Princess Dianna; Fairytale Substantiated

Nobody’s Opinion; Once upon a time, in a land full of castles, lords, ladies, earls, dukes, and lots of fish and chips, there lived a young girl named Dianna.

Dianna was considered a very lucky girl by many in the land, because she happened to be born to a very rich father, and a very rich mother. But Dianna was not a happy girl.

Why? Because even though her parents were so rich, they could not protect the little girl from that nasty thing that happens even to rich people: divorce. Everyone knows there are two things that money can’t buy: a good head of hair….and true love.

The little girl was eight, when her parents broke up and the fighting was so intense. She was sent away to school, where she did very poorly. She went into her own world of dreams to escape.

This breakup made the little rich girl feeling rather like her world was falling apart. She dreamed of someday becoming a famous ballerina. She dreamed that someday a prince would come and save her from her loneliness, and he would take her to a fairyland of happiness, where she would live happily ever after.

Not far from this little girl’s rich backyard, was the real Prince of the land. His mum was the actual Queen of the land, and richer than most of the people on the earth. His dad loved his mum, because that made him one of the richest men on the earth.

But like the poor little Dianna, even as a child, this Prince was not happy. His mother the Queen, was as about as affectionate as a barracuda on a diet. She would never hug him, but once in a great while, she would shake his hand.

Not a very good recipe for a well balanced Prince,

The young Prince was considered too “sensitive” which would just not do for a young prince, so he was sent away to a boarding school to toughen him up, where he had to get up early in the morning and take cold showers. Not at all like the cozy castle life he was used to. This tended to make the young prince develop into a person very much like his mum.

The only difference being he could play polo.

The young Prince took his time growing up, but he eventually did fall in love. He met the girl of his dreams. But, she already had two children and because he was the only Prince to the throne, he needed to leave heirs to continue the Royal family.

And he had to marry a virgin. It was not looking good. Everyone in the world was gossiping…so he planned to never get married. Maybe he could adopt.

But, he knew his mother would not approve. She might not shake his hand ever again.

To solve the problem, two loving grandmothers were brought in. The two grandmothers of the two children got together and decided that since Dianna was a virgin, a Protestant, and even had royal blood in her veins (due to a lot of messing around from past kings producing out-of-wedlock babies) they convinced the young prince, who was not so young anymore that it was his royal duty to get married.

It was his royal duty.

The prince tried out Dianna’s older sister first. But of course, he needed a VIRGIN, so after a very short courtship, he switched sisters and Dianna got her dream come true.

This was much better than being a ballerina with sore toes.

The whole town of London (the land of fish and chips) was so happy that the Royals threw the biggest wedding ever seen on earth. Every national leader was invited, and all the pictures of the wedding were printed in every magazine in the world.

The whole world fell in love with the fairy tale Princess, because every parent in the world had read the story of “Cinderella” to their kids, and this was the story come true.

All the poor people could have hope and believe that fairy tales do come true.

Princess Dianna was not only beautiful at the wedding, but everyone was amazed at how anyone in the world could even walk with a veil that reached around two city blocks. For that feat alone, Dianna was admired as no other woman had been admired before in the Royal family.

It was a happy day for all the land, and television network executives.

For a while, everything seemed okay. The Princess was determined to become the best wife and Royal Future Queen ever walked the earth. She never left her house without being the best-dressed, the most perfect, and the nicest Princess to everyone. In fact, she became SO good at this royalty stuff that she made the real Queen and Prince look like old fuddy-duds. (Which they were.)

Then time went on…and Princess Dianna, who fell in love with her Prince, had done her duty in supplying the kingdom with an heir. And as if that wasn’t enough, she gave them another boy.

After that, something went wrong. The Prince figured he had done his duty, and started seeing his old flame and love of his life again.

The Princess was devastated.

Actually, she didn’t know it at the time, but she was somewhat lucky because in the old days, when a King or a Prince wanted to get rid of a wife when he found a new girlfriend, he would just think up some trumped up charge…and cut off her head.

He had to come up with something more modern.

