Reincarnation: Outlawed With the Stroke of a Chinese Pen

Nobody’s Opinion: China has just announced that reincarnation has now been outlawed, mainly to get rid of the habit of those pesky Dalai Lama’s popping up every seventy years or so just to give them trouble. It should also take care of all the people walking around China claiming to be reincarnations of Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Napoleon, or Chairman Mao’s second cousin.

As we all know from South Park, the real Dalai Lama escaped from his home in Tibet some time ago, and unless he really IS a god, he is getting ready for his reincarnation.

You can’t blame the Chinese for not wanting to have to deal with another brutal public annihilation of a whole country. Killing a whole nation of Buddhists might have been easy once, but now they have more important things to do---like persecuting Christians. There are just so many persecutions one can do in one decade. Best just to write a law and stop the whole mess.

After all, when they went into Tibet to take over, they obviously did not expect the Dalai Lama to be like all the other leaders on the earth, running away from harm’s way while his people were being slaughter and murdered. No, he was on a royal Lama donkey with his protective priests, riding over mountains into Richard Gere land, to live another day.

That escape was not exactly a good PR moment for the Chinese.

There is the question that enters ones mind about reincarnation; If the Dalia Lama really believes in reincarnation as he says he does, why didn’t he just stick around Tibet and face death with the rest of his people, because his soul would have instantly found another vessel to crawl into, probably in the very next village? Now when he dies, the royal soul is going to have to go a long way home to find another little boy. I mean, no one knows just how far souls can travel now, do they?

Are there frequent flyer miles for Buddhist souls?

The ever popular Dalai Lama has his own place in New York, thanks to Richard Gere. Richard likes the Dalai Lama so much, that he sacrificed his marriage to Cindy Crawford by taking her one too many times to the Himalayan boonies to sit and scratch bugs off her buns while he meditated. He probably figured he could meet up with her in his next life. Cindy did not care to wait that long.

Frankly, I think the Chinese may have something here. Since I can only assume that I was a squirrel in my past life, I have no idea what entity I may end up in my future life. If the way things are going are any indication, I am on a definite fast track to a very decent mud slug.

So, I’m all for this reincarnation outlawing thing.

In fact, I think here in America, since we can’t seem to get term limits on Presidents, we should just outlaw any reincarnation of any political family that has served before, starting with the Clintons.

The Chinese probably think that banning reincarnation is going to stop the all the Buddhists who believe that the next Dalai Lama will be found after this one passes away.

But, what are they going to do if the new one just happens to be a poor black kid from New York? Send their troops into the Bronx? Oh…just send over poison food. It could work.

I shouldn’t make fun of the Lama…really. I once took my kids to see the Dalai Lama here in St. Louis. I had high expectations thanks to Richard Gere. There was a Cardinal, a Rabbi, and a Methodist also speaking that day.

What was I suppose to tell them, when the Dalai Lama spent the whole time pulling on some choirgirls pigtails and laughing when everyone else was talking?

This was a great man? Great men ignore other people?

What they did learn was that sometimes the buildings are more impressive than the religious speakers…oh well. What’s a past squirrel to do?

The Dalai Lama once said, “Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.”

This makes you wonder…if all politicians are not Dalai Lamas. They all seemed to have a knack for breaking rules.

In the end, the Dalai Lama’s big message is, “Don’t worry, be Happy.”

No wonder he fits in with the liberal movie stars. The Dalai Lama has said many times that he is not angry at all that the Chinese people killed thousands and destroyed the peaceful nation of Tibet. Not the least little bit.

Come to think of it…I think they might have made a mistake. It sounds like the Dalai Lama might have been a squirrel like me in his past life, instead of a Buddhist God.

I feel better already. I could be a God and don't know it. Feel free to release the Dalai Lama in yourself, it might be your last chance.

Nobody’s Perfect: Richard Gere is still a Buddhist.

Nobody Knows: How many reincarnations it takes to become a Dalai Lama, and why there is only one?

Nobody Cares: Any system that is based on the “you have to keep punishing yourself until you get it right” in order to feel worthy, sounds like the same old rationalization for why some people should be made Gods, and others stay lowly worms to me. I think I’d rather hang out with an agnostic squirrel.