Tuesday, February 15, 2011

What Budget?

Video of the Day: The Deficit Explained — with Whiskey

Nobody Knows: Yesterday, Obama flew all the way to Ohio to give his speech on his "budget." I guess nobody watched it, because TODAY he gave the exact same speech at a press conference at the White House, and EVERYBODY watched it. He could have saved us a few big bucks right there, but...those kids in Ohio needed to feel his concern.

Important state, that Ohio. I wonder why?

I actually listened to his speech...and Nobody Knows that after listening to his budget, this nobody could not tell for the life of me, what the heck he said. (And neither did those school kids) Just when I thought he just couldn't get enough of himself, he organized a big "I WILL NOW GIVE OUT METALS TO WHOM I THINK MOST WORTHY" party.

As if to say: Well, since I broke my promise about cutting the deficit in half, and because I said wouldn't kick the ball down the road and I'm actually launching it to the next seventeen generations..I will show you what I CAN do...bestow Presidential favors.

You must forgive me. Listening to 5 straight hours of Obama talking while I was vacuuming dog hair off the bed, and the floor, and the tables, did not give me a clear understanding of just what he was saying ---I keep getting the dog hair and the speech mixed up...but here's a short summary:

OBAMA: "My budget will keep us by the year, 2021, from spending more money. Then, it will come due. With this budget I will keep us even Steven until that year, in which, all the debt we didn't pay will all be piled on at once. I am a community organizer and I hate to cut community organizer spending, but I also think we cannot cut heating for the poor. And while this budget does not get all things going...simply because, as you know, in a Democracy we have a much harder time than other countries getting things done (which is not MY fault) because we have many voices to hear...and by the way, I prefer the latter (?) You people must realize we have to be pragmatic. These things take time...look at Egypt...you thought three weeks was a long time? It will take at least a month to get King Tut into the Oval Office.

And as you know, George W. Bush without a shot, took down the Berlin Wall. (?) And Warren Buffet, besides being the richest guy in the World, gives half of his money away, great guy...And look how tall that basketball player is! And the great German Leader Merkel got a medal, but I will have to give it to her myself. And here's the greatest union organizer of all...the man, the great, Sweeny.

I love to do this folks! Just look what the unions have done for America. So...let's forget protocol and applaud at this momentous day of budget talks, old X-Presidents who want go up to the Presidential podium (I stopped that) and the reality that I will leave it up to the Republicans to make those old decrepit people work till they are eighty . After they hear how hard they will have to work, they will WANT my health care plan. Understand...it just takes time. "

The rest of the day, everybody and their other buddy were telling us that basically, the President was on crack. (in a metaphorical way..although, until we have drug tests for politicians we don't know for sure) The average American keeps hearing "trillions" and "billions", and we're broke, and etc.. and we each owe $12,000, and maybe we can kick the can, or the horse, or if we get lucky, the IRS agent and Barney Frank from our nursing home in the sky.

I can't believe I made it through Stan Musial not passing out on the floor of the White House.

Paul Ryan said he "punted." Frankly, I don't even think Obama is on the field. He's somewhere riding his camel to Cairo...all by himself.

Nobody Flashes: Germany just took over the New York Stock Exchange. No wonder Merkel got a medal.

Nobody Flashes: France wants to get rid of the dollar.

Nobody Flashes AGAIN: We are so in debt, that Colorado is taxing bull semen, Nevada is going to tax prostitution, and Texas is going to put $100 surcharge on SUV's. Which means it would be unadvisable to drive your SUV out of Texas, dragging your bulls behind, to the brothels in Nevada...unless you're a politician.

So, join me in a more simply explanation about our money problems.

This video is a simple way to explain it all, and you don't even have to go to Ohio to see it.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

Joy, you MUST frame that speech. You hit it Perfectly. What a precis writer.

I am going to keep it. I will take it out on dark, rainy nights when all is gloom, and have a great chuckle.

Nobody knows just how good you are.

7:58 PM  
Blogger Joyanna Adams said...

Thanks! What would I do without my reader...

8:57 PM  

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