Nothing Like The Smell of a Fresh Kill On Oil-Free Land

Nobody’s Opinion: Tell me---did you ever get the urge to go to South America, spend endless days in the jungle waiting hidden in dirt up to your head, patiently to catch a hawk, and then fly home after you’ve finally caught it, only to spend countless hours training that hawk how to catch prey, just for the absolute thrill of seeing it speed down and mutilate a bunny or a deer?

Who has that kind of time? I have trouble finding time to go get dog food.

We all know that hawks and eagles will do this naturally---but the rich, and by that I mean Sultans and Royal American Democrats, have gotten it into their heads they are controlling this “kill,” and that’s very exciting to them.

They call a “field sport”--- falconry. Sounds so---refined.

Come to think of it, not many rich kids play hockey.

Accordingly, this kill by your trained pet “hawk” is very exciting to watch, the rich will tell you. They don’t need the meat. Sometimes they don’t even let the bird eat it.

But, it is wise, to always tear out the heart of the catch and throw it to the bird they advise.

A bit chilling if you ask me.

Why they don’t just get themselves a set of good binoculars and watch the birds doing the real thing like all good little environmentalists should do, I ask in all sincerity? Can you guess?

Control---the thrill of teaching a wild thing to kill at your command. (Well, that’s just my unprofessional nobody opinion.)

Control..a word that I thought of today when I heard that an NBC executive fell off 50 floors today.

Bobby Kennedy I was reading today…absolutely loves this sport. Bobby, who was taught by his father, partakes in this historical “field sport” so much, even teaching it to his children, that Bobby would think nothing of saying, “Do you want to see if we can bump some bunnies before sunset?”

Do the ghetto gangs say, “Do you want to see if we can bump some wotties before sunrise?”

I mean, what’s the difference? Both are considered sports by the people who partake in them, aren’t they? Evidently, according to what I was hearing today, these horrible dogs fights have been going on for quite some time here in America…along with chicken fights.

As if watching MTV while eating Taco Bell was not entertaining enough.

Falconry is a sport for kings, sultans, and democratic environmental nuts, who have lots of time, can fly anywhere in the world, and release their pets to the bountiful fields of game. They’ll even go nude if they have to, to stay with their bird. (no kidding)

Dog fighting is a sport for rappers, perfect entertainment for drug parties, and can take place anywhere if you cut vocal chords.

Big difference you say? Well, sure…letting dogs kill each other for entertainment is a crime any man should be put away for, we all agree.

But then again, why is falconry so “noble?” The rich don’t eat the kill, it’s just for fun.

The desire to train animals to viciously kill other animals, using their natural instincts for survival, is strong in both the rich and the poor. It’s just that the lower classes use it to make money and for sadistic pleasure.

Bobby Kennedy describes his thrill: “A golden eagle can take an adult pronghorn antelope, sinking its talons into the animal’s neck with 500 pounds per square inch of force.”

Remind me not to hang around the Kennedy compound.

But since the Kennedy family took up the sport to hang around the Saudi Kings, how do we know there wasn’t some kind of “money” deals being made during the “hunts?”

How do we know that Bill Clinton did not kill bin Laden just because he was on a “scared” falconry game, out of respect to the rich “club”? Maybe somebody spotted Bobby in the gang.

Maybe Bobby lost his hawk.

I mean, Bobby is so concerned about us tearing up his American sporting grounds for oil, it would only make sense he keep in good with the Saudi’s. Both parties will sell off America’s soul just to keep our own land free of oil wells.

But, one thing for sure---the rich, like the scumbags who put on dog fights, love to witness the kill. They take a lot of pride in their bird’s ability to attack with stealth.

But here’s a fact: The environmentalist Bobby tells us that 80% of raptors die during their first year trying to master the art of killing game, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to train the other 20%.

Unfortunately, 80% of crooked politicians don’t go away.

Here in the poor states, most guys go deer hunting. The difference is they actually eat the deer.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down and said, “What’s this? It looks like squirrel jerky, covered in some kind melted fruitcake?” Only to be told, “It’s the deer John shot last week, dear. That’s pork gravy, tastes real good.”

“Uh..I think I’ll pass. I don’t like pork.”

Sorry, I grew up on hamburgers. No amount of ketchup can cover the taste of John Doe’s deer which was probably killed last fall.

Oh Joyanna--- there’s no comparison you might say. Falconry is hunting…like using coon dogs.

Okay---coon hunting for the poor, is much like fox hunting for the Royal Brits.

Who in this day and age eats dead coons or foxes? (Okay, don’t all tell me at once.)

I’m not against hunting…it one reason we still have guns.

It’s was just that I was so surprised to hear that the sport of falconry was being used as a ploy by Bobby Kennedy to preserve the earth and all his environmental causes, instead of what it really is: Bobby Kennedy really gets a thrill of training a wild animal to kill on command, all that stuff he says is just typical liberal baloney.

Actually, after learning about this “art,” I’m thinking of training my parakeets to attack my dogs. Washing mud off my curtains is getting to be a real chore.

So, what do you think?