Friday, January 05, 2007

Nobody’s Opinion: Bring out the bacon! Muslims hate pigs!

Why don’t they teach you this stuff in our schools? I knew they didn’t like dogs. But now I find out they don’t like pigs, or alcohol. And of course, because they look on us as lower than pig dung, we now have a secret weapon!

All we need to do is for everyone in America to adopt a pig for the back yard, get more dogs as pets, and fling bottles of alcohol over our fences. Better yet, some of our pilots can maybe drop some whiskey from the sky.

If you live next door to a Muslim, be sure to open your windows when you fry the morning bacon…for dinner go outside and have pork chops on the picnic table.

We should kiss our dogs right in front of them; even let our dogs lick our faces. And show them how much we LOVE our pets. Teach our dogs to lick everyone!

And then watch em’ run.

Hey, I thought my Muslim neighbors left the neighborhood because they were warned to get out of America. But maybe it was because I walked by their house every single night with my adorable puppy who was running all over their yard trying to kiss their kids.

Maybe they went back to Detroit!

I could just hear the mother now;

“ I just can’t stand it Muhammad…she comes around every single night, and the kids are playing and she lets the dog go up and encourages our children to PET the dog, its’ so disgusting, and last night, little Osama asked if we could get one…what am I going to say? We MUST get out of this neighborhood. We must get into a Muslim nationhood, I just can’t stand her, and she’s such a pig.’

Forget Guantanamo bay…let’s call for an American pork-out barbeque every Saturday night! And throw bones for the dogs to chase.

And today I found out that some American pig farmer did just that. He is my nobody hero for the week.

Fox news reported that there was an argument going on in Texas, between two neighbors. One was a pig farmer; the other was a Muslim, who had bought the land next door to him, KNOWING full well that he was buying land next to a pig farmer.

Guess who the media presented as an intelligent, compassion, child loving, and family man? (And this was even on Fox news)

Right, it wasn’t the pig farmer. That poor guy just looked tired, like the rest of us. Tired that our government is allowing our country to be overrun by not only illegal Mexicans, but inviting Muslims to “come on in” and start ordering us around.

There are already 60,000 Mosques in Texas alone.
I repeat---60,000. Think about that.

And you don’t think they want to take over the world?

It seems the Muslim man, (who obviously does not have to work because he is being funded by his rich relatives in Saudi Arabia, wants to build a Mosque on his property. He wants the pig farmer to get rid of his pigs because he will be offending the women and children that will be coming to the Mosque.

(Fade to shot of women with two innocent kids walking innocently among the trees, looking very sad.) Awwwwwww…..

The Muslim guy evidently didn’t stop at this horrible slight to his lofty vision of pig free America. He called the guy a LIAR in front of 200 people at a town meeting.

Well, that did it. The pig farmer called up about one hundred of his neighbors, and they held themselves an afternoon of pig races. It looked like a lot of fun.

Yes, just think--- if every city started having dog races, and pig races, with an open bar, maybe they would all go home.

In fact, we should have more neighborhood block parties, and serve pork and beer.

The Muslims feel that we should do what they want.

Also in the news…the cabbies in Minneapolis are refusing to pick up customers if they have like a wine bottle in their hands, or Seeing Eye dogs, or Allah forbid, a pork steak sandwich.

Three quarters of the taxi drivers at the airport are Somali, many of them Muslim.

Wow, just think…if every American would just buy a bottle of wine at the airport, then only an AMERICA cabbie would get his money. He might have to wait a while to get a cab, but oh…it would be worth it.

Maybe we should play loudspeakers of Charlotte’s Web…to our Muslims neighbors.

We could call it “Pork torture.”

How dare they come into our country and tell us, what we can own, or what we can do, because THEY are offended.

We don’t have to be nasty about it. We could run them off by just celebrating OUR God given right to be ourselves.

By the way, the pig farmer said he’s sell his farm to the neighbor for $1.5 billion dollars.

So far…he hasn’t heard from him.

Since I heard this today, pigs have taken on a whole new meaning for me. Yes, there is hope yet.

We could make the pig a national animal.

It almost makes you want to go out and become a pig farmer.

If the politicians can load up bills with pork, then I say it’s our right as Americans to fill up our refrigerators with pork steaks, bacon, and pig feet.

Let’s not take this. Pig lovers unit!

Nobody’s Perfect; Someone forgot to rub dog saliva on Saddam’s cheek before he died. Or bless him with a bacon strip. Or dose him with cheap whiskey.

And they say Christians are crazy.

I better watch out what I’m saying…only Muslims are allowed to insult in America.

Nobody Knows; After seeing the high percentages of Mosques in Texas, I now wonder how many are in the United States. Anyone?

Nobody Cares; Some guy who is high up with bin Laden today made the statement; “We are hunting the Americans like pigs”

I bet he wouldn’t be so bold if he had an American soldier standing in front of him. I don’t think that soldier would bother using a pig, or whiskey, or a dog to scare the guy, he would just put a hole in him.

Boy, am I on a rant today, or what? The next time I go grocery shopping, I’m stocking up on more port steaks. You never know when a Muslim is going to ask you to get rid of your dogs.


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