Sunday, July 25, 2010

TAKE Your Green Rice...

Nobody's Opinion: Here's the problem: You've got your high-class people who have been raised with money, have fine educations, go on family vacations every year, have stock portfolios before they are out of diapers along with American Express Cards practically glued to their palms...and then there's the rest of us.

Like the bad mojo between the blacks and the whites, you have the bad moo-moo between the rich and the poor. By poor I mean, you know you are poor, when you walk into a restaurant, and they take one look at you and put you in the very back table, only to visit you once every five hours...and forget to bring you the desert you ordered...hoping you'll leave.

I know, that happened to me today.

You see, after the ZOO, the "family" of nobodies (Four adults and two children) went to a high-price, upper/scale restaurant called "The Cheesecake Factory" which is misleading because you have to really suffer though the main course to get to anything that resembles cheesecake. (I'm sure SOME of the main courses are good, but, unless you have a rating system, you never know do you?)

We went to this restaurant because it was in an upper-scale mall, where my son thought his new car would be "safe." I wanted to tell him that there are probably more cars stolen out of upper-class malls than in downtown New York, but, who was I to spoil his fun?

So, there we were, walking up to the desk, where really pretty hostesses in black sexy dresses and high-heals leads us, (Okay, maybe we looked like the Waldo's in matching Walgreens Hawaii shirts, but HEY..) though a maze of marble floors and painted ceilings of angels, and big giant Roman Columns, for about five minutes to our destination.

First, let me say, It was NOT a good food day for me. Earlier in the afternoon, I'd eaten a "peach" from my local grocery store which had the fortitude of a rock. I was about to throw it outside for the birds, but I love them dearly. Two days from now, it would still be there, untouched, and just as hard as the day I threw it out, and some poor raccoon would have choked on it.

I would NOT do that to anyone.

So, when I finally got my order, and looked down at my plate, I rice. As I ate my "chicken enchilada" which looked more like pickled tomato sauce...I tried to stay away from it, and because it covered more than 3/4 of the plate, it wasn't easy.

NO one should have to eat green rice unless they are in shock, or they've had a lot of beer and it's St. Patty's Day and somebody slip it in your green potato salad.

I don't know how you feel about this, but this giving food and flowers colors outside the line of regular brain recognition is just GOT to stop. At this very moment my leftover green rice is growing green spidery molds next to my three day old steak. I do not plan to touch them, I want them to mate...I'm trying to understand how the rich think...really.

What is it with these fancy restaurants? Tell me, why would anyone in their right mind EAT some of the "fancy" dishes put on the menus. And the menus are starting to look much like the Obama Stimulus Bill, have you noticed? I found "chicken enchilada", and then lost it, and it took me 30 minutes to find it again.

And another thing: if you have small kids in a "fancy" restaurant, you might as well put a sign on your head that says.."warning." Little three-year-old Lauren sat next to me, and put my pieced earring in and out of my ear about ten times, combed my hair about twenty times, and then said "Your hair looked terrible!" about as loud as she could. After having gotten bored with that, she turned upside down and put her feet up into he air and counted her toes....Of course, her brother fared better... but at the end of the dinner after waiting a good two hours just to eat, he accidentally spilled a full glass of water.

My feelings...exactly. I wouldn't trade these two kids for any one of the "richer" snobby adults in that place. I was on their side.

Because at a poor person's restaurant, a waitress would have been over right away, with a smile to help mop it up. And the kids would have gotten crayons, and a "accidents happen." The service would have been faster because you see the poor actually take care of their own kids and KNOW how hard it is to keep two normal healthy kids with the energy of a flock of barracuda's sitting very quietly.

It was disturbing when we had to go and grab napkins for ourselves...and ask some fancy waiter to help.

I've played for rich people and poor, as a musician, and the poor ALWAYS tip better. (me included) Most rich are used to being "served." They, as Mel Gibson might say, feel they deserve you to service them, because, they are used to it.

And now, the super rich are gathering at the White House, in big mansions and castles, and they REALLY don't like the "poor." Oh sure, they go and mingle with the blacks in Haiti and African, but they don't eat with them. And they certainly don't want the "lower" classes in their restaurants, even if you do have the money. But, we all know...this is nothing new.

Did we get the shaft because we looked "poor?" Sure.

But waiters make one big mistake: you cannot tell a book by its cover, when it comes to who is going to tip you. Here we see a picture of Warren Buffet and Bill Gates eating at some kind of Denny's. If you didn't know who these guys were, you would HOPE they gave you a tip by the way they are dressed.

So, where do the two smartest rich guys on the planet go to get their food and great service? A fancy restaurant?

Something tells me, they wouldn't eat green rice either. We'd get along just fine. (smile!)



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

This is where being 'British' actually comes in handy, M'dear.

On arrival at said reception desk one engages in conversation with one of the other adults, pref male in this instance. You say, "I hope this place is suitable, Sir Robert. I have found the service excellent before".

I can guarantee that the nice girl with the high heels and cute bum will be charming and you will soon be surrounded by chaps in weskits and smiles. The food will be fine and personal service entertainmant will be provided for the little princesses.

It doesn't work with 'Milady' for some reason.

Americans Lerrrve status. They lerrrve British status for some strange reason. I am sure a fine gel like you can take off a posh accent for a few minutes so as to be overheard.

And you can always just look at the green food with a questioning eyebrow and have it whisked from sight in a trice with effuse apologies.

12:01 AM  

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