The Hot Dog At High Noon

Nobody’s Opinion: It’s almost high noon for Bill Clinton. On Monday last, April the 24th, Bill and Hillary Clinton unveiled yet another portrait of themselves in the Old Castle building of the Smithsonian. (Much apologizes to John Quincy Adams, the President who kept the greedy hands of Congress off the donated money for the Smithsonian.)

And you can tell from first glance that by the look on Bill’s face in his portrait and his arrogant stance that he is still mad…and he means business. It looks as if he is saying “You had NO RIGHT to impeach me…you Republicans (and all you red state hicks), and you will see that I will win (notice the victory sign on the two fingers clutching his pockets) because China is my friend now (notice the Chinese Vase off his right shoulder) and I will be remembered in history as the greatest President that America ever had.

Now, if your picture was going into the Smithsonian for all time as an America President, wouldn’t you want to put something American in the background?

I couldn’t make out the picture above the fireplace. I’m surprised it wasn’t Gary Cooper.

For an instance I thought the fireplace in the portrait was the one in the state Dining Room at the White House where John Adams had carved in the mantle;

“I pray Heaven to bestow the best of blessings on this house and all that shall hereafter inhibit it. May none but honest and wise men ever rule under this roof.”

But it was the Oval Office. If it had been in the White House Dining Room, old Bill might have burst into flames instead of falling off some chair. (He fell off a chair at the event.)

In his book “My Life”, he mentions how “High Noon” was his favorite movie, because he could identify with the hero who stood all alone against the bad guys. No townspeople would join in to help him fight, he was alone.

Be sure, it’s high noon for anyone who crosses Bill Clinton, just ask his old girlfriends and all the people who have worked for him that he got rid of. (Well, you can’t ask the 60 or so dead ones, but Monica is still with us.)

And Bill has shown a relentless drive to the promotion of himself and his place in history. No doubt some day he will be on the side of Mt Rushmore, in place of George. Some plane will crash into his face---it will need repair.

That’s probably the biggest portrait ever made of a President. He doesn’t want you to notice that rather blatant show of himself so he says in his “oh gosh” way, “The size of past presidents portraits seems to indicate an almost inverse relationship to their importance to the country.” Meaning his portrait is big--- he is insignificant compared to others. By this reasoning, then so is George Washington and JFK.

Also notice that Hillary’s picture (which is a real joke and looks nothing like her) is being promoted by them as a “renaissance” piece. They want you to think her upcoming presidency will bring a new “renaissance” for America and the world. The renaissance “suits her” said Bill. It is mentioned that the portrait looks like a Susan B. Anthony quarter, which is a clue that someday that portrait will appear on a gold coin. How clever to do her in profile…the mints will be ready.

If it’s another ploy to get the population to go cashless, it just might work.

Bill Clinton is the quintessential hot dog. He can’t stop talking about himself, and all that he has done, or is going to do for the world. He is such a hot dog he gets his friends to pay for his legal bills, his houses, his hotel rooms, his furniture, his girl friends, and his Presidential portraits. Expect at least one a year.

At the gathering, it was reported that he went on to highlight the success of his presidency. In fact, Bill will highlight the success of his presidency at every chance. He did it at Martin Luther King’s funeral, at the Kerry Democratic Party nomination, at Wellstone’s funeral; at Canahan’s funeral (He loves funerals) He did it at the Texas Book Fair. He has a special school set up to promote himself, and C-Span always puts on his “Clinton was the greatest president alive conferences” where all his x-cabinet members and world leaders show up to keep on rewriting his history.

Clinton has boatloads of comedians and political pundits writing book upon book, even including mandatory American Political books for all students, where he is mentioned and shown in every other chapter.

Yes, Clinton---the ultimate big hot hound dog.

I just hope that those two hot fingers aren’t signaling to al-Qaida…because then high noon will certainly be here. And unlike Gary Cooper, it will be Clinton that will leave us hanging. He will be somewhere else in the world when we are attacked, eating a big hot dog, smothered in Heinz ketchup.

Nobody’s Perfect; Mick Jagger will not give up the posh hotel room in Austria for President Bush. Manners are not Mick Jagger forte. Just ask Jerry Hall, who had four kids of his kids before he married her, and then had a child by another woman while he was married to her. If I were Bush, next time he comes into the country, I’d bust him for being ugly.

Nobody Knows: It was reported with excitement today that black holes are incredible sources for energy, as if we were gonna buzz right up there and tap into them. Now, when your standing at the pump and thinking about black holes, your mind can go your gas tax money that is going into the black hole of Congress.

Nobody Cares: Dan Rather was rather snippy in wishing Katie Couric best wishes today on taking his place on CBS. He was snubbed at the Annual Association of Broadcasters, where Peter Jennings and Tom Brokaw were honored. I think he might be good on American Idol…as a judge. He would do well.

That’s just a nobody’s opinion…see you tomorrow.