Nobody’s Opinion; Being as this is the 45th anniversary of the Bay of Pigs Non-Invasion, I was thinking about one of the few days in my life when perhaps my fathers’ habit of playing 36 holes of golf every Saturday and Sunday had finally done some serious sun damage.

I was just a kid when I walked up to my dad one day in 1962. He was digging a deep hole in our backyard, which in itself was crazy I thought because in Florida, go down too far and you hit water.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m digging an underground shelter.”

“Why?” I was not looking forward too eating beans with my brother for 3 weeks.

“Just in case we need it.”

He didn’t get far. He gave up after one day. Probably my mother told him it was a silly idea. But then again, my mother never had to pick up the remaining pieces of her best friends off the beaches of Guam and put them in a sack, after a night out with her buddies drinking Saki. A leg here, an arm there, mixed with human wrenching.

He must have hit water.

Nevertheless, when your own father, who had no fear of even the worst hurricanes, is afraid of annihilation, then you tend to be too, and the silly “get under your desk” drills at school did not help. Naples was and still is, just well within missile range. (Yes, unlike kids of today, I knew where Cuba was.) I dreamt of mushroom clouds for years afterwards.

I did remember my parents thinking JFK was a pretty boy idiot, and the Cuban Missile Crisis was a huge failure on his part. He was no Ike.

All these years later, we are now at the same moment in time when another missile crisis seems to exist. But no one seems to be alarmed, even at the mention of the U.S. testing bombs again outside of Las Vegas. As long as the slots keep working, it doesn’t matter. That’s how complacent we’ve all become. It’s much more important that we save up for the new I-pods. Or figure out just what did happen to that poor girl in Aruba?

Long ago, when war meant civilian casualties were not off limits to the United States, wars were winnable. The reason Japan is our friend today, as President Bush is so amazed at in every speech, is precisely because a democratic President developed, and his democratic successor used---nuclear weapons. (shhhh, don’t tell the liberals.)

Then we went in and rebuilt Japan in our own image so to speak, and the Japanese have taken their revenge in video games, electronics, and the destruction of our auto industry, simply because they were not allowed to have weapons for quite a while.

Now--- you can’t tell me that when Einstein was doing all that genius thinking, he didn’t know that someone could take his discoveries and build a bomb that would change all of mankind. Of course he did. But it didn’t stop him. He wanted the glory, and he figured it would be the other guys fault if they used his knowledge.

He tried to convince the world of his innocence, and the horror about what he had given to mankind…but men cannot help taking the advantage. They just can’t.

Blame it on Darwin and his survival of the fittest.

This same scenario will repeat itself in cloning. The men, who develop it for the benefit of mankind, will watch with sometimes pretended “horror” while designer genes are being patented and sold, altering the human race for all time…and every country that does not have it will want it.

Soon it will be “We can’t let Iran have the cloning patented sequences.”

I always thought it was ironic that Einstein basically gave the world the ability to create a bomb (even though he is cleared from any malevolent intentions), something that pits nation against nation in possible Armageddon for the planet, while Thomas Edison literally lights up the whole world, (not to mention movies, telephone, etc)---and guess who gets on the cover of Time magazine? The poor guy, who invented the internet, Tim Bemers-Lee, and gave it free to the world, will only be remembered in ancient computer instruction books and Ask Jeeves.

Sometimes I think the only reason the liberals like Einstein so much is that he taught at Princeton and Yale.

Now, when America is at war, it dares not kill any civilians in any country, even if our civilians are attacked without provocation. (The World Trade Center) What is O.K. for Islam is not O.K. for the United States.

This brings the advantage to Iran. Every one is so convinced that if Iran attacks Israel we will retaliate, but will we retaliate to win? Or will we retaliate by trying not to kill the innocent civilians, therefore setting ourselves up to lose?

And,what a propitious time it is for these Generals to launch their attack on Rumsfeld. They know that Rumsfeld means to win, because he sees this as a fight for civilization.

But winning doesn’t seem to be the option here---not upsetting Iran is. That’s the message that Clark, (who is still one of Clintons’ men) is telling everyone who will listen.

Once the nuclear bomb was invented, every country in the world wanted it, and thanks to Bill Clinton, they now all have it. President Bush was wise to go and give it to India after the fact. It seems it’s the, “It’s not fair you have one and we don’t.” logic, which when standing alone makes sense, except we all know men don’t always make sense. Some men are just plain loony. All it takes is one.

And in the end, right now, every leader in the world is just digging a hole.

Let’s hope they hit water. Or it’s the Bay of Pigs all over again.

Nobody’s Perfect: Professor Eric Pianka of the University of Texas thinks that 6.5 billion people on the earth is just too much to bear. He decided that 700 million would be perfect, and is hoping that the Ebola virus will mutate and do this necessary culling. For this he was awarded scientist of the year (by idiots), which means he is not the only guy in Texas who isn’t perfect.

Nobody Knows: if Tom Cruise was just kidding when he said he was going to eat his baby’s placenta and cord. I suggest they go on the new reality cooking program and make a contest out of who can actually make a delicious masterpiece out of it. I’m betting on Wolfgang.

Nobody Cares; General Motors spent 17 million for men who suffer E.D. (erectile dysfunction) Now-- all retiring CEO’s will get lifetime supplies of Viagra included in their severance packages. With all the money they are now getting on retirement, they will need it.