The Fashion of the Insane and Big Bunny Spies

Nobody’s Opinion: What a day this was. I spent the day, like a good citizen, shopping for the perfect pillow. I was quite happy shopping for this pillow, the perfect image of it being held in my mind in glorious digital color. But I wanted a bright red pillow and bright red is just not “in” style right now. So, I came home with no pillow. And let me tell you, I looked at hundreds of pillows. You would have thought there would be just one red one, but no, at least 75% of them were downright ugly.

I’ve had this happen before. Once, I wanted to buy sexy white slippers with feathers on the top, to go with my special nightgown for my wedding night. (Sorry guys, it’s a girl thing.) And I wanted a white suit for my honeymoon. Well, I searched for a whole year…but no luck.

And of course, three years later, white suits and frilly white slippers with white fluffy feathers on top were everywhere.

There is a point to this…hold on. The reason for this is that every year, the elites in fashion get together and decides what “colors” are going to be fashionable for that spring or year. You have no choice. If Martha Stewart wants you in pink and yellow, that’s what you’ll have to like. I can’t stand her stuff. Lots of people like her, but it’s just not my taste. All those pucky yellows, and little girly pinks and pea soup greens… yuk. I actually get a little nauseated if I have to pass through the kitchen towels.

I have been known to pass out in the curtain sections.

Anyway, feeling bad for wasting so much time looking for a pillow, I thought I'd turn on the radio and the television. I was looking for meaningful news; something to make me feel better. I was looking for sanity in the human condition. I was craving some logical and optimistic news.

I’ve got bad news; sanity was nowhere to be found. “Sanity” is not in style this year.

First off, President Bush looked very depressed standing next to his new general of the CIA. He has a hard time faking his emotions. He might be smiling, but you can look in his eyes and see the utter despair. He looked like he had just lost his first born. Not good.

I don’t even want to know what is bothering him. Somehow, I don’t think it’s the Democrats. The message here is: something terrible is coming our way, and we need a general to take care of it. Your style this year is doom and gloom.

Then, the Iranian President writes a letter to President Bush which says he would like “new solutions for getting our of international problems and current fragile situations of the world.”

Obviously this was really written by John Kerry, because this guy has never been known to say a diplomatic sentence to anyone. His style is more like; “You touch this country, and I will wipe Israel off the map. And then I will take you down.” Just a few days before he was arguing with a rich Sheik over what the name of the Persian Gulf should be. The Sheik wanted to rename it of course, the Arabian Gulf. Two grown men, arguing over a name---more insanity.

Then the Vice Premier of Israel Shimon Peres says to the Iranian madman; “Right back at ya.” or the actual quote was “Iran can also be wiped of the map.”

But then, after he says this, he wants the United States to “lead the action.’ Which means--- go ahead, you nuke him. I’m not going to start WWIII. He too was frothing with misery. His face said it all---the style of the year was nuclear war. More insanity.

When I was reading that Fox’s Rupert Murdoch was going to give a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton, I stared to feel like I was back in the pillow aisle at K-Mart. This defies all reasoning. Why does she have to be President? Why is he backing her?

The picture of Rupert looked like a man who was just beaten by a giant bunny. He too looked incredibly sad. Once again--- not good. Some elites who design the world are telling us that they have picked Hillary to be the style in 2008, and you’d better like it no matter how insane it may appear.

Jeb Bush comes out and says that Katherine Harris, the woman who probably had just as much to do with his brother becoming President as the Supreme Court, would not be elected. He has no faith in her at all. What? This message is that all the people who voted for the Republican Party and their principles are being abandoned. We are just not in style anymore. Katherine Harris had the audacity to actually enforce the laws, a big no-no now in our government. She will have to take her eye-makeup and leave.

A Republican in Massachusetts helped pass the law that if you don’t have insurance you will be fined over a thousand dollars. He has started Hillary’s healthcare. Insanity is always fashionable in Ted Kennedy’s state, especially when the Kennedy’s decide to drive their cars.

Tony Blair we learn, has changed his mind about fighting anymore. He is going to step down soon. Tony, who has been the United States' only true friend in the Iraq war, is being told he is no longer fashionable.

He is about as out-of-style as your mother’s bedroom slippers.

Clinton is working on making Aids testing mandatory for all people in the United States. If you just visit an emergency room or go in for a check-up, you will be tested. They have just got to get that needle in you somehow, and if that doesn’t do it, then scary movies and hour by hour warning against the bird flu will get you running for the needle.

We find out today that North Korea is developing the bird flu as a weapon. One fifth of the earth population will die. You will die of Aids, or the bird flu. Fear is in even bigger fashion than lying.

Congress will not get to immigration this year. Each party will blame the other. But, we will see more commercials with Spanish woman dating white guys, and vice versa to get us conditioned to accept the decisions that they say they have NOT made, which of course was decided long ago.

The Spanish people are in very high fashion this year. American fashion is way out. You might never see it again. It is going out of style just like the paisley shirt.

And in the middle of “Medium” tonight we saw more “fashion” with propaganda for all sick people to accept the loveliness of death. Kelsey Grammer, who played death, told us all how unfashionable it was to fight death, because if you just died it was a “win-win” situation.

Good thing I was lying down.

OK…the whole world has gone insane. The Republicans are doing whatever the Democrats want.

What are the mathematical possibilities of all of them acting completely coo-coo at the same time?

The Democrats are lining up to impeach President Bush, and they want the fashionable Powell back to take Rumfeld’s job. They want the White House records of visitors.

Gee, I would have like to see that list when Clinton was President. Wouldn’t you? I have a feeling they will say that a giant bunny was allowed to stay in the Lincoln bedroom, and Carl Rove, along with Dick Cheny, put top-secret information into his bunny collar, and the bunny was leaked out. A woman’s life was put in jeopardy, because of that bunny, putting all of us at risk for…wait, they will think of something. The bunny is now in jail.

So sanity and the color red is out of style this year. I can deal with the red pillow loss, but the loss of any sanity in the world is much harder to bear.

Nobody’s Perfect: Mission Impossible the repeated repeat, did not have a great opening. So what? Everyone is acting like it’s the biggest news of the century. Tom Hanks last three films drew maybe the population of Cedar Rapids Iowa, but no one said a thing about his flops. The news media is really out to get Tom, and I have a feeling that it was because he didn’t want to work for the United Nations. Good enough reason for me to go see it. Did you notice that nobody said it wasn’t any good, just that it didn’t do as well as expected? Mmmmm

Nobody Cares; I still don’t understand why no one is outrages at Bill Clinton having the power to change things like... if we can drink soda. And now he will get mandatory testing for aids. Last time I looked, aids was not an epidemic here.

Nobody Knows; Just why they put all the good programs on very late at night when everyone is sleeping.