Brain Defibrillations

Nobody’s Opinion: Okay, I’m in a funk right now. Politics has got me crazy. I’m starting to walk around in a daze, tripping over old dog bones, wondering when the actually question of, “How many angels can fit on the end of a pin?” will get around to being discussed under EG’s columns, or the Democrats debates.

John Edwards would claim at least fifty angels might fit…but if one fell off, he would sue. And since angels are hard to treat and not represented in our medical system, he would personally represent them for a major settlement, even if he does go to hell for doing it, where he would be in heaven.

See what I mean?

I’ve been reading in five books a day, and ten magazines, only to then discuss the finer points of chasing a rabbit to my dog, who still has no clue.

The book from my local library, which I got because of the title, “SCREWED—THE UNDECLARED WAR Against the Middle Class,” by Thom Hartmann--- much to my total surprise turned out to be a propaganda book admiring FDR…who according to Thom, made the middle class with all his great social programs….AND also claimed that Ronald Reagan, unlike all you moronic conservatives think---Reagan is the man who destroyed the middle class because he got rid of the taxes on the rich.

The money did not trickle down, like it was supposed to: into all the welfare mothers, the illegal aliens, and Bill Clinton’s pants. Nope. The rich guys kept it.

Well, I agree. Somebody got it.

What’s even worse, is that while I’m looking for the mate to my other tennis shoe, I was thinking that sometimes the guy had a point, until I read:

“When you cut all those social programs, you lose the middle class and in its place create a very small, very wealthy elite and a large underclass of starvation wage workers. You lose democracy and instead create corporatocracy. You change the rules of the game; We the People lose, and the feudal lords win.”

Social programs=middle class. Gee. What did I miss? Where were my food stamps?

Huh? Did you feel that earthquake? What’s wrong with this sentence?

I find my other shoe, of course; the soul has been chewed out.

Good thing I remember living through President Ronald Reagan’s time. Even though the taxes seemed high, so was my paycheck. And that paycheck bought a lot.

After he left office…all the paychecks went down. It's been reported, but not too loudly.

They say salaries are “flat” in the papers to make you think it’s not worse than you think. They don’t mention the word…gone.

Yeah, the title of the book was very deceiving, like a politician who will say whatever it takes to get into office then Bam!

“Hello! Who are you?”

It’s like you thought you were getting real leather boots, only to find out you were duped into “Made in China,” dog food---poison reports at ten.

I’ve been going down to the pool the last few days to do laps, hoping to swim away not only the heat, but my own melting, mushy, forlorn thoughts.

Men go play golf. Women---well, I’m not exactly a, “Let’s get together girls and talk about our kids, and whose kid is better, kind of gal.” So that’s out.

I’ve been floating around the moat like a log with a rotten attitude, running into big, fat, white mothers with black babies. There are lots of them here. And yes, the babies are cute. But, it’s still sad, to me…why?

Yesterday, among all the two hundred people at the pool, I am the only one in the lap section, and I am the only one that some two-year-old decided to throw up on as I was trying not to run into him. The lifeguard just watched. She was two feet away.

Did I mention the lap section is only for adults?

They emptied the whole pool. The stomach flu is going around.

See?

I’ve been seeing Hillary’s chubby cheeks in little kid’s faces. I’ve been dreaming of steak, and designing space crafts, and wondering should the earth end in water, fire, nuclear explosion, or repeated programs of Chris Matthews?

I look down the street at sunset and go “huh?” When did the sun move?

You hear that the stocks fell, the housing market collapsed, Brittany Spears is a drug addict, pity her children, we will be attacked, and we Americans are the cause of everything bad that has ever happened since the beginning of man. America was to blame for the downfall of Adam and Eve. Just ask Jimmy Carter. He was there.

I saw a picture of George Bush in the Globe the other day, with a Life-Vest defibrillator under his T-shirt. He has gone to Ohio over 48 times, some say to visit the excellent heart clinic there. This means he is actually worse off than Cheney.

That explains all the bike rides. That also tells you that just the fact that CNN has not touch this subject…maybe the moon has moved.

America is getting totally degraded, smacked, kicked, twisted, berated…and that’s not from the Muslims, that’s from our own leaders.

I know…get a life. Get a job. Be a waitress, or better yet…maybe a CIA agent. (ha!)

All in good time. I have to find my purse. I think I left it in another state.

I just thought I should apologize to my readers. This will not last long.

It’s just a funk…and to prove it, I have wonderful news.

I am here to report that a real movie for men against bossy women has been made. It's worth seeing just for the scene where you witness a man punch a big $&^% nazi woman in the face and flattens her, and the whole audience cheers.

It’s called “The Wicker Man” with Sean Penn…no just kidding. I wish it was Sean Penn…because of the ending.

It stars the same guy who was in National Treasure and Face-Off…Nicolas Cage.

Go see it…because, misery loves company.

Just kidding again! Its right down MND’s alley. Nicolas does some really marvelous things, in the movie, trust me…you’ll like it.

But, I won’t tell you the ending, it might put you in a funk, and one person there is enough.

Now, where is my defibrillator?