Checkers or Chess?

Nobody’s Opinion: Today the world was like a chessboard, which of course was screaming at this nobody to sit back and just watch and wonder. So, under a full moon I gaze at the indestructible determinations of big rulers, little rulers, and a world board full of dispensable pawns.

The big news of today was that the Big war seems to have finally started in the Middle East. I say this with tongue in check because actually the war in the Middle East has been going on for quite some time now… it only takes breaks.

Let’s see if I can get this straight; Israel dragged its poor people in their nice houses out of the Gaza strip and said “Here you go…take it back.” Then some Hamas, the newly elected Palestinians terrorists (who are really the pawns of Iran and Syria) on June 25, 2005, dug a hole, popped up, and grabbed an Israeli solder. They said they’d give him back on the condition that the Israelis released 1500 of their soldiers.

Not exactly a fair trade. Israel attacked... 23 dead. So what, rook takes castle? Somebody help me out here.

Then today, rockets from Lebanon were fired into Israel by Hezbollah (Shiite) pawns of Iran and Syria, killing three Israeli soldiers and kidnapping two. Israel struck back and cut off the electricity, and bombed some key points where terrorists hide, hurt some key people and the liberal media here was right on it---that mean bully pawn of the United States named Israel, was attacking, starving, and killing innocent civilians, forgetting to mention that the terrorists care for their own families so little that when they have their meetings, they make sure to have at least four or five childrene nearby to be sacrifice to the American media. They also make sure the press gets into all the hospitals.

Now, when looking back and thinking how cruel it looked when the Jewish leaders forced their people out of their homes in the Gaza strip, I see now that, if looking at it militarily, it was a very smart move. It’s just sad they can’t tell the people that when they are doing it.

“Step into my trap, said the spider to the fly.” And boy, it did.

In the middle of the chessboard, America helps India get nuked up, and then India’s trains get attacked. Two hundred pawns killed in that one.

We hop the board to the other side of the World where North Korea (a pawn of China) is going to show the United States that it can hurt us by launching missiles. Japan and the United States get together and worship Elvis…a funny way to warn the Chinese that the United States will back Japan, who really isn’t a pawn…but could be a horse. (I don’t play chess, can’t you tell.) North Korea who is getting pretty close to our queen due to some very lousy plays by our last President who gave them plutonium, continues to attack the queen.

Coming from behind, Chavez (a pawn it seems of Russia and China, the King and Queen of red) is working to corner our queen with as many South American nations as he can possibly bribe. He is going to take down his beloved CITGO gas stations here, so take that!

We lose a pawn.

Mexico in the meantime, is so close to taking our queen, but our queen is acting like she wants to be cornered. She is leaving herself open on all sides, her pieces are scattered all over the board, and leaving her it seems, defenseless. Now--- in checkers, these pieces could be taken and used to crown to make more kings. (As soldiers)

Maybe the United States is really playing checkers. I don’t think you can put captured pawns back on the table…can you?

Is this going to work? We play checkers, they play chess?

Ok...somebody finish this scenario for me…is there a move in chess where the Queen of the United States (ruled by our Kings) can not be captured? Is this a fake out?

I’m not even going to think about it, the moon is still full, and the G-8 is meeting at right this moment deciding just how to play the rest of the game. One thing I do know, it was the Arabs who invented the game of Chess. The Israel just bombed an airport, it's their move.

Nobody’s Perfect; The last time I played chess, it was with a six- year-old autistic kid... I lost. In fact, he beat me in any game we played, it was his special talent. Nothing like a five-year old to make you forget the rules of the game. Now I play computer solitaire.

Nobody Knows; Speaking of rules of the game, notice how the democrats like to change the rules and declare that all rules and all things in life are relative? That way, like a typical kid who wants to win but can’t, they will just change the rules of the game to their every advantage and always win. The only way to beat them of course is to declare the rules from the start and hold to them.

Nobody Cares; Zidane came out today and apologized for his remarkably rude behavior at the world cup. He said that Materazzi was insulting his mother and his wife. Well, he may be the greatest player in the whole world, but he is not a very good liar. I suggest he take up hockey.

Truth is the cry of all, but the game of the few—Siris (1744)