The Relativity of the Rich

Nobody’s Opinion; All things being relative, so is your paycheck.

The New York Times just did a report on how truly miserable and poor the millionaires in Silicon Valley are feeling right now. They are working 70 to 80 hour weeks just like the baby boomers in Middle America, and they don’t have much more to show for it. If these people moved to St. Louis, they could have mega-mansions, much like Kobe Bryant, with their own basketball courts--- but they are stuck in the valley of two million dollar-4 bedroom homes.

And they only have a few million in the bank…it’s not good. The future looks bleak to them.

Please…I have a dog to feed.

Why don’t they get more for their money? Because they want more. They see others around them who are making billions, and they feel very lower/middle class. It’s rough out there.

Yes, I understand. I want more too. I want to re-do my driveway. All the neighbors have resurfaced theirs. Of course, they don’t have trees pushing up roots every twenty feet, and they also don’t love trees. But, still---it’s the competition thing.

A hobo would want a dog, if the other hobo had one. It’s only fair.

Money: As they say- follow it and you will find all the real answers, including all the 300 multinational stocks that Michael Moore owns but trashes in his movies.

And here in no particular order are some nobody thoughts on the subject. After all, money now is all just thin air.

Fort Knox is now holding Chinese yen…online.

**********

Have you noticed lately how the programs on TV really push the rich, their houses, and their vast fortunes in your face? I mean, on the weekend, if you are not watching sports, you have dozens of cable channels showing off the “rich,” with all their huge bathtubs that they always pretend they have had incredible sex in.

They need 30 rooms just to hold their clothes while they do it.

You can go from feeling bad about being a lousy golfer, to feeling bad about the fact that you can’t afford to buy a new car for another ten years, let alone 67 of them. No wonder they want cheap labor. How many Mexicans does it take to wash 67 cars?

Some of us would trade in the last few years of our lives for a red Viper, as long as we could keep our souls.

Maybe that’s the key to riches, do not have soul, they tend to get in the way.

Today I watched a program on ET about 100 rich people and their “homes” and habits. Some of these people not only have more rooms in their houses than they could ever actually visit in a lifetime, they also have to buy more cars than they will ever have the time to drive…

Is there a point here I’m missing?

Oprah was at the top of the list. She made 230 million in 2006. I don’t care…to buy all those huge estates, with rooms that they don’t even use…just to impress, who…

US?

What…was she beaten as a child? Did the sexual abuse make her greedy for a room to hide in every day of the year?

Tell me, what is smart about buying mansions with hundreds of rooms, if your just one person with no kids? I just don’t get it.

I’m starting to think the rich all have some kind of psychological neurosis.

Some country singer, who has been bashing George Bush, actually carries ten motorcycles and uses twenty buses to go on tour. (I won’t mention his name.) Gee…I don’t know…why not just rent the darn things? Give some poor man a few bucks?

The only “rich” guy that made any sense to me was Johnny Depp, who bought his own island to hide away on. Now that makes sense.

Still, I was thinking that he probably pays thousands for his dumpy looking clothes, which proves he is not altogether immune to stupid moments.

I mean, can you see Oprah going on TV saying, “I got this shirt at Wal-Mart for seven dollars? Isn’t it great?” No... not unless the shirt had her name on it.

*********
And speaking of good sense…I’m starting to get real suspicious of MTV’s Cribs. Rapper after rapper, sports star after sports star…all have immaculate houses, with very little furniture, and a swimming pool that looks like the last time anyone used it was…never.

Come on, none of these guys can even swim.

Something just doesn’t seem right. They have multi-million dollar homes, all own their own business, and supposedly run their own businesses…and yet, I bet they’d lose to a student on, “Are You Smarter Than a First Grader?” if there was such a program.

I don’t care; NO one keeps a house that spotless.

I’m almost convinced their lawyers live in these houses and just move out for a week when the camera’s come in.

********
Yes, sometimes I think that the figures they report these people having are not real facts…I personally think they have billions more in their Swiss bank accounts.

And here's an interesting fact. All the rich have private jets. Did you know that in many of the urban centers small corporate jets take up at least 30 percent of the takeoffs, landing and flight space? And that’s not counting all the rappers, television stars, and movie mogul who want to fly daily between New York and their house in Miami.

And did you also know that even if these planes only hold a few people, they take as much attention from air-traffic control as your nobody flight?

Recently two major airlines were forced to cancel dozens of flights due to overcrowded skies.

It’s not only our Congressmen who are notorious for traveling for special haircuts and holding up airports, it’s movie stars wanting that special lobster only made in Boston.

And isn’t it funny that while millions are being made to suffer by these huge ego’s, sitting on the plane for hours waiting for some CEO to take off…the extra private planes are also spewing oil all over the tiny houses in the poor dirty neighborhoods beneath the airports? Al Gore has not mentioned this once.

Well, get use to it. The rich are getting richer, and some day, you will be considered lucky to even fly anywhere, the sky will be too full with important people waiting to be cleared to fly to their homes in Dubai. You will have to wait your turn, starving for hours in some plane waiting to take off.

Okay, I'm not laughing. No really, I'm not!

**********
Which brings me to the title...the word...relative.

The concept of relativity is supposed to make you feel better when you can’t have something. It's the supreme rationlization. The liberals think every issue is relative to the moment.

For instance, if everything is relative, than anything goes, and that’s tolerance for nudity, porn, adultery, homosexuality, corruption, and the very special perk of politicians giving lucrative jobs and ambassadorships to all their relatives, friends, and campaign contributors.

And the meek shall inherit the earth, says the Lord.

Well, that doesn’t make me feel any better right now.

Since I am on the brown level of the influential, I actually felt rich today because I could afford a 3 plants (mums) for $12 dollar bargain.

But, last week, while walking through the botanical gardens here, I met a couple who were retired teachers. And I couldn’t believe what they said.

They said that at the peak of their ‘earnings’ they only made $70.000…a piece. It was a horrendous salary they thought.

The man had taught high school biology, and the woman had been a gym teacher. Now, the government pays them NOT to grow anything on the thousands acres of land that they bought in Kentucky.

Frankly, I don’t know what these two were complaining about. They had nice pensions, they could travel, they had land that paid them... but they felt poor.

I didn’t tell them I would feel VERY rich if I had made that salary, but I wanted them to think I had money…it was the hat that fooled them. Ostensibly, I was no better than Oprah.

See, even nobody’s have their pride.

********

In the end, as they say, you are as happy as you want to be. Well, that’s what they say. Still, I do wish the press would quit complaining about all of us middle class poor people who do not want to be house cleaners for the rich in Los Angles.

I know that money and the happiness that it buys is relative: but I bet if they paid a nice salary to an American…he would be glad to do it.

So…I have a theory. I think the rich people like to hire the poor Spanish people, because the Spanish can’t understand a word they are saying.

The last thing they need is word getting out what the real rich are really like.


Nobody’s Perfect; For some strange reason, it is a fact that many Mensa’s (people with very high I.Q.’s) are not exactly known for making money. In fact, some of them are even poor. Money is just not important to many of them.

Nobody Knows; J.K. Rowlings is now richer than Queen Elizabeth. So one wonders how rich she will be after the next two Harry Potter movies?

Nobody Cares: Exactly.

Also I'm sure nobody cares that I would probably do the exact same thing as many of the rich I continue to envy...I’d only need the car on top to do it in.