Platforms of an American Progressive Beauty

Nobody’s Opinion; Picture this: You are watching an episode from the old Star Trek series and Sulu walks up to the Captain’s Chair to address the “Captain.”

“Ciptin--the Ent-terpres is now approaching ‘arth. Should I prepar’ the ship to land in de United States?”

“The United States? Where’s that?” says a very beautiful but very clueless Miss Teen South Carolina, (2007) who is sitting in the Captain’s Chair. “Oh yeah, uh, we do have a map of that somewhere, don’t we Solo? Well, if we can’t find it, then let’s just land in India. (Long pause) Wait…now I remember! That’s my platform! Americans need to donate their time to save the world!”

I was thinking of this imaginary scenario after watching an old Star Trek movie this morning. You know, the ones with Captain James T. Kirk…a leader who boldly explored the universe and ruled his ship with optimism, enthusiasm, humor, courage, and imagination, mixed with loads of good old common sense?

Remember those kinds of leaders? (I know, I can only think of one too.)

Well, I’m here to actually stick up for Miss Teen Georgia America, who was all over the TV and internet sites faster than warp speed last week when she made her blunders. I got to thinking, as everyone else was…just what in the heck is she saying?

Then it dawned on me after watching the Miss America Pageant on CMT. (Country Music Television) She was searching for her “platform.”

Instead of worrying about walking in her platform shoes, she needed to spit out some kind of mantra about serving mankind. And it had to be the right mantra. When she finally remembered--- it was too late.

Serving people other than yourself is a subject, I might add, that’s usually not on the minds of most sixteen-year-olds, no matter how many times they hear this repeated by their teachers. That’s one of the reasons the state wants to get the kids at a younger age.

Hillary would prefer indoctrinating them before birth, and have them come out offering spittle to babies in Africa.

After researching online almost all of the contestant’s video statements from the 2007 American Beauty Pageant, one thing became clear: The liberals have discovered a new word to go along with their other preferred word of progressive…”platform.”

Yes, the new American progressive platform is global community service, and the old American Beauty Pageant of old, has been revised to be the new training ground for finding young, pretty, and intelligent girls, with high ambitions, to be used as fund- raisers for all the various causes that our new global leaders can think of.

American Beauty contestants, in the name of political necessity for this New World Order that doesn’t exist, not only must have brains, beauty, and talent---but she must above all other things, have a platform (probably picked from an already altruistic lists if she can’t come up with anything) like saving the world from pollution, getting everyone to pump ethanol, or promote character education---whatever that is.

Actually, it’s something our Congress right now is in dire need of.

Among the contestants platforms were: future global citizenship, rock the voters, cure diabetes, feed the hungry, cure mental illness, promote feminism, and help rape victims.

World peace is not important anymore, not one contestant mentioned it.

The American Beauty Pageant used to be one of America’s most fun TV shows until Gloria Steinem and her bunch decided it was demeaning to judge women on looks alone. My god, women were being ogled in bathing suits!

Now, these same feminists say nothing about all the young teenage girls walking around with short skirts above their navels, dental floss underwear, or nude beaches.

By the time they were through, the Pageant was so un-cool you didn’t dare admit how much you missed saying things like: “It was rigged! Look at her nose! Who did she sleep with? ”

Soon we will be getting sick of hearing that serving people is the highest and most noble thing you as a human being can ever do in your life. Forget raising good kids.

Don’t get me wrong, helping those in need is a noble cause, but…it’s a cause that’s should be an individual’s choice…not some Presidential dictator’s order for each American citizen, beautiful or not. And to that I’d say; “Beam me up Scottie, my platforms are falling. The US is no longer on the map.”

Nobody's Perfect: After looking through the whole lineup of Miss America's of 2007, I must admit, they all looked perfect to me. Although, for my taste, there was an over abundance of tap dancers and opera singers, and of course, the baton twirlers. Some things never change.

Nobody Knows: One girl said that she had to go through 23 contests just to get to the Miss America finals. Since they now no longer get much in scholarships, its amazing that so many of these girls put so much of their money, time and effort into getting into it.

Nobody Cares; I predict that Miss America Contest is going to become a major launching pad for the top of the countries educated women to get into positions of political power, going on to serve as ambassadors, governors...and Bill Clinton party favors. Oprah will be jealous.