Ellen Degeneres: The New Face of Cover Boy

Nobody Wins: Ellen Degeneres has been chosen as the new face of Cover Girl.

Wow.

I can think of just about a dozen popular and young beautiful movie stars that, had I been the VP of Global Cosmetics of Procter and Gamble, would have actually been a better choice.

Let's face it, Ellen's lips are not exactly Angelina Jolie's.

Or is that the point? What? Does this mean that Revlon no longer likes women?

No offense meant to her. But Ellen does NOT consider herself a ...."girl." After all, she has a new "wife" which makes her a "Cover Boy."

Hellloooooo?

But Esi Eggleston, the actual VP of Gl0bal cosmetics, had this to say: "Ellen is the quintessential Cover Girl."

Wow. Quintessential. Wow.

So, let me get this straight. You have to think you're a "man" to be the quintessentional woman...or Cover Girl...is that it?

I have been laughing at all guys in Esquire looking very feminine, I guess now they want to make all the girls in the fashion mags look more masculine.

They will do anything to stop people from having kids and mucking up the earth, promoting homosexuality will put an end to that nonsense. At least that seems to be the plan.

There is some good news about this annoucement. Ellen Degenreas, a woman who most of her career has hated makeup, now, will have to be putting lipstick on everywhere she goes.

I must admit, I get a strange sadistic pleasure out of that.

And being the liberated man that she is...she's not going to like that. Kissing her new wife is going to be pretty messy. Arguments over whose lipstick is on whose glass might get confusing.

But, hey...she does have a new "wife" to support now....

So, a toast to Ellen, the new Cover Boy...Girl...Unisex?

Whatever.

Even though Revelon probably feels this is a real move in the right direction. Like all those Hollywood movies that nobody goes to see...I wonder just how many lipsticks Revelon is going to sell..and just what colors they are going to call their products.

A few suggestions for the new lipsticks: Nuptial Red Gay, Casanova Ellen Pink, Manly Ardor Sunbeam, Nipple Orange Confusion, Unibed Amber...

And my personal favorite: Cover Boy Red Roxy

Somebody tell me what just happened....cause this nobody has no clue.