The Good News and the Bad News of President Hu Jintao

The Good News: President Bush is only going to give the little guy lunch. He is not going to throw a big fancy Karaoke party and pretend he likes the guy.
The Bad News: President Hu Jintao could care less. His real intentions for this trip are to get more of America’s best minds and science to come over to his country and get out of the United States. Microsoft will split up its operations between India and China therefore giving China the best run computer systems in the world, and get everyone over there wired. Boeing will give them technology and 2,600 new 737s to turn into military bombers, (with the latest software from Microsoft), and Yale University will train all the best minds that Chinese can muster to take us over, and that’s quite a few.

The Good News; China will eventually take over Yale and Harvard; they are liberals/ socialists incubators and we don’t need them. Because Yale has been given permission to trade in domestic stock in China in return for all those future Chinese minds they are going to train, many Yale elites’ retirement packages will make the big oil CEOs look like they worked at McDonalds.
The Bad News; Most of the other universities in the United States will continue to harbor the intellectual’s liberal/socialists.

The Good News: China will not allow The New York Times, the Washington Post, or American Idol to be shown on the internet, BUT the big CEO’s don’t care because they just love dealing with a dictator. Jeffery Immelt of G.E. said it best; “They are so much easier than a democracy, where everyone has to debate everything. It’s great!”
The Bad News; Yahoo and Google will still be mandated to find prison bait by giving over all the sites the internet traitors have visited to The Republic. (Now, be careful, not the United States Republic, the China Republic.)

The Good News; Some of these internet “dissidents” will be able to sell their “donated:” organs to sick people all over the world for transplants. Everyone will benefit…the Japanese already are sworn never to attack China again for this gratitude.
The Bad News; Like everything else, China will be the world’s largest producer of human organs, thereby making them richer than they are, with more money to spend on nanotechnology research, which will be the next weapon of all mass destruction, thereby fulfilling Bill Clintons favorite prophesy “China will be the big dog on the block, and I will be their little dog.”

The Good News; Starbucks is going to go over and spread cappuccino to 1.6 billion more customers. Howard Schultz can move to the moon if he wants.
The Bad News; This is going to wire the Chinese to work three times as fast to out-produced the United States.

The Good News; The American Congress blocked the Chinese from buying up one of the United States biggest Oil companies last year...
The Bad News; Jimmy Carter sold them the Panama Canal, Bill Clinton sold them a big port at Long Beach and got them PNTR (Pretty Nice Trade Raping) at the United Nations, and our whole U.S. Congress (and Bush) just let them take our shipping ports in the Bahamas, leaving them to inspect all incoming containers for nuclear weapons.

The Good News: Bush has already presented Hu Jintao with a nice gift---
The Bad News: China will not be held responsible for selling nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons (as it already has and continues to do so) to Iran, Russian, North Koreas, the Taliban, bin Laden, and just about anyone who is the enemy of the United States. Ted Kennedy already has his bird flu virus on order.

The Good News: Our big companies like Disney, Wal-Mart, GE, Boeing, Goldman Sachs, and many more will get into the Chinese market to sell their stuff.
The Bad News: Lots of our people will have to move to China and learn Chinese just to feed their families. And since there are already 3,000 Chinese companies here in the United States working and manufacturing for the Chinese Army, there will soon be more, the Mexicans will finally get a raise and make the rest of us learn Spanish.

The Good News: When Hu Jintao became General Secretary of the Communist Party on March 15, 2003, he gave this speech;

“Democracy is the common pursuit of mankind and all countries must earnestly protect the democratic rights of the people. In the past twenty years and more, since China embarked on the road of reform and opening up, we have moved steadfastly to promote political restructuring and vigorously build democratic politics under socialism.”

The Bad News: I think Bill Clinton gave this same speech at his first address.

The Good News; Steven Spielberg, an American Icon, is going to direct and produce the 2008 beginning and ending Olympics ceremonies.
The Bad News; Yoko Ono will probably actually sing this time.

The Good News; When China takes over, the taxpayer won’t have to support as many illegal aliens because we will have the one child per family rule. The children in the schools will all wear uniforms.
The Bad News; The Mayor of Los Angeles is soon going to mandate school uniforms.The Clintons have been trying to get it done introduced for years, has done so in many so many schools, and still our kids remain clueless.

I know, you’ve had enough, I could have gone on and on, but blogs are supposed to be short. So just one more;

Good News: President Hu Jintao takes a good picture--- here’s one with Bill Clinton.
The Bad News: I actually couldn’t find one of Bill Clinton and President Hu Jintao anywhere on major search engines, so I had to use this one. It’s really Bill. Remember when he hurt his knee when he was drunk? No, I mean he was at Greg Norman’s house and tripped on his golf course? No…Hillary tripped him on his way out of the Lincoln bedroom one night? No…

China is NOT the only country who censors the internet, and that’s not good.