Baptism or Water-boarding...What's the Difference?

Baptism OR Water-boarding…What’s the Difference?

Nobody Knows:

Water boarding: Push someone under the water and hold him there.
Baptism: Push someone under the water and hold him there.

What’s the difference? One is done as “torture.” One is done for “benefit.” But the actual physiological “damage” or stimulation to the brain…if measured…what does that tell us? What happens scientifically to that ball of funny-looking blubber in our heads after the fact?

Nobody wants to know, but it does have me wondering.

One of the reasons that Scott Brown won the hearts of Americans in his race for Ted Kennedy’s seat in Massachusetts was his stance on water-boarding: he supported it. It’s no secret that these guys want to kill us all…so what’s a little “nudge” under the water? Many sane Americans agree.

It’s not like any of them suffer permanent damage from water getting into the brain---like some wacky science fiction movie. I can speak from experience when I say that ear wax alone makes a pretty good plug. As for the lungs…they are very careful.

But ‘President’ Obama ran on the notion that this terrible practice, done to elicit important information, was so barbaric of a practice, that he wanted it outlawed forever.

Nevertheless…I had a crazy thought: Can water-boarding be compared to baptism? Could we be doing the “tortured” soul that we water-board an actual favor, according to the latest psychiatric research?

There is now new evidence that not only could water-boarding save lives, as many CIA agents along with Dick Cheney have insisted, but it could mean a whole new life for the person who goes through it and comes out alive on the other side!

Think I’m crazy?

Not according to Dr. Frank Lawlis. In his book, Retraining the Brain, he sites that over the years, psychiatrists have used lots of different methods to help mental sufferings, and dunking a person under water has been successfully used throughout history as a very effective maneuver, in order to…heal.

They don’t know why it works, but it does.

He notes that in Egypt and Ireland a method called “purposeful ritual” was a sure help to many a suffering mind. Unlike the damage of the frontal lobes that comes with electric shock treatments, the person who underwent the “drowning” treatment would be placed underwater and come up…transformed---

In a better way. (He doesn’t suggest we do this, mind you, but makes the point.)

Here’s how it works: “In reaction to possible drowning, the brain shunts blood into different parts of the brain, based on a priority system of immediate needs. The first area is the need for survival. This is where the person does a life review. Once the brain believes that death is inevitable, it reserves the remaining energy for relaxing and preparing for a transition---some see angels.”

(Or Elvis, but that’s another blog.)

“In the last phrase you get a message that since you probably are not going to survive; you start to think of just what you might have done to benefit the world and those you love. If you are then brought back to this reality and escape death, this last phase appears to have a lasting effect.”

Therefore, if you were just about to blow up a million people in the name of Allah, you might come to see that this really doesn’t benefit humanity at all, let alone your own family, and you would give up the plans of your cousin bin Laden, and tell what you know.

Dr. Lawlis also notes that many who come out of this “drowning “dramatically reinvent their lives as missionaries or messengers of spiritual truths.”

So, this nobody wonders… just how LONG did John the Baptist hold Jesus underwater when he was baptized? Long enough for him to kick in his, “I want to really save the world!” neurons and come out the Messiah?”

If so, thank God for John the Baptist. He did humanity a wonderful favor. He kicked -started a great movement that saved much of the world, and continues to this day.

And if holding a person underwater can deliver such a miraculous tendency for that person to want to come back to reality and devote their lives to helping humanity…I say we put in a clause in the Constitution that all members of Congress have to be baptized…

And if they refuse then we water-board them on their first pork-barrel project.

We might not get any messiahs, but maybe they would stop acting as if their heads are filled with… dish-water soapy greedy sap.

The 111st Congress…Stop the Torture! Water-board or Baptize?

It’s all the same to me.