The Puritan Left

Nobody’s Opinion; Lately, the democrats have been very concerned about how they are going to get the religious vote. They know by their “polls” that religion and values are still very important among Americans, and now, they have all those religious Mexicans to cope with. The Clintons are doing a lot of funerals, and the pundits are starting to announce that “Hey, I may be a democrat, believe in gay marriage, abortions, dirty politics, and adultery, but that doesn’t mean I’m not religious!” Hillary even compared the poor immigrants to Jesus trying to just get over the border to live, and to work.

How touching. To hear Hillary, after all this time, have to say the word “Jesus.”

Even Howard Dean is trying to get everyone to get on this band-wagon.

But Al Gore is worried about “the extreme radical religious extreme right." They are going to have a fine line to walk.

This election year, is going to be a rough one for them. After all, most democrats have always shown that they think Ten Commandments, along with the Constitution, are outdated.

But hey, I think I’ll help them out.

If you thought this last year was pretty bleak, and all the bad news came floating up to the top of the heap, like acid reflexes, then I have good news for you. If you go to bed at night wondering about such things as whether the Statue of Liberty will be there in the morning, what cave you might drive to when the nukes hit... if you worry that Madonna might fall off her giant cross during one of her performances and break her neck…let me comfort you with this new revelation supplied to me by none other than our country’s favorite old Puritan guy, John Winthrop, of the Massachusetts Bay Colony. (Not to be confused with the Massachusetts Gay Colony)

The good news...liberals are true Christians. And yes, now is the time for all the liberals to come out of the closet and admit it...they are Jesus’ true children. According to John (and he should know) they no longer have to hide this new revelation from fear of being ostracized at next year’s Oscars. In fact, deep under those angry scowls for anything Republican beat the hearts of true Puritans. Yes, Christ is alive and well in all the liberals, they just don’t know it yet! He is working behind the scenes! They are, the innocent babes of Puritans...the Republicans and the Democrats can join together, because, they really do agree! We just have to tell them. Yes, the liberal mind is really Christian.....who would have guessed? You don’t believe it? Impossible? Well, let’s just think about this.

Before you think I’ve flipped out, let me back this up with logic that they are not even aware of.
(Logic not being their forte) I suggest that they think hard about this, because the last thing a liberal wants to be called is anywhere near religious. (Unless it’s two days before an election) But, may I refer you to the teachings of that most religious of founding people sects...the Puritans.

Jesus taught us to love our enemies “If thine enemy hunger, feed him: love your enemies: do good to them that hate you.” (Matt. 5; 44)

Now I ask you, does this not sound like every liberal you know? Have they not all spoken this with fervent passion? Oh yes, all the liberals want to feed the world...... Africa, Bangladesh, India, and especially Mexico. They follow their lord Jesus to the word.

When Iran had an earthquake, George Bush, who is a devote Christian, sent over relief, tons of money, and medical help to the victims. This was one of his “axis of evil” nations. He is doing just what the liberals would do. I didn’t hear any liberal praising that effort, did you?

But think again---have not the liberals loved our enemies? Have they not stuck up for the very ones who have attack us? Have not they gone head over heals to protect anyone that has hurt us? And have they not practiced “Turn the other cheek?” If your enemy smites you and destroys two of your buildings, how wrong it would be to attack back. Violence just breeds violence they say.
They are always complaining about how we rednecks take the Bible too literally, well here is proof that they do too. They follow Jesus’ words religiously, and even expand on it. They love our enemies so much they are willing to sacrifice a whole nation of people so that they can feel good about themselves. Jesus would be proud.

Such pure hearts deserve Jesus’ love .How hard it must be to live in secret, to practice Jesus’ extreme philosophies, and to remain faithful to the Lord without anyone knowing it.

The continual preaching of this liberal concept of “no self defense”: by not doing anything to protect ourselves, by not attacking Iraq, by never reacting to whatever any nation does to us, but loving the enemies without and within... this concept is practiced as well as any early Quakers of old. In fact, democrat’s love the enemy so much they are willing outlaw all our guns and nuclear weapons, and let us be completed annihilated. After all, they can then blame it on Bush, and when the elites are rushed off to the underground bunkers, they can put another Democrat in power. Never mind that there won’t be many people left to control. The important thing is they do what is right by Jesus.... and Paul Newman will still have his mountains.

