Nobody's Absurdities, No. 22..Are You Feeling Lucky?

Nobody’s Opinion; In this depressing time, when John McCain came out and said that he was going to maybe commit suicide if the Democrats take over the Senate: When Dick Morris says all his “polls” show that the Democrats will take over both houses and single moms will make Hillary President in 2008; When Kim Jong Il says he will keep testing Nukes until he finally gets it right…

When Bill Clinton comes out and tells everyone we should look on politics as a “Contact Sport.” (There’s a whole blog right there.): When 70 American sons gave their lives this month in a war that it seems only President Bush and Donald Rumsfeld are defending…

When stem-cell research it about to be put up to a vote in Missouri, a state where half of all working woman are employed by the NEA and who have been indoctrinated into a perpetuating state of complete stupidity, and instead of “No Child Left Behind,” it should have been, “No Woman Teacher Left Ignorant”…

And all day long it was reported that at least five major football stadiums have reportedly been targeted for the dirty bombs that all the Muslims were told to leave the country for, (by Monday) But Homeland Security tell you not to worry--- then Rumsfeld says, worry.

And worst of all, I spent ten minutes listening to my doctor give me a very esoteric and detailed account on the first historical trials of different medicines used to cure tuberculosis (informing me that 17 of the test subjects died before they figures out anti-biotics was not the way to go)…

All the time I was sitting there wondering just what was he trying to say to me? (Don’t touch the porn hand-outs from Mexicans in Las Vegas?)

I’ve decided it’s a good time to not be serious about anything. After all, according to all the polls…we are doomed. Might as well have some fun.

I find joy in the good news, that for the next few days before we are attacked again—the jihads are going to leave the baseball playoffs alone.

No offense football fans, it’s just that OUR team here in St. Louis has one more chance to beat the Mets and go on to the World Series.

Let’s get our priorities straight. Baseball was here first.

It’s our Declarational and Jeffersonian right to pursue happiness at this point in time.

So, if you want a political blog today, stop reading and go to the many brilliant authors on this blog. They will all inform, inspire, and make you laugh, and remind you …to buy stock.

Instead I’m going to give my nobody’s opinion on a subject completely irrelevant in space and time, or even the wonderful NASDAQ traders, who should all get a life.

I am going to tell you my opinion about the number 22, why it is my very favorite.

It will not come up again, not in my blogtime.

The number 22 happens to be my favorite number because it used to be Jack Clark’s (the ripper) number, before he decided one day that he didn’t think it was so lucky, and out of the clear blue sky, changed his Cardinal Uniform number to 00.

Hey, at the time he could have put 666 on his back and I would have thought it cute.

Jack, though he will never know it, taught me about the meaning of true love…which…is…what---you think I’m going to tell you now?

Wait for it.

To fill you in on this superstition, the number 22 in numerology is considered the highest of numbers. It means “You are da man. You are the supreme. You are God’s chosen, and You will probably win the lottery if you play this every week.”

I suggest we all go out and put that number in our wallets right now.

If you haven’t noticed by now, most sports teams have a number 22 on it.

Everyone has their favorite high school memories, we all remember our first loves, our first cars, and our first insane addictions to of course the one and only greatest sport team that ever lived, that just happened to be in our city.

My team was the Cardinals of the 1980’s. Anyway…I had a big crush on Jack, me and just about every woman in St. Louis, for the obvious reason that Jack was exciting even when he struck out.

Even the men thought he was exciting when he struck out.

And then, something funny started happening. I started to see the number “22” everywhere. Every time I looked at the clock…2.22.., it seems I always got the number on a lottery ticket. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t see the number in some form, on license plates, in pictures on billboards.

Once I even saw it on my refrigerator door. I decided it had to be a lucky number.
Believe me when I tell you that this went on for YEARS. It was as if my brain had a homing device for the number no matter where it appeared.

Now, most women, when they are single, get innocent ‘crushes.’ In fact, my mother, after my father died, was totally in love at the age of 78 with two men…Cary Grant and Patrick Swayne.

She happens to hold the record for the only woman in the universe to have watched “Ghost” and “An Affair To Remember” every single time it was aired, which seemed to be at least three times a day.

Anyway, I got to thinking about this numbers thing. Even about the power of the number thirteen. Was 22 a lucky number? Or was it an unlucky number? Is 13 unlucky, lucky?

See…such simple things can go through mind of a woman who has been hypnotize and drugged by the genetically educed endorphins of the usual animal attractions of our species.

(There, that should have satisfied the noble minded.)

The other day, I asked the counter lady who was checking out my groceries if she was suspicious because, it was actually Friday the 13th.

And she gave the answer that I had always wondered about. It’s all how you look on it. If you think it’s unlucky…then that “force” in the universe will make it so. If you think it’s actually lucky…then it is, and good luck will follow you everywhere.

Funny, you can hear more wisdom coming out of the mouths of ordinary American than you can from our Congress…why is that?

But, that got me to thinking…if we think that America’s time is up, then it will be. Like lucky or unlucky numbers on a clock…maybe if we all start really believing that some miracle will happen, and the world will send us new leaders with new hope, maybe they will actually materialize right before our eyes…just because.

Thousands of books have been written about this positive thinking stuff.

Whenever I read one, I would always think, “Well, I’m glad it works for YOU.”
I just couldn’t believe, going on about mylife, that it was that simple.

It’s all how you look at it. Could the answer be that simple? Hell no…

McCain might kill himself.

No. Hey, I’m just having fun…you tell me. I’m now seeing 1.11; I’ve come down in the world of master numbers.

Must be this flu.

Oh…that’s right; I was going to tell you what the secret of love is…

The secret to really loving someone is when the only thing you want for that person is what makes THEM truly happy, even if happiness does not include you.

Well, it’s a start.

Hey…sounds like I got to know Jack…right? Nah…well…hey, I got baseball fever, leave me alone…

Hey…did you just see the number 22? Make a wish for me.

Nobody’s Perfect; The only way that I could get over my addiction to baseball was to go cold turkey. But tonight, I will be watching the Cards Vs the Mets, and really… to all you New Yorkers? Do you really want a World Series game going on there? It’s GOT to be cold, there now. Do you really want to sit out and freeze just to see a baseball game? Are you seeing the number 22? How about 13?

Nobody Knows; I still think there is something to this “numbers” and luck thing. Hey, if physicists can say with a straight face, that according to the “numbers” they have figured out the universe and everything in it, then I can think the number 22 is lucky.

Nobody Cares; My doctor never did say what was wrong with me, he just gave me some bacterial killing pills that would have cost me $300, without insurance.

And there happens to be only five, which is exactly how many days before the “dirty bombs” go off---Hey, how lucky is that?