Nobody's Fool: Gov. David Paterson

Nobody's Fool:
Gov. David Paterson

New York's Gov. David Paterson has reported a serious national concern, and felt it was his patriotic duty to tell the press that yes, there has been, and continues to be, an attack of white zombies.

He is very concerned, and also very mad, that due to white zombies attacking him on every corner, he MIGHT not be re-elected. And that's just the start.

He warns that his very dear friend, Massachusetts Gov. Deva Patrick might also lose his re-election due to the vicious hatred of white zombies...

White zombies are ....EVERYWHERE!

But it gets worse.

He claims that the President, Mr. Obama, is also in grave danger. Because white zombies especially hate anyone playing around with their cat nip, and because Obama has threatened to take all zombies off the streets...at least those over seven...they are out to get him too.

Yes, it's been reported that the White Zombies are out to get Obama in a vast Right-Wing Zombie Conspiracy.

Mr. Obama ran to the church, who he is sure will bear him no false witness, and the church has promised to protect them all from the evil white zombies, just as long as they get on Obama's medical plan.

So, if you are black, and you see a white zombie coming around...the best thing to do is...

Go talk to your parakeet, and tell him Barney Frank would rather talk to his kitchen wall, and probably does.

(Okay, that makes no sense, but it's Friday night...what do you expect?