Southwest Airlines Reveals Mile-High Fashion

Nobody’s Opinion: This morning we awoke to the astounding news, that a very pretty and well-built 23-year-old named Kyla Ebbert was almost kicked off a plane for having committed the crime of wearing “revealing attire.”

As you can see---unless Kyla has no underwear on, (seems there is a thong there) her garment would probably not shock any kid, but every male working at Southwestern Airline security, over the age of eight, would probably insist not only that she get off the plane, but also put herself up to hours of intense “questioning” about her “revealing attire.” Then, they might have sent her up the ladder of Southwest imperial inspections…and before she was through, every male, including the janitors and the baggage loaders, would have gotten a chance to remark on just how “inappropriate” her attire was.

Air traffic controllers would have planes waiting for hours during their “immediate” disappearances from their desks.

Kyla, from the looks of her smile, knows exactly what is happening. Anyone that works at Hooters knows the power of a short skirt.

I saw this very same thing happen last year while getting on a flight to Las Vegas.

There was a young girl in line…if fact, I’d be surprised if it wasn’t Kyla, and every single man in the airport, including my husband, even though you’d have thought he would have known better since it was our wedding anniversary…did not even try the usual peripheral vision trick. No, there were hundreds of men in an all out stare, suddenly oblivious to wives, planes, and stock reports…an airport full of paralytic erective comas.

So, it was no surprise to me when they picked this girl alone out of the lineup to go and get “inspected,” but not for her attire, which was about the same as Kyla’s “revealing attire.” The excuse was that they wanted to look at her laptop.

I bet they did. I bet they looked at it real hard. I bet that laptop went through every inspection known to laptop mankind. She was gone quite a while.

When she got back on the plane, after having the security assure all the passengers that she was not bin Laden’s bombing blond cousin…she sat in perfect view, right in front of my husband. Let me tell you, it was a rough trip for me.

To this day he stills pretends he never saw her. (ha!) My husband proclaims Pascal’s Wager when it comes to this kind of stuff. Better to never admit, then take his chances on complete confessions. He may be right.

I had this happen once in high school, but I was a lot more innocent than Miss Ebbert.
It was the first day of my 9th grade class, and I was called to the principal’s office, because according to him, my dress was too short: four inches above the knees…go figure.

Well, I was also, like Kyla, very embarrassed. I sat there in that man’s office for over thirty minutes only to go to another office (man’s ) for another twenty minutes, then to another (man’s) office for another half hour, only to have to sit in another (man’s) office until my mother could pick me up and take me home to change.

All those men couldn’t decide just how short “short” was.

And my dress was not tight. In fact it was loose, but my legs are long, therefore the crime.

But, unlike back then, when I was just naïve student, for Kyla to claim she was being embarrassed because everyone was staring at her, is a joke in itself. She wanted to be stared at, she loved the attention. The culture actually encourages this, have you been to the local mall lately? So how can we blame her?

Southwest let her fly after she covered up, but since she has not received an apology from the airlines, she might sue.

Something tells me, that she doesn’t have much of a case---especially if she reports her complete “innocence” on not knowing her attire was meant to put full grown men into complete mind-boggling meltdowns.

But then again, all this publicity is sure to get her a cover on Playboy…and the start of a whole new career.

And when that happens, I’m pretty sure the men at the SouthWest Airlines security office would say, “God Bless America.”

I have a feeling, airlines all over the country will be getting young girls with “revealing attire” scrambling on board, trying to get in the papers.

In the old days, stewardess’s were pretty, that ended with the feminine revolution. Maybe the airlines should let security guys start hiring…Kyla could sure use a new wardrobe, poor thing.


Nobody’s Perfect; Southwest Airlines could have come up with a better excuse than “We are a family airlines.”

Nobody Knows; Why isn’t she working for the Hooters Airline? Or was that the point?

Nobody Cares: I would not doubt if Kyla is a member of the Mile-High Club and was just covering up for some Joe. Which brings the question: Do they have Mile-High Club prostitutes? Any guy want to fess up?