Monday, May 15, 2006

Housework, Ha-Ha's, and Mother Angels



Nobody’s Opinion; This weekend’s news was a lot of laughs. I don’t know about you, but weekends are usually filled with so much “work around the house” stuff, that you are sometimes glad to go back to work just to relax.

So, while I was cutting my husband’s hair and hoping he doesn’t look behind his head anytime soon, listening to the radio while putting ant poison on around the sink, picking up bits of my plastic five dollar sandals that my puppy thoroughly enjoyed (last week it was my ear cell phone piece, right now, I think she’s eating my rattan table)---I go from room to room and listen, watch or read whatever happens to be in that room while I’m cleaning. Hey, works for me. The last thing I want to do when I’m folding a towel is actually have nothing on my mind but how to fold a towel.

So there I was…cutting my husband’s hair, and the more popular person in the White House, Laura Bush, was being interviewed on FOX saying that the low poll ratings on her husband are nonsense, and aren’t true. Why, she goes all over the country and people ask her to tell her husband to-- “Stay the Course.” Ha, ha-ha. What course is that?

Right. Just which American people did she talk to? Were they gardening? And did the White House writers ask Mel Gibson if they could borrow his patriotic slogans? I started laughing at this comment, which left a bald spot in the back of my husband’s left ear. Shsssss, don’t tell him. (Actually I like Laura Bush very much, no matter what she says.)

Somewhere in the middle of the kitchen, while I was smashing ants, I either read or heard Newt Gingrich say “I’m not ruling out running. Hillary is beatable.” Ha, ha, ha ha…

Newt, the great leader of 1994, who lead a revolution to get term-limits, fix the budget, and put vast limits on governmental power, takes over the House, and then….

Decided he would do nothing. Then he was caught having an affair. Ha.

Well once Newt got to the top, he chickened out…especially on term limits. When push came to shove during the government shutdown, the great Republican leaders left town. They were no longer for term limits. They wanted to be just like Ted Kennedy and stay forever despite threats of windmills and that is why we will keep getting laughs from the same old faces. Ha-ha.

I’m afraid I put the ant poison on just a little too thick at that laugh. Newt talks a great game, but so did President Bush. Remember that when he runs for President. He cracks me up.

I think I was taking a break (one must do that when cleaning or else your brain goes into warp mode) and then read another global leader statement by Bubba Clinton, while he was with his new sidekick, Daddy Bush, pandering to poor students with a commencement speech at Tulane University.

“It’s a positive manifestation of the most important fact of your lives,--- that you give me complete and undivided devotion and worship me forever, and phone numbers of all your old girlfriends…”

No, that’s not what he said--- he said “the most important fact is the interdependence of human beings on this planet.”

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha, ha ha,

Right, we can be interdependent on each other, as long as we are completely dependent on Bill Clinton’s New World Order government, coming sooner than you think. To which Ellen Degeneras replied “Remember to exfoliate, moisturize, exerercise, and floss.” Which is exactly what I would have done after hearing Bill Clinton make a speech.

I was outside feeding the birds(with earphones on) and I hear CNN report that Clinton is more honest than President Bush.

Survey shows---Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha, ha, ha, ha! While thinking of this one, I was laughing so hard, I manage to put enough feed out for at least a flock of geese, fourteen raccoons, twenty squirrels, and any rat that might dare to have enough guts to come back into my yard.

Then comes the dirty laundry, not my favorite thing, because I have lint, like Twister had cows, it’s on everything, even the socks. I open up the dryer and yell "We got lint!." It comes from another parallel universe and I have to pick it off by hand. So into my head come the lines;

“One of the misconceptions about the Democratic Party is that we’re godless, and that we don’t have any values. We want fewer abortions and family planning.” Ok...the clothes would have to wait…I had to sit down and laugh at this one. Howard Dean is the new Rodney Dangerfield, except I had a lot more respect for Dangerfield. Come on…tell us the truth, Dean worked with Robin Williams in New York. They’ve hidden the fact that he was a night club comedian at one time. That explains the weird faces.

By this time, I was falling behind. I had to get ready for mother’s day brunch, and that’s a chore in itself. When I heard that they were selling oxygen in Japan at the 7-eleven, I’m afraid the hot rollers started to melt into the floor. By now, it was beyond belief that anything could be any funnier. I had to wait for the curlers to lose heat then I read that when representative Tancredo told Karl Rove that the President should pay attention to the border issue, Karl told him he’d never be invited back to the White House again.

I stopped laughing…hey, that’s OUR house. I ran out of Ha-ha’s but, good thing, it was time for the one day of the year that everyone has to be nice to you. (if you’re a mother)

It’s the only day that your family actually has to laugh when you don’t get the house cleaned and their favorite shirt ironed: or accidentally made a bald spot in their head.

Besides, if my husband finds out I will just laugh and make an exact replica on the other side. Ha Ha, Ha Ha.

Nobody’s Knows; Just a thought on mother’s day, and this one is a sad one. Today, I met with my brother and his wife at a restaurant for mother’s day dinner. And even though this day was a horribly sad day for my sister-in-law, you would have never known it. She was just as bubbly and pretty as she always is.

You see, they lost their only child, their son Justin. He died when he was just a little over a year old. The doctors told them he would only live 2 weeks. They had to live with the knowledge that he could die any minute.

He was the most precious child, and he would coo, and coo and talk to his momma…truly, I remember watching her holding her little son and she looked like a Modonna—she literally glowed with light-- the picture of love was never so pure. It’s the most beautiful of visions, mother and child, and artists have tried to capture the moment for centuries, but very few do.

Of course, the pain of his passing was so immense that they never quite got over it. I’ve never seen such love on a baby’s face as little baby Justin had for his mother. It was as if he knew he wouldn’t be here long and just wanted her to know how MUCH he loved her. It was a miracle how he would coo for hours at her, even though he was in such pain. Every waking minute of his little life he was talking to her. Every waking second.

There are so many moms in the world that lose children, to rare illnesses, to cancers, to drunk drivers, to suicides, and to war. Today, most of these mothers have no idea how they will make it through the day. If they have other children, they just have to bear up, But being without your child on mother’s day, for whatever reason is just as tough as it will ever get.

To me, if you want to know who are strongest and bravest of the human race, besides our soldiers, it is the mother’s who have lost a child.

And even though we may not be able to imagine their pain and the cross they bear, we can certainly remember them and say a prayer for them every single mother’s day.

Life it too precious not to.

Nobody’s Perfect; OK…I’m not good at cutting hair. But at least I didn’t hold up a whole airport in Air Force One while getting one.

Nobody Cares: Cnn also announced that Clinton “out-performed” Bush. Ha, ha ,ha.
Yes, he out-performed him in how many ways you thrill a woman with a cigar. Ha.

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