God Has Plans For You To Purchase This Book

God Has Plans For You to Purchase This Book

Nobody’s Opinion: I’m sure God gets a kick out of me, because I like to pretend I’m him sometimes, especially, when I’m on a plane and get to ride in the window seat. It’s so easy to pretend your God up there…looking down on all those little tiny moving cars. Anyway, I think I know what God was thinking when he made Doug Powers.

“He was thinking…those poor people down there are having such stressed-out lives. It’s about time they got a little relief…they have no clue why the world is so absurd: Why their leaders lie, cheat, and steal; why they have to work so hard just to be able to splurge for pizza on Friday night; why they must tolerate Madonna, Yoko Ono, Sponge Bob, Paris Hilton, presidential libraries, Super-Bowl half-time, taxes, long division, bad instructions, campaign slogans, colonoscopies, massive snow shoveling, and those damn pesky questions that all kids ask their parents that of course have no answers…Doug must write them a book.”

So he did. It’s called, “Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!”

I’m not one to question God. So I read it.

Now, we all remember our dads answering our dumb and annoying questions of “Why?” with “Because I said so.”

No, Doug has figured out a way for all fathers on the planet to put a little more punch and finality into any answer he can come up with, which is where his genius comes in.

Doug answers. “Because that’s the Way God Decided to Do It!”

Fathers everywhere will be thanking Doug forever for this much improved version because every kid will know that dad has a direct line to God. That old line “Because I said so,” only builds resentment and anger. Many a kid sabotaged mowing the lawn and taking out the trash with these words running through their heads.

In fact, these words can be so traumatic that years later, some of them drop out of school and play video games like “Hitman” all day with the words “Because I said so.” running over and over again in their cerebral cortex.

Doug’s answer will stop this. “Because that’s the way God decided to do it.” will be handed down from generation to generation and the world will be a better place.

Of course God knew this. He really is clever.

What I can’t figure out (one of God’s little mysteries; he does so like to mess with us) is: How in the world a comedy writer managed to create a work of art?

Let me explain; In most novels and theatrical productions, you start out, introduce the characters, move along the story, and then, SLAM… the BIG ending comes in. Everyone likes this.

Somehow Doug manages to take you from the first chapter…and then just when you think he can’t top that chapter…he does it again and again, each chapter taking you to the crescendo…and Voila! One is funnier than the next! It’s Beethoven’s Ode to Joy!

Amazing!

Doug is like a Dave Barry punched up, and there is absolutely no writer alive that can put the perfect comedic observation at just the right moment, like Doug. In fact, on his website everyday, (www.thttp://mensnewsdaily.com/category/blogwonks/doug-powers/) he never disappoints with this talent no matter what the subject is.

For example;

“Some environmentalists tell us that the ozone layer is now full of so many holes that it used to be mistaken for Robert Blake’s alibis.”

Or,
:
“Every time I see William Shatner I can only think that somebody somewhere is missing a toilet seat cover.”

How he comes up with this stuff…God only knows.

And then, there are many life’s lessons for us to use like:

“People who write instructions do it for legal protection, and not your protection.”
“For every action there’s an equal but opposite lawsuit.”

Yes, you will laugh, the stress will lift, and you will discover through the pages a man who has a great passion not only for his family and life, but a whole lot of good common sense that you can use when things just get too absurd.

Doug may not have all the answers, but he will always be there to answer the questions with expedient hilarity.

If you need a release from this crazy world you will go out and get this book, and hand it down to your kids because…

Well, that’s the way God planned it.

Nobody Knows; Just why Richard Clarke, Clinoton's old buddy, was consulting with Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed and selling weapons to him like F-16's. It really makes you feel secure that an old general of America is selling our planes to the country that produced the men that flew planes into the world trade center. I'm certainly glad that the highest structure around here is my local library.

Nobody Cares; Quite a few immigrants were fired from their meat packing jobs in Detriot when they went to one of the protest rallies. The boss told them they would be fired if they went, and they did. Now, they are trying to find pity for this horrible unjustice from the local community. Some of them are illegal, and have many children to raise. As we used to say..."here's a quarter."

Nobody Wins; Bill Clinton is now starting to help Hillary's run for the Presidency by suggesting that a man named Huckabee from Arkansas run against her on the Republican ticket. One wonders just what ol' Huckabee did for Bill in Arkansas. Anyway, he knows no one is going to want to hear...and now...President Huckabee. I think Bill is maybe losing his touch.

Nobody's Perfect: Today it was released that blacks and Hispanics cannot pass the math tests to become a cop in Washington D.C. White guys can pass it. Of course this is blatent discrimination. The last thing they need in D.C. is cops that can actually count how many bags of Cocaine the mayor can snort in one day. So therefore, all the men that actually failed the test will be hired in mass, and some of those white guys will just have to go work for private companies.