Friday, October 10, 2008

Nobody Flashes About Motorcycles



Nobody Flashes: Yes, that's 007 in that suit and he's coming to pick me up any moment now, and then we will step into his Airbus, (putting the bike in the back) and fly to Richard Branson's island retreat, where I will be able to see what it's like to take a shower naked in front of an ocean.

Pity the ocean.

Okay, wake up.

I want you all to pay attention, and start counting all the big bankers, politicians, wall street goonies, CEO's....anyone who moans about the crash of 2008 and how it is the American people's fault for "consuming" too many things. So far, I'm up to ten people and I'm expecting to make it to twenty by Monday.

Okay, I'll admit--I'm guilty. I chewed too many packs of gum in 2008--- it just about killed me.

And speaking of consuming, this Christmas, 45 limited Editions of the 31 BMW 7 Series Model, 2009 Confederate Fighter motorcycles will be on sale at Neimain Marcus...for about $110,000.

And they say there's no inflation....that's a steal. The helmet alone is worth $10,000.

This pretty thing, with the titanium body, can get up to 190mph...

Which reminds me of a story--

The fastest I've ever gone on a motorcycle was 110 mph...and I wasn't even driving. Actually, my first husband was driving some bike he borrowed on a back country road with LOTS of BIG holes, and I was on the back, without a helmet...screaming, "STOP!STOP! STOP! PLEASE! LET ME OFF!"

Of course, he was hoping I would just pop off on one of the many holes he hit at 90.

I was saved by a brave police man who finally stopped us as we were approaching 120.

Poor guy, I got off and actually kissed him---and thanked him for saving my life. I was SO thankful to the cop that he didn't even give my "husband" a ticket, even though I sort of begged the point.

Yes, men stick together...even if it's obvious one man is trying to commit motorcycle homicide.

This is a true story guys, so...please don't let this get back to MND...

Well, after our "divorce" I heard my husband went out and bought himself a brand new, very expensive Harley. So, of course, when I heard about it, being a normal human being...I said, "I hope he crashes it, not gets hurt mind you , but crashes it." as I was eating my daily happy meal.

And sure enough...about a month later...I heard he did. He did not have insurance, and had just made the first payment, and he completely demolished it. Somehow ran it into a bush.

After that, I never wished anything like that again on anyone...still...I must admit:

It was GREAT karma.

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