This was not the happily ever after dream of Princess Dianna’s child-hood dreams. This was the same nightmare that she had lived through with her parents.

She started getting depressed. She even threw herself down a flight of castle stairs right in front of the Queen…hoping someone would come and pick her up.

The Queen did not even shake her hand.

Reality hit hard, and so the Princess decided to throw herself into her work. She went around the world and visited sick children, and the whole world began to love the Princess. They felt that she actually cared about everyone, and she always looked like a true Princess should.

Meanwhile, back at the palace, the REAL Prince and his mum started getting jealous. After all, she was supposed to deliver heirs, not take THEIR place as the most beloved of the Royal family. Everyone in the world grew to love her more.

This had to stop.

The Princess was also growing up, and finding her place in the world. So she decided to actually do some good by trying to clear landmines from the earth, which the United States, and most countries were really mad about.

One day, the people woke up to the news the Prince had finally got rid of the Princess. That horrible thing called divorce had struck again.

The Princess was scared. She told everyone that she feared that she would be killed. After all, she was pissing off a lot of people because she had been talking about how lonely she was. And because she was the mother of the future King, the Prince could never marry his real love.

Then one night, while she was out with her new boyfriend, who was also rich, but NOT a protestant or a virgin, she got into a horrible car accident, and the beautiful and sad Princess was taken away.

The whole world was stunned. The whole world watched it unfold. Their poor Princess sat for hours in the back of a wrecked car before they even pulled her out. Hours. The people cried---“Where is the ambulance? Where are the doctors? Oh our poor Princess!”

All over the world people were really upset. How could they take so long? Wasn’t she a princess? Even Joe the auto mechanic gets better service.

A few witnesses had seen a white car hit Princess Dianna’s limo, and motorcycles were seen with men in black. The car was never found. The witnesses never seen again.

It took hours to get to the hospital, and hours to try to save her.

Everyone in the world was thinking; “God, I hope I never have an accident in France. If a Princess can’t even get an ambulance, I’d be pretty much..f*&%.”

But then after hearing the news…the Prince did not rush to her side. Now, everyone knew he had a girlfriend, but she WAS the mother of his children…where was he?

He sort of came…in a couple of days. Then when the Prince came on TV, to face the grieving nation… he acted as if he was glad to be rid of her.

The Queen mother finally made a statement after days of everyone complaining that she wasn’t saying anything, and came out and said a few nice things.

Everyone else in the world was crying.

On the day of her funeral, the whole world was in mourning. There were so many flowers in England that still; you can find dead rose petals in the gutters.

In their hearts, most of the world, despite the vast news of an innocent accident put out--- believed that the sad Princess who had tried to bring cheer to the world had been killed.

The boys walking miles behind the father at her funeral did not help the gossip.

But, the accident was blamed on the drunk driver.

Not too much later, the Prince married his life-long love. The two love-birds looked as happy as two turtles finally mating on a rock in the sun.

The two young sons are happy, because they are the richest kids in the world--almost.

After all, the princess loved her two sons more than anything. They, unlike their parents, have felt the love of a good mother, and like Harry Potter, that kind of love sticks.

And now, another fairy tale is being written; The Royal family and the Royal press are telling the whole world that Princess Dianna was not killed. You people stop this nonsense.

To prove it they hired a man who works for the Crown. The investigator interviewed the Prince, the Queen, and the heirs…all was decided that she was killed by a drunken driver.

The crown is protected.

The moral of the story is; the rich usually get what they want. But they cannot buy love. And they cannot erase the memory of a beautiful but lonely Princess who just wanted her dreams to come true. No matter how many investigations they do.

Many, many years from now, the history books will report that Princess Dianna had a mental problem. She was really disturbed. Prince Charles will be remembered as a truly great prince and greatly loved by his people.

That’s what will be printed. But somewhere in the pubs, and sitting by the fireplaces, voices will whisper.

“I don’t care what they say, she was pregnant and they had to get rid of her.”

It doesn’t matter now what the truth is. Dianna light was so bright, that men and woman will still read “Cinderella” to their children at night.

And hope that someday, there will be another Princess to give the world hope.