The Pouncing of the Paranoid

Nobody’s Opinion; Today, in Washington D.C., Representative Jim Saxton (R-NJ) reportedly heard “between six and ten shots” somewhere in the vicinity of the Rayburn building garage. The reports did not say if he was actually “in” the garage at the time he heard the shots. “It sounded like gunfire to me.” he said.

One telephone call was made.

The whole city was shut down. Schools were closed. Faster than you can say “Jack Bauer” there was dozens of police cars, SWAT teams, dogs, ambulances, and who knows what else, pouncing on the huge Rayburn building, which is one city block long. Washington D.C. city blocks made up twenty blocks in any other city.

Somehow this building is attached to the Capitol, and therefore the problem.

The Senate was in session at the time.

You see, the House of Representatives dwell in the Rayburn building. And if you have any imagination…with this bill of immigration that the two houses are so far apart on, anyone who was from New Jersey could understandingly be a bit paranoid right now.

In some parts of New Jersey, as here in St. Louis, gun shots are heard in certain parts of the city nightly. If you make a call, you might get lucky to get one or two cops to come out.

That’s why you have to appreciate the almost comical and utter irrationality of a wall-to-wall police state that can instantly materialize out of nowhere and within minutes not only occupy, but shut down a whole city within fifteen minutes.

If you have never experience the incredible efficiency and the almost caricature fanaticism of the Capitol police, you have missed one of the wonders of this country.

If a President had been in New Orleans during Katrina, I’m sure the Capitol Police would have made it down and surrounded the city before the eye even hit.

These guys are amazing.

Did you ever wonder where your tax dollars really go? Years goes by and the streets stay the same. Most inner cities rot in the sun, with just the ballparks breathing any life. Just what are they spending our money on?

A big portion of it goes into protecting the members of our government. I was once witness this to this unique phenomenon.

In the summer of 2000, I visited Washington D.C. for the first time. I was there on a weekday, and found out that everyone that worked in the city was told to stay home that day because the WTO was in town and they were expecting demonstrations.

Since I only had one day to sight-see, and I was bound and determined to go see the Declaration of Independence, there was no question I was going to go out.

When I actually saw the “crowd” of demonstrators, I had to laugh. They were kids mostly…harmless. Having seen many “demonstrations” against the Vietnam War…it was a familiar sight. Young men mostly, with passion on their faces; thinking that by walking around with others that they were going to stop the WTO. There weren’t many, maybe a hundred at most. I actually felt sorry for them.

But the way the “talk” was going down everywhere, you would have thought that these young idealistic kids were carrying a suitcase of nukes. I stood and watched them behind the wall of the White House and wondered…if they are so “dangerous” where are all the police? I only saw a few men on horseback and they were talking and laughing.

So off I went in the other direction…and when I got around the treasury building, I got scared..very scared. I had walked into at least four hundred very well equipped and very mean looking Capitol police.

On every single block…on every single corner, there stood one or two heavily armed---“I’ll kick your face in and kill you if you even look at me.” police guys.

There were only three tourists walking (I made four) and we were told that on every corner we were to stop and give them our name, and do whatever they said.

Of course, this seems very ridiculous when you only take about ten steps before you have to stop again, and again, and again.

This can be pointless to the average person.

When I came to my second corner the guy asked where I was going. I told him “Independence Hall” and this big burly guy actually said “There is no such building.”

Well, to be fair, in the hotel brochures, where I had collected at lest 50 flyers the night before, I was amazed to find, that the Declaration was just not something they wanted you to see. There were no brochures anywhere, and nobody seem to know where the Declaration was. No hotel clerks, no bartenders, no store clerks…no one.

I thought it strange then, and I still do.

Anyway, this great protector of the American Treasury guy and I got in a huge argument

“It does too exist!" I said. " It’s across the street from that Art building!”

“No, there is no such building." and then he pushed me.

Ok…you don’t push me. I’m an American. You don’t push me.

I demanded to see who was in charge.” (Sure, I was stupid. Woman with purse challenges 250 pound mean looking guy with machine gun…not too bright.)

I had four guys, count em'…four take me to their leader who, looked like a little accountant from Wal-Mart. When I told him about how I was outraged I was at the behavior of his men…he just laughed.

Surprisingly, all twenty of the cops around me, walked away when he laughed.

And yes. I got to see the Declaration. It’s every bit as exciting as the movie, "National Treasure."

Also, that same day, while getting ready to go on a White House Tour, I remember the guide saying more than once “Now, when the President passes by in his limo, DO NOT step off the curb. You might get shot. “

No, he was not kidding.

I could just hear what they would tell my son. “Your mother was shot because she was accidentally tripped and fell off the curb as Clinton went by in his motorcade.”

Anyway, one guide did admit that he thought it was an incredible waste of taxpayer’s money…the police state of Washington D.C.

And if you have never seen it, you won’t believe it. The paranoia runs so deep in our politicians, it makes you wonder, just what we don’t know about that they do.

In the end, it was reported that the “gun shot” that Rep. Jim Saxton heard was probably made by some construction going on in an elevator.

But you can be sure that everyone else that was in the Capitol today was in a heightened state of supreme fear, being yelled at, and scared out of their wits.

Everyone except the Senate.

And to me that fact is just as curious as the treasury being swamped with an entire army in the spring of 2000, while on the other side of town, the “protestors” were being watched by a couple of guys on horses.

I’m not sure I even want to know the answers…but if you’re going to be paranoid, Washington D.C. is the best place to be.

Nobody’s Perfect: One officer addressed a room full of people and asked, “Is there anybody in this room the doesn’t belong here?” Good one. Everyone knows that if you are a terrorist, the last thing you are going to do is jump up and say, ”Ok..you got me, I’m not suppose to be here, Osama told me to make it to the Senate floor.”

Nobody Knows; Why the Senate was in committee when we were all told on the news that they had all gone home.

Nobody Cares; After seeing the Declaration, right before going out the door, you see an original copy of the Magna Carta, bought for the American people by Ross Perot. Whatever you may think of him, he is a true American. Thanks Ross.