Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Late Great Interior Decorator and Number 22





  • Nobody Wins---at least that’s according to Hal Lindsey, the author of The Late Great Planet Earth. Remember that book? It was the hottest read back in the 1970’s, right up there with, I’m OK--You’re OK, meaning probably, that if the earth was going to end by total annihilation, according to the Bible, then we all had better get ourselves ready to met the Messiah, so when he comes to get us we could shout:

    “Hey---Jesus! Take ME…I’m Ok!”

    I find it’s always good to read books you’ve read before, because then you learn just how much you didn’t remember the first time you read them…which is of course, usually whatever comes after the first paragraph.

    That’s why I almost had a coronary the other day, when on one of those “I will come in and throw all the trash away in your house and redesign it for you” TV shows, the “interior decorator” wanted his client to throw away ALL his books...books that the “interior decorator” told him he would NEVER read, and yet, on the walls were the most hideous looking pieces of, some sort of macabre looking paper-mache hangings I have ever seen. I would have pitched those, and put up book shelves.

    But that’s me.

    The upsetting scene of-interior decorator vs. uneducated man who did not want to part with his only hope of not ever knowing what he might have missed…was excruciating to watch.

    Obviously, it was a subliminal message from our New World Order government--- carried out with the ploy of an interior decorator, that books are bad---get rid of them!

    I’ll have you know that books can save your life! If there is an nuclear attack, the very first thing you want to do (after you fill up your bathtub with water) is put all the books you have in your house, over and under the rooms you have decided to be your bunker, (along with a few couches) and the radiation, according to “How to Save Yourself From Radiation Poisoning” experts, will have a hard time getting through those old pages of, How to Grow Rich, Before You Die.”

    You won’t NEED to read that book after a nuclear attack, but you’ll be more than thankful you had it.

    And since I am also the proud owner of a complete set of the Thomas Registry, all 30 volumes, which I plan to make a tent out of and sleep under… I’m ready.

    Anyway, getting back to Hal’s book…today, while I was rereading it, I came upon that number again….22.

    You see, in this book, Hal makes the case that all the old Jewish prophets were actually pretty good at foretelling the future, and he gives examples. He says that King David gave an exact description of how Christ was going to feel hanging there on that cross, exactly 1000 years before it happened.

    And it’s in Psalms 22. (I know, I’m getting chills)


“I am poured out like water.” meaning he was perspiring.

“All my bones were out of joint.” In crucifixion, ligaments stretch and the bones pop out of joint.

“My tongue cleaveth to my jaws, I thirst.”

“For dogs have compassed me.” Did you know that gentiles were called dogs by the Jews back then? So, was David prejudice? (Somebody ask Reverend Wright.)


Okay, David, the ancestor of Jesus, had a vision of exactly how Jesus was going to die, and feeling it too. The proof that he was a true prophet, according to Hal, was that in David’s time, stoning was the way they killed people. Crucifixion was not used until the Romans adopted it, 800 years after David died.

Creepy.

The rest of the book goes on and describes the end of the world according to the Bible and those religious prophets who always got it right. I’m saving that part for Halloween.

But, what makes me feel really creepy about this; is that the Psalms just happens to be the number 22, considered by numerologists to be the most powerful number in the universe.

In fact, you could almost say that the number 22 is schizophrenic. It can go ether way: it’s either really lucky, or its Armageddon.

It makes the number 13 look like an illegitimate step-child’s illegitimate step-child. (Go ahead, say that to the next interior decorator you meet.)

So what’s this all mean?

Not a thing. Right now, I’m more worried about government propaganda coming into my living room disguised as “interior decorators.”

As far as I’m concerned, that decorator was NOT ok, in fact, he was a 22 just waiting to happen: a gay man depriving a poor black man of his education.

There are enough scary things happening right now without the help of Hal Lindsey, who doesn’t scare me as much as the number 22, and watching my TV…go figure.

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