Junichiro...Say Cheeese!!

Nobody’s Opinion; The Prime Minister of Japan, Junichiro Koizumi, was a big hit today when he broke into song at Graceland….”Wise Men Say.” The fact that he couldn’t sing was even better. He couldn’t have honored America more than visiting the King’s mansion.

Wasn’t it nice to see a foreign leader actually enjoying America? Since we are told every single day how much we are hated all over the world, it was a refreshing and rare change. I’m sure every karaoke singer in Japan was singing along.

If there is one thing that America is really known for, it’s our culture. Hate our politics if you must, but you wear our Nike’s, and listen to our music, and love our movies.

I got to thinking; wouldn’t it be nice if more leaders would do just that? Instead of riding around in their limos and hiding out at the White House, maybe President Bush should do a little more tourist stuff with them all. Just think; not only would he help his image here, it might help the rest of the world relax a little, and like America a little more.

President Bush is not too popular in Britain. Maybe a few pictures of Queen Elizabeth on horseback at his ranch would be nice. I mean, the Queen hasn’t forgotten how to ride a horse has she? That would be a good start. I’d like to see a regular cowboy hat and maybe even some boots on the old gal. It might even help all those in her own country forgive her for being so mean to Princess Diana if they saw her loosen up a bit. Maybe if President Bush would sing her an old cowboy song, he could actually get her to smile. Get her to eat some barbeque ribs. Smile Lizzie!

How about Prince Charles and his twin Camilla? They could all load on Air Force One and go down to the Kentucky Derby, or any horse race for that matter. The British love their horses. Britain is not the only country with a snobby set…we have our own high and mighty thank you very much. Most of them show up on that day. Give the Prince a Mint Julip and a few Saudi’s to talk to, and he would feel right at home. Take the picture when the Prince is losing his money, and Laura Bush’s horse has won. I’d love it.

There is only one sure place to take Vladimir Putin, and that’s Dollywood. He could kiss her stomach! I’m sure Dolly Parton would love to have her picture taken with President Bush and Vladimir, and if anyone can bring a smile to men’s faces, it’s Dolly. In fact, she could probably get the two of them to come up and sing a song…something simple like “The Farmer in the Dell.” Dolly is an all American icon, and Putin would love her. He might even open up more of his oil fields…

Jacques Chirac would feel right at home in Las Vegas. In fact, it might be fun to see a good photo-op with Jacques and George playing some blackjack. The French pretty much started that whole culture of ladies walking around in feathers so I’m sure he would be happy. There’s even a hotel that has a fake Effiel Tower. What a great picture that would make! The leader of France and the United States standing in front of a fake Effiel Tower with two Las Vegas babes on their arms! Smile! Say Cheesse!

Gerhard Schroder would probably like the mid-west. Lots of good wine feasts here in the summer, and the mid-west men drink a lot of beer. In fact, a visit to Anheuser-Busch brewery in St. Louis would be a nice photo for the boys. They could stand in front of one the famous Clydesdales with a couple of brews in their hands. How friendly!

The Sultan Ibn Abdud Aziz would be a hard one. He is used to sand and mansions. I suggest the President take him to nice dinner near the beach. Let him see how great woman actually look in with their hair exposed. You might have to pay a few girls to ride up on Arabian horses carrying hawks, but it would be taxpayer money well spent.

And Tony Blair, well, President Bush should take them down to Disney World in Florida and go on the Pirates of the Caribbean Ride. I’d like to see the two of them hamming it up with swords and Pirate hats on, maybe JACK could come in for a special photo-op.

The world would be a much nicer place if all the leaders would loosen up a bit and have some fun, don’t you think? And even though it might only happen once in a lifetime, I’m glad that we got to see some a foreign leader appreciate and understand our given right that we all take so seriously…the pursuit of happiness. I hope it happens again in my lifetime. ….President Bush? Thanks.

Nobody’s Perfect; Well, we can’t leave out Vincente Fox now can we? We saw the photo-op with Bush and Fox on the pyramids in Mexico, so I suggest Vincente Fox and President get a picture taken in front of the Lincoln Memorial. Maybe he would get the hint that slavery is not a good thing.

Nobody Knows; obviously the perfect place for Fidel Castro would be a visit to Yankee Stadium, except I don’t think the Yankee fans could be trusted to take a good picture of him.

Nobody Cares; The leaders of North Korea and Iran could be sent on a boat tour of Niagara Falls, with a one-way trip over. They’d probably both be so busy talking that they wouldn’t notice the fall. Gee…that was mean…should I take it back? Nah. Hey, it’s my fantasy.