Nobody’s Opinion: There was big news today that Elvis today is still “King” of the American Postage Stamp. Actually, I think this was a good sign. 124.1 million people bought the Elvis stamp. Somewhere, gathering dust in old attics, Elvis stamps are waiting to be discovered by some grandchild, who will not know who he was and probably throw them away, only to discover while surfing e-bay, that the stamp he threw away as a kid, is now worth 2 millions dollars.

Not something you’d care to put in your portfolio of “How big a fool was I?”

And that’s one of the reason people collect. Sort of like a poor’s man’s pension.

American stamps might end up being one of the last things that the American people actually have a say in. Anybody can make send a stamp idea into the Post Office, where a committee decides which idea to actually make into stamps.

And BECAUSE they love to make money, they are going to pick American culture that everyone loves, instead of some politically correct person like Kofi Annun…although I’m sure he has been suggested along with Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, Arafat, and legends of American Idol. By the way, they might actually already be on a stamp already as far as I know.

No, someone should tell Bill O’Reilly that the culture war is being won in at least one segment of society… the American postage stamp. Coming in second next to Elvis was the Wonders of America. And in the top sellers is a who’s who of American culture: we have the Art of Disney, the Civil War, Legends of the West, Comic strip Classics, Advances in Aviation, Bugs Bunny, Baseball Sluggers, Lucille Ball, Rock & Roll/Rhythm and Blues, Marilyn Monroe, Star and Stripes, and my personal favorite, Insects and Spiders.

As everyone knows who lives in America, insects and spiders have been part of the American culture since the Indians suggested we eat them for desert. Millions of American dollars have been spent trying to get rid of the little creatures.

But Elvis is still King, and I have a friend who has a collection of Elvis paraphernalia that would actually made her a multimillionaire if she wanted to sell the stuff.

You see, when she was young, and Elvis was in his prime, Judy (not her real name)
and her girlfriends used to take trips to Graceland and…well…just hang around. They got to know all Elvis’s bodyguards and all his “buddies.” Being cute was a big plus. They got to know Elvis, and they took LOTs of pictures.

This lady has HUNDREDS of unpublished pictures, Elvis scarves, and letters from his dad…stuff some collector would be salivating over.

As I was looking through her “collection” and then looking around at her house, which was smaller than Elvis’ bathroom, I asked her why she didn’t sell some stuff just to get a few bucks for retirement.

No, she was going to give it all to her daughters. Most of us would think this was insane, but not really. I suspect the real reason is that, she just loved Elvis too much to part with any of it, each picture, and each letter, brought back the best times of her life.

She is still in love with him.

So…what’s her husband say?
He smiles and says...“Ca-ching!”

Which is why people collect stamps, someday they might be worth something. You might not have enough money to buy stocks, but stamps you can afford. The poor man’s insurance.

And right now, at this moment before the globalization hits everyone in full force, the stamps remain reflections of the American Culture.

But not for long. Soon there will be a Hillary stamp (she has already posed for it.), and Bill Clinton stamp, the United Nations stamp, and a series of all religions…so as we can all globalize effectively together.

They’d better get at it, because I have a feeling that Elvis, like every King, is going to be a hard one to get rid of.

Let’s hope so.

Nobody’s Perfect; Okay, I collect Disney stuff, from Walt’s time. This stuff has no purpose, and just sits around collecting dirt, but it doesn’t matter. To this day I could kick myself for giving away a Tinker Bell Christmas tree ornament that was one of a kind.

Which makes me have something in common with Rosie O’Donnell who collects the same useless stuff…I don’t want to discuss it.

Nobody Knows; Why was Elvis loved so much by his fans? This nobody suspects he had that one extra bit of something that everyone else lacked. Elvis was magnanimous, he kissed every girl he came in contact with, which means, that he was exposed to millions of germs and never got really sick. Just think what they could do with his DNA.

How much would a lock of his hair go for on e-bay, since stem-cell research?Mmmmm?

Nobody Cares; I got a bill back in the mail the other day, one in which I had “taped” on a stamp, because I took it off another envelope that I had made a mistake on. What does this mean? Did I feel enraged by this act of blatent piracy on the part of our government? You bet I did.

Sadly, we now have stamp stealers.