Camels In Heat Now Have Plan B

Nobody’s Opinion; Okay, what did I miss? A new contraceptive with the very technical name which they hope is easy for you to remember…plan B (what’s plan A?) is now available. Another chemical to put in our bodies, not knowing exactly what the long or short term affects will be…but that’s ok, because if it kills all women in twenty years, it’s not really going to bother anyone.

The goal here is less people.

It is certainly a whole new wonderful step in never again having to worry about the “mistake” with the guy you met at the bar last night, and hey, what was his name? Well, if you can’t remember the name of the guy, you can certainly wake up and remember; “Hey, I need “the morning after pill.” They think woman are all morons.

Don’t you just love it girls?

This brings to mind a visit I had one time at my gynecologist. He was in a very fun mood and asked me if I knew where the diaphragm came from?

Most girls will not remember this. I was asking about it because at the time I was dating a very famous brother called Lee Salk, who told me I should take the pill.

Being as he was an expert (just like his brother) and on New York TV, I took his advice.

After many years, I wanted off. So that’s why the conversation about the diaphragm. It was a rubber thing that you could put jelly in and then try to slide it inside. He made it sound easy…of course; he didn’t have to use it. And to make me feel better he told me its’ history.

He said that the diaphragm was originally developed for camels. Camels, which had to make the long journey in the desert. The Muslims didn’t want the camels getting pregnant.

He also said that the pill had one problem that the doctors were running into again and again, because basically, woman were forgetting to take one or two, and then getting pregnant. So it was decided by the elite men in the medical associations to try the diaphragms with woman. They all agreed the man who thought of this idea was a genius.

I felt like he was saying woman are like camels. Don’t take them on long trips.

Then came the “patch”. I never tried the patch, but I had a girlfriend who was an airline stewardess named Sherry, who wore one for five years on her arm.

She told me she loved it because she stopped having those god awful, why me? How long does this have to go on?.. monthly visits of egg dejection.

She also grew a mustache and developed tumors in her breasts.

Now, maybe she would have had a mustache and tumors (which were benign but removed) without the patch. I don’t know.

I’ve always wondered if the pill and the high rate of breast cancer weren’t somehow connected, but then, that’s me.

And besides abstinence, which was thrown out about the time of the Salem Witch Trails, there was “THE CONDON,” which was the only thing the guy had to use.

It was not something that affected his body, or his chance of strokes and maybe heart disease. It was, like the diaphragm, probably developed as a balloon originally, but some clever guy found out, that it might actually work in a desperate situation.

The trouble is, most men don’t like them. I bet it would be hard to even get a camel to use one.

So around America tonight, there will be a lot of people celebrating…no more rubbers, no more vasectomies, no more birth control pills, no more worry. Science breaks through again, with the help of Hillary Clinton.

Aids has an even greater chance now of spreading through North America, and her husband is already on the case.

More money for the big boys.

And who is going to be using this? The Spanish? The minorities on welfare? The Muslims?

No, my bet it will be the poor white girls who can’t afford to bring up a baby, but is desperate to get a boyfriend, to find love.

And those nasty European Western genes will finally disappear. The less to revolt about the new Mexicana globalization, the better.

I bet some gynecologist is sitting in some office telling some poor Mexican girl who forgot to take her morning after pill…”The diaphragm was first developing for camels on long trips.”

Hopefully the doctor will speak Spanish, or some poor guy will have a heck of a time trying to figure out just how to use it.

What’s the Spanish world for camel?


Nobody’s Perfect; Not all those contraceptives work. Once, I knew a woman who got pregnant when she was not only on the pill, but used a diaphragm AND a condom, AND spermicidal the next day. The companies never wrote her back.

Nobody Knows; John Adams was convinced of America’s inevitable success because of the sheer mathematics of it all He knew the country would multiply in just ten years, and the numbers of Americans would be so big, England could never hold on.

Of course, I’m sure Vicente Fox is telling his wife the very same thing.

Nobody Cares; We now have a new baby elephant at our St. Louis Zoo. There is nothing cuter on this earth, (next to a real baby of course) than a baby elephant. Which makes me wonder if the elephant had been the inspiration for the diaphragm, would it still have been developed? Yeah, I know…who cares.