And these good Christians liberals go even farther then the Christian Republicans. They are surely the very good, the holy...the wise and benevolent.

“There is a time when a Christian must sell all, and give to the poor,” quoted Mr. Winthrop. All the liberals go for this one. The basis for communism. Interesting don’t you think? A political philosophy born out of the Christian teachings.

Just as long as it’s not their money, the rich liberal elite want to distribute it all. I still have visions of Secretary O’Neill taking that old rock musician, Bono, on a trip to Africa. Bono, who is himself trying to impress Jesus, with forgiving all debts to Africa and any nation...and we (the United States citizens) should foot the bill.

Of course Bush has asked for the forgiving of debt in Iraq. So why is this Christian behavior good for Africa, but not for Iraq? Liberals need to start carrying around the Bible because it seems they tend to forget. (Maybe that also explains why they want to hurry up with stem cell research; they seem to have many memory problems)

The thought here is that if you are rich and you give your money to the poor, you surely will be rewarded in Heaven. Christian men everywhere are wondering how they got cheated out of the virgins of Islam.

“We must be willing to rid ourselves of our excesses to supply others necessities “said Winthrop. The United States is the most Christian giving and generous nation in the world. We give billions to every nation in the world, and have done so for quite awhile. Now Hillary, Bill, Bono, and all the liberals want us to give more--- and give up our sovereignty to the UN so that we can be really good Christens and go to heaven

In fact, I think once these liberals find out that Jesus has been their philosophy all along, they will rush to Iraq and give all their great fortunes to the poor, just as they preach .Hillary and Bill will give all the millions in their off-shore accounts to feeding the poor children of Africa. After all, they could live in a middle-class house like the rest of us...couldn’t they?

There is only one catch. Until they back up what they preach they won’t get into heaven.

What’s so funny about it all is that these progressive liberals are basing their philosophy on Christian doctrine. .

The difference is that in religion, it’s your right and choice to give, in the Democratic socialist world of do-gooders, it’s their right to take your money away from you without any say from you in how it is spent, and they have the control to use it as they wish. The philosophy of Christian charity becomes high-way robbery of the poor... to the rich, and as we have seen throughout history, all the money that the kindhearted Democrats have redistributed really hasn’t always gone to the welfare and problems they so obsequiously pander you for.

I’m religious, but, turning the other cheek is not always the answer---you end up with having no cheek to turn. And giving up all your freedoms, and redistributing wealth, is not always the answer either, as communism has proved. Somehow, I don’t think that’s what John Winthrop, was trying to say.

He was asking neighbor to help neighbor, not wanting some huge governmental bureaucracy to demand money to be redistributed.

So the next time you hear a liberal screaming about tax cuts, be sure and bless them for being good Christians. Tell them it’s ok to be religious. Come out of the closet. Jesus loves them too.

Then say you gave at church.

Remind them that Jesus loved all his children...and that’s why he died on the cross for us, so we wouldn’t have to.

Nobody’s Perfect; Tiger Woods let out a nice little fact today: Bill Clinton cheats at golf. Now, that’s no surprise to anyone that has witnessed his behavior during his impeachment. And also, when Bill is putting a big one over on you, he tends to blink a lot. He was blinking continuously during Hillary’s new PR video. I’m waiting for his left arm to start ticking.

So, he cheats on his wife, he cheats at golf…the question is…what doesn’t he cheat on?

Nobody’s Knows; Bacon said, “There was never law, or sect, or opinion did so much to magnify goodness, as the Christian religion doth.”---Essays of Goodness and Goodness of nature.

Nobody Cares; Scientists reported today that the Artic was once a tropical paradise. If the world really is warming up, that means that someday, there might be another Las Vegas at the North Pole. Maybe then the Congress will finally let us get oil from Alaska, because there will be so many people having to drive there. (That is, if the “car” is not outlawed.)