Nobody's Absurdities, No. 33: Butter My Butt And Call Me A Biscuit!

Nobody’s Opinion; Okay, I stole that line. It was sent to me in an e-mail and it is just about how I feel about all the stuff going on. The reason I can use it is because it’s suppose to be an old southernism, which means, the copyright was up long before the civil war.

So here in no order at all are some real pancakes from the mouths of various hot dogs.

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Hot off the press! Newt Gingrich, another possible “I May Run for President, I’m just not sure yet” candidate, came out with a really bold statement today.

He called for an end to “catch and release” policies which allow criminals, terrorists, and insurgents to go free after being detained for a limited period of time.

If Newt ran with this promise and made it a reality, he would surely be elected the next President of the United States.

Unfortunately, he was talking about Iraq.

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While President Bush has called for a bigger military expansion of troops, many have forgotten that one of the reasons so many of our service men and woman quit after 9/11, was NOT due to Iraq, but to Bill Clinton’s executive order for the mandatory anthrax vaccine. In 2002, 16 percent of our National Guard and Reserve pilots and air crew left. Another 18 percent were putting in their notice, because 86 percent of those that did take it reported adverse side effects.

You see a very good friend of Clinton’s, Admiral William Crowe, the former Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff, had stuck up for Clinton at one time, saying he was NOT a draft-dodger.

He was just a dodger who liked drafts in small hallways, which he could always get with a little help, by just removing his pants.

Clinton not only made him ambassador to England, but gave his company BioPort, (where he was a director and stockholder) an exclusive multi-million dollar contract to supply 2.4 millions servicemen and women with the anthrax vaccine. And even though BioPort failed inspections again and again, they had indemnity for all liability.

Clinton gave him $49 million on top of the original $25 million, probably just for the use of his company jet.

Of course, because it caused deaths and birth defects, they stopped using it, but not before Clinton court martial hundreds of servicemen for declining the untested vaccine.

Now, they are opening medical clinics in all the Walgreens Drug stores across the nation, where they can get rid of all the leftover anthrax vaccine which will be probably sold as flu shots, or shots of Viagra.

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How long have Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump been fighting? Who wants to bet that the end of this long and nasty feud will end up in a new reality TV show for the both of them called “Rosie and the Trump” or “Trump the Rosie.”? It will bring in more viewers than even American Idol, and many celebrities will come on to take sides just to dish out vulgar and nasty things on Television. Madonna will be the first guest.

Then some one will come on the show and kill themselves because Trump and Rosie got too mean, and the show will be canceled because they won’t be able to decide or elucidate whose fault it really was: Trump or Rosie.

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The Posse Comitatus Act of 1878 said that no President could order military troops on the citizens. And yet, it is happening with regularity all over our country. New Orleans still has troops. St. Louis got the National Guard sent here twice last year because of the loss of our electricity. They were sent out to the Western states just recently to help out with the blizzard.

But they are solders in Iraq. So are they soldiers? Or are they Guards?

Has this been made clear?

In 2002, a man who worked for Hillary Clinton on her stealth health care for all comrades system---which tanked at the time, was trying to pass the EHPA. (Emergency Health Powers Act.)

This gave all governors the power for 60 days to send soldiers into every home.

This also said that police or soldiers can come and take you by force off your property, quarantine you, take your KIDS from you and quarantine them, destroy any property of yours, make you submit to a vaccine, and most importantly, as we saw in New Orleans…take your guns.

Funny----I thought it was only President Bush that was pushing for these measures with his Homeland Security, didn’t you?

Yep, the Posse could be coming to your neighborhood soon, and they will probably be speaking Spanish.

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Speaking of Spanish, Colin Powell, made the statement that our border with Mexico “ Is like two rooms of the same house.”

Right, the bathroom and the Dining Room.

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Nobody’s Perfect; Tonight, Michael Savage suggested that the President should take our soldiers out of Iraq and let Iran come in and spend THEIR money on fixing Iraq.

Michael also walks the streets of San Francisco at night.

Sometimes I thank God for the little miracles in life, like the fact that Michael is not President.

Nobody Knows; Everyone is saying that Hillary is going to be forced to announce her intentions to run for President soon because of the popularity of Osama.

I think she’ll wait until the Democratic convention in Denver, where the celebration will go on so long that the party will continue on into China at the winter Olympics, and finally end when Bill Clinton falls off the Great Wall of China because he was trying to catch a breeze.

Nobody Cares; Gingrich also said today “We could witness the destruction of all U.S. cities in our lifetime.”

Then why are we letting Muslims into our country? Why do we have open borders? Why did Newt and Dole sign the GATT treaty with Clinton, which got us stated on this open borders nonsense?

And where will Newt be when this happens?

In the kitchen.

Bake my biscuits, I’m hot tonight.

Actually I really am, our heater is broken and I’m sitting right next to an electric one. Those suckers are HOT!

Would I lie to you?