Nobody Goes Swimming With Mel Gibson

Nobody’s Opinion: Instead of thinking up conspiracy theories about why Seattle now has 300,000 people without heat and power due to an unusual storm that came out of nowhere, leaving people in Seattle suffering no electric power for a week; the same predicaments that St. Louis suffered just a last week: instead of thinking that another town was being “primed” to get ready for the inevitable that Dick Cheney, President Bush, and Donald Rumsfeld will happen…

I made my husband take me to see Mel Gibson’s new movie “Apologize”

Yes, I wanted to give my very creative and active imagination of the fearful and perhaps upcoming terrorist event a rest…but Mel’s movie just magnified it.

Gee thanks Mel. I’m trying not to worry here.

Why? Because it dealt with the subject of fear, and how you react to it.

Fear is not exactly a concept that Americans are really into right now. The most Americans might fear is that they will go to Best Buy and they will be sold out of Scarface. Or that they will not get that new IPOD gear.

Some of the dreadlocks that I saw at the mall last night were pretty scary.

Besides the usual “Whew, that car just missed me.” I haven’t come into any real fear in years. But the movie brought up a fond memory.

My son’s first swimming lessons.

My father did not demand much of anything of my brother and I as kids, but there was one thing that he thought was vital for survival, and that is that every person should know how to swim. Since he had been a Sea-Bee, it was an easy thing to teach us.

So there I was, only one among many other nervous mothers, down at the local pool, to watch our young 3-year olds take their first swimming lesson.

All the little ones were lined up on the edge, and told to dive into the water to the lifeguards, who as I remember were very well built high school boys.

Every single kid, who had never been in water before, jumped right in. No fear. I couldn’t believe it. But, not my son---oh no..he just kept looking at the water. You could see the wheels turning…as if he was thinking….”I know that stuff, its water, and its’ a LOT deeper than my bathtub. I don’t know this guy, this is not good. I really don’t think I’m ready.”

It took some effort to get him in. Peer pressure made him jump, but he didn’t want too.

Even when he was a baby and I would hold him, he knew he could not swim. He was scared.

Now, most of the mothers thought my kid was chicken, but I saw it another way. I thought that it was a sign that he was smarter than the other kids, who would have just jumped in, and drowned. In fact, many young kids do just that in home pools.

Later, after swimming lessons, I never worried about him. At five he was all over deep end, and his favorite thing was to swim down to the bottom at the deep end and get the pennies. He was better than the other kids. I never worried about him at all.

Both our fears were gone.

Now, Mel’s movie makes you question whether fear is good or bad, and the power of it. It’s a theme throughout the movie.

I know he has come out and said that Americans are being ruled with “fear” by our administration, and that he doesn’t like Jews…blah, blah… and yet, this movie is as true to his conservative beliefs as any of his other movies, go figure.

Mel is either a prophet, or a drunk. Maybe he’s a drunk because he’s a prophet.

As you might assume, you can’t help but draw analogies from his story.

He puts up a saying at the beginning of the movie, the one about great nations cannot be conquered unless from within. (I forget who said it, I was eating popcorn and unprepared for a philosophical moment.)

But, it doesn't fit the movie. The Incas don’t get conquered in his movie, and the simple village people are not corrupt.

Obviously, Mel is using his art to educate, as he says he likes to do.

As he has said, you identify with the village people, because they like to make a lot of sexual jokes. They are a simple people, happy, and they feel safe and comfy in their little forest world. And then a band of ruthless Mayans come and capture them, to take them to be sacrificed on the temples.

So what do you naturally think of? Americans are like the simple villagers sitting around telling jokes and a whole world of Muslims, like the ruthless Aztecs, would really enjoyed rolling decapitated heads down six-flag roller coaster. The Aztecs built pyramids for this function, but I’m sure the jihads could come up with something.

So, according to how this nobody sees it, Mel suggests that we should quit sitting around acting as if nothing is going to happen to us, and prepare for it. And if we should be attacked by ruthless Islamic, we should show no fear and fight for our homeland.

Because as he says in the picture, (Well the main character says it.) “Hey, this is my land, and was my fathers before him, and his father’s before him, and you can’t have it!”

Well…something like that.

Which means to this nobody that we’d better learn to swim before it’s too late. Some of us are not afraid of the water, and that’s not a good thing.

And just in case you’re wondering, I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night due to visions of my head rolling off my pillow, and the floor was at least a mile away.

Nobody’s Perfect; After seeing the movie you can’t imagine why Mel is going around talking against Iraq and making stupid statements, which go to show…there, might be a conspiracy here. (Just kidding)

Nobody Knows; Just what language Mel’s next movie is going to be in, and just who designed some of those god awful, ugly, and bizarre Aztec costumes.

Nobody Cares; Mel wants everyone to forget his past mistakes and get on with it. Okay Mel, here’s one nobody that has. Can I come to your forest now? I hear you have an island, and I’m an excellent swimmer.