Nobody Redesigns Beer Dispensers

Nobody Cares: I'm forever fascinated by the different designs that man invents to sell products...

For Instance: Here a company named Micromatic has made a beer dispenser with LCD screens, evidently made for the men who are too drunk to find the football game and the TV at the same time.

Okay, it's so they don't MISS the play, when they go to get their beer refilled, but really.

You can have your pick of six faucets or four, and brass or steel, and at the decent price of under four thousand dollars! Not bad...if you have the money, or even if you don't, our government will be proud if you go ahead and buy it.

Now-- don't mind me...I hate the taste of beer. I still think the masses of (mostly men) that down gallons of it at one sitting, like sailors who have been walking in Death Valley for days without drinking water, are missing a much needed discerning taste bud, or have some kind of genetic defeat left over from, probably German ancestry...because it does taste, somewhat like urine to me...(not that I'VE ever tasted urine you understand...it's all in my imagination) which means that the scientists that are now making urine into water might consider just making urine into beer instead, and sending up only astronauts with German ancestry...I'm just saying.

Anyway..there's another problem here. Why would anyone need six faucets as opposed to four?

If you have three guys filling up on each side of this screen, and they are BIG guys, they will probably no doubt block the view of that tiny LCD screen and the possibility of blocking an important play becomes very likely.

So, therefore, if I were designing this thing, I'd put just ONE faucet on each side, but that's me.

Anyone who loves the taste of beer is welcome to explain to this nobody, the REASON for this product..other than it's something a rich person would buy just to say he had one.

Go ahead, I'm all ears.

And while you're at it, tell me how you came to love the taste of the stuff..I'd really like to know. It's one of life's major mysteries.

Then again...I might buy it if I could put it by my bathtub and fill it with fruit punch.

Mmmmmm...I can see MY new design already...All I would need is one faucet, candles, and some bubbles....