Nobody Talks Dirty Anymore

You know, there is a prodigious amount of information being thrust at us minute by minute, so much in fact, that you’d almost have to be “HAL” in 2001, to process it all in your lifetime. Sometimes, there is so much to remember, our brains just go on “snooze” control and most of it, unless it causes us extreme emotional pain, just goes in one eyeball and out the other.

So MS Nobody here is in a much needed reorganization of brain crap. For awhile I’m going to just throw out on cyperpaper various “thoughts and opinions” about what gets thrown into my path that just seems interesting.

Okay? Okay.

So here in no order whatsoever under the January sun. (Which is NOT doing too well in Detroit I hear today where my very best mentor and great talent, Doug Powers, is suffering with - 33 degrees of sheer bone-chilling. global-warming, Al Gore viciousness, cold….are my nobody’s dirty brain opinions:

(1) The big news today is that John Edwards has finally dropped out of the democratic “race” for President. He will find some devastated back yard in New Orleans to make this announcement. Hillary beat Obama to the TV, with a close up of her face going on TV basically saying, well, "Now all John’s white’s voters can come to me, because John and I are both infected with Universal Health Care," which is why I’ve always thought that he was going to be her Vice President anyway. Obama’s statement, will be esoteric and nebulous, and on the theme of “Edwards was a champion for the people” stuff. So, when John and Hillary finally hook up, they will expect all white voters to go for them, and Obama will get all the black votes, once again proving that the Democratic Party will always divide and conquer.

(2) And speaking of the Democratic Party…before she made her exploding moment of naming Barack Obama as the reincarnation of her dad, Caroline Kennedy was on the cover this month of AARP---the magazine that is probably in more households and doctor’s offices in the nation. Coincidence? I think NOT!

(3) And speaking of coincidences---if you have suspicions that your government might just be trying to hurry your demise—THINK AGAIN! You might be right. These new “fluorescents” bulbs that everyone will be forced upon to use---are actually dangerous weapons of mass destruction. If you just happen to drop one, it is advised that you open a window for 15 minutes, go get yourself a mask, some gloves, damp paper towers, and duck tape….only to run back to find your dog licking up the mercury and dying of poison. Some states already prohibit you from throwing your broken bulb in the trash. The only way Comrades, we are to save ourselves from this insidious plot to poison us, (Because GE wants to increase her CEO’s salaries) is to buy them up in bundles and go and break them on the Capitol Steps! Sounds like fun...huh? After all, if they are so harmless it shouldn’t be a problem, right?

(4) The FDA has outlawed bio-identical hormones. They have also taken ephedrine off the market due to the “meth” scare they say in Missouri. Hold it...they have banned it in the whole country. Actually, I’m with Kevin Trudeau, the author of “Natural Cures,” who writes in his book how the FDA is working with the American Medical Association to stop any product that can make you healthy or live longer. Both bio-identical hormones and ephedrine are beneficial to many people. If it can’t be patented, then it’s a danger to the huge multinational companies who need diseases to remain profitable. Some of them feel we really should move on to the bigger light bulb in the sky. Like the holocaust, you may not want to believe it, but it is happening. Not long from now, if you want vitamin C to help you get over that cold, you will need a prescription, or if not, you will pay more for it.

(5) Which brings me to the thought--- did you know, that anything that occurs naturally in nature is not patentable by the patent office? And yet, all these scientists are rushing out and patenting genes?

(6) Orginal father of the Year award goes to... If you have a daughter, and you want her to have real confidence in herself, the best thing you can do to build up her confidence is help her get licensed to drive an 18-wheeler. That’s what Professor Peter Michor, a mathamatican (one of the world's foremost practitioners of differential geometry) did for his daughter Franziska. She is so confident from her truck driving experince that she earned a Ph.D. in evolutionary biology from Harvard at 22. And she VERY confident that she alone is studying the mathimatical meanings of cancer, and how to beat it. Remember that when your daughter finally gets her license. (Ha!)

(7) And speaking of 22…go see the movie 23 with Jim Carry. It’s enough to make you freak out if you happen, like I do, to see the same number everywhere. (I see 22 and 11, if I see 23, I'll call you. )

(8) And last but certainly not least, Mia Farrow has announced her idea of perfect happiness was NOT a new husband, but “A world community governed with responsibility compassion, and respect.”

Well Mia, that world will be coming to “save” your happiness soon, if Obama becomes President…or Hillary…or John McCain…or Bill Clinton…or shall I send over Al?

So...what? Woody Allen did not fill this agenda?