Nobody Cares About Vacations

Nobody Cares: I wrote a long story about my one-day vacation to Branson, Missouri…a day where just to save money, my husband and I stayed up 22 hours, drove 555 miles, and spend over $300 seeing attractions, instead of paying outlandish prices to stay at a hotel for one night---which shows you the desperation. Yes, I wrote the story, and then decided that “Idiot, nobody cares about your stupid one-day vacation.” so I pressed “delete.”

You’re welcome.

But, here’s a few pictures: That’s me looking like I had been captured by Pirates (which is pretty much how I feel every time I turn on the news) and the outside of the Wax Museum in Branson, MO…(where we went) where John Wayne is still KING.

And here are just a few thoughts:

The figures in Wax Museums are always skinny, and always smaller than you. Rambo is always about 5’5’ and weighs about 125 pounds, all over the world. Nobody EVER gets Marilyn Monroe right.

Last time I was in Branson, the price for a pair of ladies moccasins was $14.50. Now the going price is $45.00. And these are the ones made in China.

Paul Revere and the Raiders still do the same routine as when they first appeared on Dick Clark’s American Bandstand, which in itself is a miracle. Paul Revere shoots a very loud pistol into the air to wake all the old people up. He’s 71 and knows this is necessary. He is sharper in mind than most of the politicians in Congress.

“You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling” can be performed even if a voice is practically gone, and it doesn’t matter. Bill Medley's biggest fear is Wal-Mart. (Actually, the show was great…really.)

Our weatherman said, “no rain in sight.” He lied. We drove in fog and pouring rain for a full four hours, in the morning hours…and it rained the whole day. The good news is: we were NOT at Disneyworld.

If you do not eat desert for a month, and tell yourself that you will allow yourself this one luxury (a funnel cake) when you go on your one-day vacation, then sure enough, you will see no funnel cakes being sold anywhere, until the last 20 minutes, where sure enough, you will run upon a funnel cake stand, and it will be closed.

The going rate for all silly attractions, like fun houses, and haunted houses is $24.95. Just imagine when Obama gets his advisors to decide rates on medical procedures…

And speaking of Obama…the best part of the day is that I missed his big speech.

Next to bringing the dogs some very big bones from our t-bone steaks, (thereby being instanly forgiven for leaving them) and my first train ride ever…I’d say, Branson is still hanging on…and so am I.

Johnny Depp on the other hand, has a better hairdresser.