Sunday, February 24, 2008

Nobody Reports On a Monday: And the Oscar Goes To...Hillary!


Nobody’s Opinion: And the Oscar goes to ….Hillary Clinton, for the best faked emotional, “I am so honored to be here with Barack Obama!” speech ever performed in her exhausting performing political life. Yes---I’m watching the yearly presentation of the 2008 Oscars awards at this very moment, and thinking back on last week’s debate between Hillary and Obama in Texas…you know the moment that every single political reporter, writer, and comedian claimed all week long was Hillary’s swan song, being as Obama has been beating her unmercifully in every state.

I have no idea how so many people could have gotten it so wrong.

Here’s what really happened: Hillary said… “You know, I am so superior to Obama, you people have no clue, and you all think that I am admitting that I cannot win, but to show you just how little I fear him, I will thank him with such sincerity you will have no doubt just how superior I am for even doing it. And when I said that no matter who wins, it’s not about us, it’s about the American people? Well, dummies, I’ve said that before…remember? That other great acting moment when I almost cried? You know, what I was really saying was that if you do NOT make ME President, you will ALL be sorry! Hey--- Obama knew I was stabbing him with a sword he couldn’t possibly counter...HA! I’m good!”

Well, don’t believe me. But next time you see that piece, look at Obama’s face. She is making him look like a schoolboy, and condescendingly playing the vastly superior teacher, who was giving him a tiny pat on back. The next day she stabbed him good.

Like a kiss on the lips from the Godfather, it was a kiss that it seems only Obama and this nobody saw which leads to---

Nobody’s Perfect---No, Obama didn’t see that coming.

But, getting back to the Oscars 80th anniversary program, we all know the movie business is suffering, not that many out here in “forget those idiots” land care. I have seen none of the nominated movies, or even care to. What’s there to see? A 12-year-old gets pregnant and finds it fun? George Clooney, plays his arrogant self…again. Al Gore’s old roommate, plays himself…in a cowboy hat, in something about old men, which actually won Best Picture of the Year? Whoopee.

Makes you long for the good old days, when you couldn’t wait to see the movie. Now, you can wait till some afternoon in your nineties when you’re bored.

Well, they’re not stupid. They knew not too many “people” outside Hollywood have seen any of these lame movies. So to keep us all watching, they kept showing tons of old footage of old movie stars.

And to show “middle America” they actually like soldiers, they let some soldiers in Bagdad announce a category, right before they blasted us with anti-war documentaries, using Tom Hanks, as the designated “buffer.”

The guy who won said the usual “We need to see the light.” stuff.

Okay. I’m looking at my old light bulb right this minute, and it’s a good one.

Nobody Knows---Which makes you wonder---do these rich movie stars and producers even care that they are losing millions here in America?

Nah---like our politicians and CEO’s, they consider us history. It’s all about global markets.

And speaking of globalization, I thought it rather strange that most of the actresses wore long dresses without the usual gaudy diamond necklaces from Cartier’s.

What? Is this like the old “don’t wear mink” craze? Don’t wear diamonds because slaves in Africa dig them up?

Well, Nicole Kidman did not let that stop her from having the most gaudy diamond necklace I have ever seen, dangling down in front of her long black dress. Smart girl…always wear something different to stand out from the crowd.

Then again, maybe she was trying to hide her pregnancy. Jon Stewart, who was probably the worst host in Oscar history, announced it so Tom Cruise now knows she could have a natural baby too, just like him!

Nobody Cares; And speaking of standing out in a crowd, Castro, a man of great drama, and mandatory crowd control, is stepping down and handing power over to his brother Raul. This makes you wonder if they would even announce Castro is dead? Who in their right mind would care? One less dictator is a good thing.

And speaking of not caring if Castro is alive or dead, it seems the CPUSA (Communist Party of the United States of America) is alive and well.

I went on it for the first time yesterday, and yes…it reads like a Hillary/Obama speech. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and Google it. When it comes to communism, neither Hillary nor Obama is acting.

Nobody Wins; Forget the Oscar’s. For the first time in an American presidential debate, a Spanish commentator was allowed to speak in Spanish and declare that by 2050, there will be 125-million Spanish people here. Both Obama and Hillary suggested in great spin, that yes, we must all learn two languages.

Does anyone remember the Alamo? What is the matter with us!

I did not hear one solid commentator…Rush Limbaugh, O’Reilly, Laura Ingram…you know who they are…say one thing about this blatant attack against our country.

Nevertheless, the very next day, Michael Chertoff, (who looks like he walked right out of a 1920's Vampire movie) came out and started talking about how they were actually going to start work on that border problem…really. I’m wondering how many people called the White House.

And they wonder why we think they are all blood-suckers.

Nobody’s Fool: In the end, when they can’t stuff the new stuff down your throat, they put up pictures of Ronald Reagan, or say the words of Martin Luther King, or talk about John Kennedy, or in the case of the Oscars…

Show old footage of Gone with the Wind.

The next American Anthem, if Hillary's acting career keeps going.

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