Passover the Scrolls

Nobody’s Opinion: How fast we have gone in a few days. From the invasion of millions of toilet bowl cleaners from the South, (if you listen to Hillary) to Iran threatening to nuke the United States and Israel, backed with the blessings of Russia, China, Venezuela, and Cuba. All through this, Newt Gingrich sees the opportunity of a lifetime---so he attacks the President along with the Democrats, because he is going to run for President. And some story about the rape of a stripper is on all channels.

Today is Passover, and we have passed over nothing.

The Catholic Church is practically tripping over their robes to seek redemption for all their past scandals by saving the poor of Mexico. The Democrats are tripping over cameras to claim their conversion to Jesus and the poor, while at the same time doing everything they possibly can to keep all their organizations from the ACLU to the communist party to demonize (one of their favorite words) Christ.

Then a document that’s been in some vault since the 1970’s is now being revealed as the real story of Judas and Jesus. From this vault it made its way to Yale University, and National Geographic who went on to make about 40 TV programs just in time for this upcoming Easter, to teach you to “rethink” your devotion to that fictional man called Jesus.

After all, they rewrite history every day. They are very good at it.

Like the bad news that always goes out on a Friday, they picked just the right time to “release” important new discoveries that have been around for decades. Right.

Only the biggest discovery since spell-check and all reporters on the earth for over thirty-six years decided to let the story wait.

There is more to this text besides Jesus and Judas. There are aliens in the text, but you might hear about that part on FOX.

According to this text, the original sin was when giant aliens came down out of their spaceships and starting having sex with the women on earth. They also liked to eat people, probably with some kind of alien ketchup.

God was not happy with this, so he flooded the earth.

Sometimes in life, what you see may not be real. What you hear may not be real either.

Maybe the politicians we see every day on our TV are really descendents from these aliens. The President is waiting for Jesus to help him. Bill Clinton is waiting for Judas.

I remember at the funeral of the last Pope, Clinton and Bush were having so much fun. You would have thought they were old friends on a golf course.

I was thinking at the time, “What’s wrong with this picture?”

I’m saying it now, “What’s wrong with this picture?”

You can’t believe anything anymore, or believe what’s real or what’s not, because history, facts and fiction are being rewritten daily.

The way things are going, we really might see a spaceship come down, and Clinton will introduce the first alien to visit earth, who will be red with horns and a long tale. After all, Nostradamus was not the only prophet.

This text you will be hearing about all this week on the news, with Jesus and Judas, was part of the Dead Sea Scrolls, which also had some other fun stories.

Like an earth woman giving birth to a child about as tall as a five-story house, who was fathered by one of these “angel” giants, who ate people.

Why they just didn’t play basketball was beyond me.

And with Iran getting all heated up to start WWIII, it might be a good thing if they returned and ate a few Iranians.

Also, the story of the gold from the sacred temple of Jerusalem was also in this cave where the Dead Sea Scrolls wer found…the Scrolls gave directions to it.

So far, no one has claimed they found it yet.

There is one point that you definitely won’t hear…Jesus accordingly said to Judas; “In the last day, they will curse your ascent.”

Hey, I’m cursing now.

Some experts on religious scrolls think this scroll is a decoy.

Some nobody thinks this story is a decoy, because in the real world
It’s the real saints and devils who want you to passover the truth.

Nobody’s Perfect; Seems Brittany Spears, the woman who likes to drive with her baby in her lap, has admitted that her baby got dropped by his nanny. It’s nice to know that Brittany wants to keep her stellar reputation for being a sensible adult up-to-par.

Nobody’s Knows: If the chicken flu is being used as a tool to get rid of all the small chicken farms in the world, in order for the big companies to have a monopoly. I think I’ll buy a few and put them in the back yard.