Officials of the Westminster Dog Show: Please Update

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive. ~Gilda Radner

Nobody Cares that I'm a big dog fan...and therefore my problem: it seems my dogs are not normal. I have decided this after watching the Westminster Dog Show last week.
Dog lovers all over the country wait every year for it...the Westminster Dog Show in New York. We grab our popcorn, and aaah, and ooooh...and cuss out all the snobby looking judges who in our own mind, ALWAYS pick the ugliest one of the bunch. And this year was like all years before...it was really fun to watch.

"Wow...how long did THAT take to comb? Can you imagine the hair? "

And, "Why do they make all the big fat women wear dresses and RUN? Can't they let them have those leashes that stretch...give them time to catch up? "

And "Please...don't pick the poodle...don't pick the poodle...don't..don't..."

Was it me, or did the dogs get bigger this year? Some of them look like they could kill a small rhino. For that matter, some of the handlers look like they could take down a few crocs. For instance the all time winner, a Scottish Deerhound, is said to be able to hunt deer.

And therefore, my problem:

Every time a dog came up to the podium, an announcer would proclaim..."This dog was used by the---(fill in the blank)__________"Chinese, sailors, farmers, librarians, Genghis Khan, Queen of England, Duke of Burgundy, President of the Elk Club, Paris Hilton, Scotsman in kilts, women in heat...etc...to kill rats."

Every time I heard this...I was a amazed, because neither one of my dogs will kill my rapidly expanding population of rats in my backyard.

You see, I also love birds. And birdseed makes a big mess. And the rats always end up in my yard. Now most of my neighbors just call up the city, and they come and get rid of them for free...but I can't do that you see, because, I love my birds. And they would say--

"Lady, you need to stop feeding the birds."

Oh please...where's Al Gore when you need him?

Last fall, we had the cutest little rat. Really...I was growing fond of him...but now, that rat has grown, and the other night I looked out and counted...ten, big ones. The other nine were probably sleeping because they ate too much. I should put out little menu's for them to order from.

NOW...my dogs love the rats. They do not feel any inkling to catch them. I let them out and the stand over the rat hole and wag their tales, as if it's all a game.

"Hey guys...come out and play!"

Okay. Maybe it's my fault. When they were puppies they naturally came to me with dead birds in their mouths and I gently but firmly told them "NO...NO...we do NOT put dead anything in our mouths!"

It was very hard to do, because they come back to you so proudly with the expressing on their faces , "See...Aren't you proud of me? Look what I got! I'm a DOG Can I keep it? "

Yes...there I was chasing my American Eskimo all over the house saying, "PUT IT DOWN! Don't eat it!" A memory I could live without.

Ever since that lesson, they want to please me, so they do not go after my rats, the birds...only the squirrels and bunnies, which of course, they cannot catch.

Now--- according to the Westminster officials. The Pekinese...can get into the holes to chase the rats out. (Don't ask me how...the hair alone would scare them.)

Maybe I should get one of those.

And if you think this is just about dogs....I want to leave you with a final thought.Look at the diversity in the dog world. A Pekinese could NOT take down a deer.

No matter what you think of DNA...it's there. And it's sad that MUTTS are not included in the Westminster Show, because it's all about the pure breed.

Which is the problem with our elites, isn't it? (genetics, that's a whole other blog )

My dogs are well fed. I basically spoil them, and they rule me most of the time. It's up to me to kill the rats. (sigh)

Somebody should talk to those officials about the rat killing instinct. Dogs have either evolved or mine are weird.

And as the saying goes; Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. ~Corey Ford