Nobody Reports on a Monday: Torture

Nobody Reports on a Monday: I learned something this weekend...and that's always something to celebrate:

I leaned that Chinese water torture and water boarding are actually, very different tortures!

Who knew? Okay, you knew, but for some reason they skipped that in my high school water torturing classes.

So who cares? Well the History Channel for one, because they had a whole program on the way in ancient times, people were tortured in order to confess a crime.

And I must admit, I thought the Chinese water torture was superb. It was the "leaky faucet, shut up you $#%^# cricket!" sort of thing. Unlike water boarding, it seems much more..effective with less physical damage.

I TRIED to find a picture of it, but evidently Google doesn't want to show you, because too many people would be trying it at home...especially at frat parties. In fact, I wouldn't doubt if Skull and Bones, has used it on all their members. I suspect it leaves permanent brain damage from the actions of some of the politicians we've seen from that group...but that's just me.

Anyway: Here's the difference...in Chinese water torture, they simply strap you lying down in a chair so that you can't move. Of course to make it a bit more humane, the person being tortured should at least get bathroom breaks.

Next, they set up a sort of funnel over your forehead, and a small drop of water just drips on your forehead slowly...just tiny drops. So, really, physically speaking, your adrenaline can get too wired up and you try to get out of the restraints..and you go nuts. It's like a fly landing on your forehead and you can't swat him off...we've all been there.

The guy who volunteered to have it done to him on the show, says he would have confessed to anything after a few hours! I certainly would have appreciated it in the FIRST O.J. trial, wouldn't you?

Compared to someone pouring water down your throat, for a few minutes, I think it's a much more benign torture.

So...maybe we should reintroduce this mild mental torture to get some confessions out of some of these daily criminals we have to put up with everyday..instead of a lie detector test, Chinese water torture.

Especially people running for elections. Get them under the Chinese water torture for just one day, and make them confess to their real crimes and intentions...save us all some pain.

Okay, I'm kidding. It's really too outdated. We have real torture now, and it comes to us daily in the form of Katie Couric.

I myself, would prefer Chinese water torture to listening to Katie talk for a hour.. but that's me.