Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Dogs Are Hoarding Our Bones...


Nobody Cares: ---about my two puppies. I call them puppies but really, they are like little kids with fluffy hair. And every morning, while I spend an hour of reading time waking up to the day, there is a dog-bone treat hoarding ritual taking place right before my eyes.

There’s not much I can do about it…short of cruelty.

Everyday I am witness to the blunt selfishness of one of my dogs, and today, I realized that our government is doing the exact same thing to the U.S. taxpayers that one of my dogs does everyday…they are hoarding our bones.

I have to set this up:
My older dog, Koko, (I know, not very original) is a seven-year old Pom/American Eskimo mix. She’s a delicate thing and very quiet. My younger dog, Zippy, is a full-blooded white American Eskimo, and is built like a Sumo wrestler. She actually pulls me around the block every night, lease in her mouth…charging up the hills, just like a big mush dog.

She thinks she’s in Alaska, and about 50 pounds heavier, and for now, I’m not spoiling her illusion…it’s too entertaining.

Zippy is the top dog in the pecking order, because she could literally put Koko the older dog in severe back pain with just a big playful jump on her back. In fact, she once did just that to a tune of several hundred dollars in x-rays…

Therefore, Zippy (much like our government) knows she can do just about anything.

So, it’s easy to see why Zippy is always happy, and Koko is always in a bad mood.

I adore them both, but I must admit--- Zippy is a bully, even if she is adorable.

Anyway---every morning, Koko lies beside me, curled up, and I give her these cheap little dog-bone treats. Koko loves these treats. They are practically the only dog food she will eat. I also have three bowls of different dog foods available to them both on the kitchen floor, but Zippy won’t let Koko touch them.

Where’s a dog whisperer when you need him?

Every single morning I give Koko four dog-bone treats. I put them right between her paws. I also give Zippy four treats, but Zippy…has other things in mind.

She goes right over and gets right up in Koko’s face, just inches away. Zippy then proceeds to lay right next to Koko’s face…with a real relaxed innocence look that says;
“I’m just sitting here---aren’t I cute? Hey… you gonna eat those?”

Koko of course, growls, and shows her teeth, this goes on for about five minutes…but Zippy just smiles (yes, dogs DO smile) and waits, because even though she has four treats of her own, she wants Koko’s.

You guessed it. Zippy’s sheer tenacity and patience intimidates Koko so badly, that Koko will get up and move, leaving her treats for Zippy. (Sort of like the American people who are being bullied into giving all their money to the government forever, “Oh shut up and take it why don’t ya, you’re going to anyway.”)

Then Zippy, having won the standoff game, picks up all Koko’s dog-bone treats in one scoop, in her mouth. She makes sure I see the clever trick she has done, (in fact, she is very proud of this action) prances around the room for a while, and then she proceeds to run up the stairs.

She comes back empty. I always figured she ate them.

After she gets downstairs, Zippy then goes over and finally picks up the four I gave her, and then goes over to Koko and sits down right in her face to torture her.

You can just see her little puppy mind thinking, “I’m good.”

I once saw Zippy stuff all six dog-treats in her mouth at one time, a trick our government has also mastered.

Yes... poor Koko. I end up feeding her turkey later just to make up for Zippy’s fun.

Anyway…one day, while I was cleaning the house, I happened to look behind a couch (something I hardly ever do) and there in a secret space…was a pile of about 75 dog-bone treats.

There you go…Zippy was hoarding all the dog-bones treats. I’m almost afraid to lift any more furniture.

So what’s the moral to this dog-bone treat hoarding story?

Right now, America is being bullied into giving up all our precious dog-bones treats to Congress; to “bail out” the gluttons. We’re a bunch of Koko’s, letting the big bully Zippy government come in and grab whatever they want. Koko, my weaker dog, at least has me to make sure she gets a fair share of food…but who helps us? Who protects us from our own bully government?

And by the way…don’t you wonder where they have they been hiding all our bones for all these years? And because we’re weaker, we will never stand up to them because of what?…

Fear? Yep, that pretty much explains it.

There’s not much difference between dogs and men when it comes to their dog-bones treats…is there?
Nevertheless, dogs have an excuse…men most certainly, do not.

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