing we make is our debt.
We are now being told that bigger is not better, unless it’s government or taxes.
These being the exceptions.
While the rest of the world comes into “democracy,” we are now regressing back into “little” is better; little cars, little houses, less toilet paper, smaller buildings, (skyscrapers a thing of the past) and the propagation of little minds.
Our leaders are telling us that now, big is bad…little is better. We must not only downsize our workforce, we must downsize our food consumption, energy consumption, speech patterns, guns, land, and most of all…our say in just about anything.
Our liberal leaders, along with our President, continue to make us all feel bad.
We are so bad, even our footprints are too big.
Once building the biggest bomb in the world was a proud American moment. The past administration wanted to spread that ‘moment’ along and now China in the American spirit of building the bigger bomb, has done so.
China’s military is now the biggest on Earth.
So, it seems to me only logical, that while we are regressing, and the rest of the world is progressing, we should take a tip from the old China…and build the biggest bomb shelters on earth.
If we can’t go up, we might as well go down.
The new American legacy---which future generations will attribute to a girl named Monica Lewinsky…and maybe the next President.
Anyone for a big aspirin?
Labels: Humor
posted by Joyanna Adams at 12:30 PM
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