Thursday, January 10, 2008

Indianna Hillary---Coming To Your Neighborhood Soon


Nobody’s Opinion; Everyone is trying to interpret what happened recently in the news: How in the world did Obama, who was touted as the next President in Iowa, and was predicted to smash the already defeated Hillary Clinton with a resounding double-digit beating in New Hampshire---how did he lose?

Republicans everywhere were almost dancing in the streets with glee, with every single CBS poll. Oprah’s diet-soda slurping, ironing, soccer mom matrons were humming along with the hopeful news of “change.”

All the polls sang with one voice---Hillary was toast.

And then, like a Bill Clinton “fairy tale,” the news hit that Hillary had been reborn: Reborn from the Machiavellian, ruthless, power hungry, manipulating, woman that we all know---into a magical feminine princess with a compassionate heart, a voice reminiscence of Marilyn Monroe, and the soul of mother Teresa. Even a conservative could empathize.

Please.

As Matt Towery’s said in his column today, “Live from New Hampshire…”

“It doesn’t take a polical whiz to know that Hillary’s recent teary moment and Bill’s argument that Obama is a fantasy candidate being treated with velvet gloves by the media were both deliberate strategies right out of the mastermind of one William Jefferson Clinton, the smartest Democratic campaign strategist alive.”

Fairy tales do come they can happen to you…when you know the right people.

Well, I have a “fairy tale” explanation based more on reality than fiction.

And if I don’t suggest it, who will?

Here’s my theory: Bill and Hillary have never done a thing without planning years in advance. And since it is well known that they have had years to think about their strategy to put Hillary in the White House, and how hard it was going to be because she comes with so much “divisiveness”---they needed an exceptional battle plan. And this time, they are getting it from their old buddy Steven. As in Spielberg.

Right now--- I would call him General.

If you want to write a fairy tale, you go to the experts.

Writers, directors, and masters of drama are good friends to have, and the Spielberg’s and Clintons go back a long way.

Steven and his buddy Lucas have been dishing out blockbusters for years, and they tell you how in Vanity Fair this month.

Harrison Ford, who plays Indiana Jones, explains that part of Indy’s appeal is his tendency to get the crap beaten out of him. “I always wanted to make sure the audience understood the pain, so that they could participate and enjoy the triumph.”

In other words, George Lucas explains, you get the audience to identify strongly with the underdog. That’s how they become “everyman.” The actors have that “Oh-my-God- I’m-going-to-die” look.

“And it’s an honest look, it’s not contrived,” says Lucas.

Hillary had to get it just right.

Bill Clinton rushed to New Hampshire and started speaking on two hours of sleep after her defeat in Iowa. He looked horrible and beaten as was planned…poor man.

And Hillary’s speech…the, “I’m so tired…. I put my husband ahead of myself all my life, I helped make him President, even though he embarrassed me by getting caught with one of his bimbo’s, and then he keeps talking abut himself---and now, I have to eat all this garbage food, and put up with annoying people crying on my shoulder…and…my feet really hurt…

Hurry---get the camera; put a few people around this table….ready? Set? Action!

Close up: Now…Tears.

It worked.

Put out the news that the reason the polls got it wrong was because poor whites are prejudice, instead of the real reason: the whole ordeal was controlled by false polls.
Polls can be used to influence voters. (remember Florida?)

Hillary---you’ve got yourself a real box office hit.

But this is only the first act. Prepare yourself for… The MacGuffin.

No, it’s not another burger by McDonalds: it’s the goal that is so powerful that the audience will care about it almost as much as the dueling hero’s and villains on screen.

In Indiana Jones it was The Ark, then the Holy Grail…in the next movie it’s a crystal.

So, some issue has to come about, an issue only Hillary can handle to save--- probably all of humanity. She will need the biggest McGruffin ever recorded in history.

What’s its going to be?

I don’t know…but you can be sure it will be right out of the Temple of Doom.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Doug said...

Spot on, Joy!

I'm so skeptical of the Clintons that I tend to believe that even when they lose, it's only because they planned it that way for some reason.

5:46 PM  

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