The Mayo Highway: Democrats Rushing to Vote

Nobody’s Opinion; Everybody today was talking about poor Representative Patrick Kennedy. One reporter that went to school with him was saying how he was just the “nicest” guy you’d ever want to meet, the sweetest person around.

Sure, we’d love to meet him, but the lesson here is: don’t ever get in a car with a Kennedy, unless of course you’re an Islamic fanatic that want's to blow the world up.

We’ll make an exception to you.

In fact, if the Kennedy’s want to stop torture, I suggest we get the worst of the Islamic prisoners out of Guantanamo Bay, bring them up to the Kennedy compound, and handcuff them to all the Kennedy’ cars.

It’s one thing to be from a highly neurotic and dysfunctional family. It’s another thing to lie about it, and consider that it’s your privilege to lie, because you don’t have to go to jail or get arrested---you’re special.

He won’t admit to being drunk…but he’ll go away to the Mayo Clinic for a couple of days, and then go hide somewhere for two weeks and play golf, while we have to be bombarded with show after stupid show on painkiller addiction, sleeping pill addiction, depression, the effects of Ambien on clueless and rich Patrick, and most importantly, what a brave, brave man he is for coming out and going into a clinic. I’m already nauseated just thinking about it.

He’d been to the clinics before. It didn’t take. A couple of weeks ago he said a hammerhead shark jumped up and hit him. Guess he was asleep while he was reeling him in. Painkillers were making him numb to the attack. He didn’t feel a thing.

Painkillers? Why was he in pain? Couldn’t get the radio off Rush Limbaugh?

First it was painkillers, and then it was sleeping pills. The cover up was having trouble covering itself up. At least he didn’t try to catch a football skiing down a mountain, and for that redeeming redemption he is not going to quit his job as your representative because he is fighting for YOU…sound familiar?

He did manage to miss the police car, and he didn’t kill anyone, so in that respect he is either luckier than or not as good as the rest of the Kennedy clan at picking up women. According to the police report, which doesn’t exist, he was depressed and intoxicated on Ambien. Please. Ambien mixed with several gallons of Louis XIV.

Oh…we’re not supposed to speculate you say? He could be telling the truth you say? Well, if he was telling the truth, then he has no addiction and there would be no need for him to go to the Mayo clinic. He just doesn’t want the police record and the DWI. We all know that, yet we are suppose to play along, because we are just nobody’s

And if he is bi-polar, than he would be on something different than Ambien.

When are these politicians going to learn that if they would just tell the truth, they would be in a lot less trouble?

Like “I really did have sex with that Monica Lewinsky. Lots of times. I’m sorry. Hillary and I just got married to be Presidents. She knows I mess around and could care less.”

Or “Yes, I was drunk, I always feel like drinking. My whole family drinks. We’re a family of alcoholics and drug addicts, but we still get the work done for the progressive party.”

Or “I am bi-polar and I shouldn’t have been drinking. I should have had my lights on. I was not going to vote like I said initially. I am going to get help right away. And by the way, my father should come with me.”

He would probably be able to run for President.

Of course, more than one person noted that with a father like Ted Kennedy, you had to feel sorry for him. His father couldn’t remember running his car off the road either,
But he never went into the Mayo Clinic. No, Ted had such a great P.R. team; he actually had some people at the time feeling sorry for him.

Some people felt sorry for Moussaoui.

This feeling sorry for people is getting old. Especially when they tell bold-face lies to our faces, and defy our intelligence. The biggest mistake Patrick made was taking his lawyer’s advice and saying “I did not ask for special consideration.”


Well of course he didn’t--he didn’t have to. His father is one of the most powerful senators ever to reign in the country, and he’s a complete wack-o, and has hurt America so badly he should be deported to Castro. Anyone with any sense knows that. Yet, he stays in power, and gets his son elected and put on the House Appropriations committee… the committee that decides how to divide and spend all the taxes they take out of our pockets daily. Not a committee that you will see on C-Span anytime soon.

Well, now that I’ve picked on the poor boy, if he does suffer from depression, I hope he gets better before he kills himself. Even the rich can suffer terribly.

But, being depressed doesn’t excuse him from being an elite, privileged and spoiled kid of a powerful United States Senator and above the law.

And that’s the trouble with our country. Every single one of those guys in Washington D.C. is above the law…and they know it. They fixed the rules.

And they know there is nothing we can do about it.

Nobody’s Perfect; Condoleezza Rice taught a class at Stanford called, “The Politics of the Elites.” Now that she is one of the elites, she has forgotten all her lectures.

Nobody Wins; The Bush administration seems to be playing good cop, bad cop. When asked about the singing of the national anthem in Spanish President Bush said everyone should learn it in English. Good cop.

Then Condoleezza Rice said she saw nothing wrong with people singing it in Spanish and Laura Bush agreed. Bad Cops. (Actually President has sung it in Spanish to win votes.) Another way to please all the people all of the time.

Nobody Cares; China can make rain. It has been fooling with the weather for years. Nobody seems to care what this actually means. The Chinese will just hit us with tornadoes and hurricanes. Hey, you think they haven’t thought about it? Do you think we haven't either?

Nobody Knows; Fidel Castro is secretly in love with Queen Elizabeth. (Just kidding) It’s really late, and I can’t remember actually getting out of bed, and coming to turn on the computer. I plan to admit myself into the neighborhood clinic for memory rehabilitation tomorrow, right after I take some Ambien.