Sunday, February 07, 2010

Nobody Thanks John Quincy Adams for the Superbowl Game in Miami


Nobody Flashes: It's only going to be in the sixties in Miami today for the grand football Superbowl Event, according to the "weather" people. So the tourists will be comfortable, but the natives will be gaping with open horror at all the people wearing SHORTS and TEE-SHIRTS!
Oh-my-God!
My best and only girlfriend, Janet (from grade school) told me yesterday, that the weather in Naples recently, (My home town which is right across the state from Miami) was so cold that the temperature never got over 40 degrees for a WHOLE WEEK, and she said everyone was complaining about their cold feet!
Everybody was wearing big furry slippers! Not something you see often in South Florida.
I've been thinking about this....and it can only be due to global warming. The ground in Southern Florida is cooling, due to humans exhaling too much. As you can see from this poster, the carbon dioxide is settling right over the Southern tip of Florida.
We really must practice holding in our breathe more..just not today. But we can't do that all the time. We should have certain holidays where everyone screams a lot..and gets to really stop trying to control their exhaling. Sporting Events should be "breathe free" zones.
I mean, just because we are bigger than the Chinese and have more hot air, does not mean we can't have a LITTLE fun...right?
Anyway, the tan less "natives" will be in sweaters and complaining merrily. (REAL natives stay out of the sun...just so you know) The cheerleaders on the other hand will be freezing their tootsies off, and bearing up the cold courageously, bless their...hearts.
And after the game...I will predict a few lost souls will end up in the ocean, not knowing how they got there. If we are really lucky, some of them will be politicians.
Meanwhile, in Washington D.C., many a conspiracy scholar will be cursing due to the fact that they think Mr. Obama got SO mad when he told people not to gamble on the Superbowl, or go to Vegas....and because of the great backlash he got from the press, he just ordered a complete "weather" attack on the area, and now they won't be able to get out of D.C. to go to Vegas, or Miami...OR even watch the game because they have no power!
Putin is not the ONLY guy who can seed Moscow!
As for the game, I can't predict a thing because I have no clue. I have boycotted football ever since my five-year-old brother got to go to the Superbowl in Miami one year with our grandfather...and I didn't...BECAUSE I was...a mere girl!
He came home with some pretty nice balloons....and the memory of balloons was so enticing that he took a Playboy Bunny to live with him there while he went to college at the University of Miami.
Yes, Miami...Have a great time, and show us how patriotic you are!
Spend it all...win or lose! Pop some balloons! And put those cozy slippers on!
This nobody doesn't care who wins....I miss Florida, so seeing the palm trees is enough for me.
Oh, and by the way, you can thank John Quincy Adams for my favorite state, which he made SURE, as Secretary of State to Monroe, that we GOT from Spain.
Without that move, the game would not be going on today.
(Nobody says this to get a "response" out of amforatas, who is not particularly fond of any Adams...except for me of course!)

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

I was having a snooze when I heard my name. Yes, I am terribly fond of you Joyanna so JQ gets a free pass occasionally. We all make mistakes but few last so long. Yet even dark clouds have a Joyous lining.

We don't do 'Super Bowls' here but we do have a splendid Bowls team. We are top of the International leagues much of the time, despite the opportunity for beaches and the sun shining 25 hours a day.

And we have 'Grand Finals' for this and that. AFL, for example. Now, you mention the cheerleaders, which invokes imagery of cute bums peeking out from little flip skirts atop long bare legs akimbo. But in AFL it is the players in tiny shorts that grab the attention of the ladies (!) in the stands. There are things that stand out. !! We don't have quite the razzmatazz cheerleading tradition that you have but even I might watch pretty girls' nether parts rather than go to watch chaps kick a ball around with their tackles on show.

12:31 AM  
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5:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was an essay written by a cheerleader.

3:27 AM  
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2:16 PM  

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