Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Nobody's Perfect: Christina Aguilera Gets Hit by Ramparts of "WHAT?"







Nobody's Perfect: According to most Americans, (at least the hand-picked ones on TV) Christina Aguilera's most imperfect moment was forgetting the words while singing the National Anthem at the Super bowl. They found it...downright insulting. But, guess what? This nobody watched her sing it and did not catch it, because I was just trying to find the melody.

You'd think that MOI...a professional singer for over thirty years, would have caught it.
Nope. I knew something was funny, but hey, aren't we all used to this by now? I still don't understand a word Mick Jaguar says when he sings, but it really doesn't matter does it?
Ever since "Louie, Louie" America has been in a "Who cares, let's dance!" mode.

I am still amazed at how singers like Christina Aguilera and Mariah Carey can make up notes right out of thin air that sound nothing like the song at all.

It's one of the reasons I never got into jazz. I just can't find the melody. After years in the music business, growing up on the Beatles and Beethoven, and Elvis, and my parent's Benny Goodman, the Latin music, sounds of Herb Albert, and the Motown classics, I was trained to LOOK for the melody. Like a person's height and weight, it's the backbone of the song.

Then the art of improvising became popular...and with it...jazz. Miles Davis...I'm sorry. He sounded like a sick cow looking for a hole to die in.

Everyone said he was a genius,, but I always thought it was...well, I call jazz a sort of musical masturbation. These musicians go into their own world of "Ooooooo... feel it, I'm expresssioning my inner mojo, I'm an artieessst...watch me..oooo...pass the joint man, here it comes!"

(sorry, I get carried away)

The popular black singers took jazz into their vocals. Mariah Carey came on the block, knocked Whitney Houston back into drugs, and THEN Christina Aguilera has to try to out vocalized Mariah Carey, and we are left going "What song is this now?" They all start out on the first note, and then by the time they are finish it's usually a different song.

And that's what threw me. I actually think she was trying so hard to make up notes and hit them on key that the notes became more important for her than the words. Not to mention, maybe she had a bad Taco at lunch--- that will do it to anyone.

Take it from a "singer" who had to try to imitate this stuff--- Christina is a master at it...the problem is, she is so good you can actually understand what she is saying, unlike many of the other popular singers of her day. And so, when she makes a mistake it sticks out.

To her credit she apologized and that makes her, a class act. Aguilera said,:

"I got so lost in the moment of the song that I lost my place. I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through."

So, NOBODY'S PERFECT: Next time Christina...sing it straight. You can put in a few of those colorful runs up and down the scale, and hit that high note at the end.....but REMEMBER...
This is ONE song to be sung by a nation...it's not just about you and whomever you are trying to impress that you really ARE the queen of vocal aerials acrobats.

We already know you can sing...it's just that it's the National Anthem...the words DO have meaning, even if they are ramparts.

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14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

What a tolerant lot, Americans are. Here is Christine Aguiwhotnot screwing up the national Anthem and here you are 'understanding'. What a kind soul.

Mind you, no-one knows the words to our Oz National Anthem. You see our sporty superstars at the Olympics and not one can even pretend-mouth the words. We just hum along and wish it could be 'I Still Call Astriya Home.' No-one sings at our sporting matches. Well, they do, but no-one listens. They are all too busy chanting very rude things at the opposing teams.

And your footy fans. How tolerant are they? There was just a bit of time left between the Cheer-leading, barely clad girls leaping around; the four hundred illuminated pretend-robots prancing and tick-tocking; the ubiquitous guitar-murderers and their backing mobs making a friggin' racket, on and on and on; and the hugely expensive adverts that AgitProp us into beleiving that all men are rapists or have a black-belt in DV, even the guitar-whacking ones - and Chrissy Wassname of course - for the footballers to do whatever it is they do, which does not seem to have much to do with feet at all.

When are you guys going to discover the Foot-to-Ball rule; the keep-your-damned-hands-OFF- the-friggin'-BALL rule; the If-a-chap-doesn't-have-the-ball-leave-the-bugger-alone rule; and the off-side rule? You seem to have the off-tune one down pat.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Joyanna Adams said...

I agree...football is all glamor, and no real meat.

As for Christina, she's on drugs.

They say....

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