Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Falling for Lady Gaga and General Petraeus

Nobody Cares:
Holy Ballistic Presidential Missile.
We have a new old general that just about everyone under the sun and this side of the Mississippi is just ticked pinko green about him taking over in Afghanistan.
Everyone today said that he was the man who saved Iraq. Tell Iraq saved? That's news to me. Like Nashville being completely flooded out, you don't hear about that OR Iraq anymore.
We're on a "need to know" basis.
Just look at all those ribbons. This man has degrees and honors from every international school on this planet, and I'm sure....somewhere in there is a star from The Star Fleet Federation.
If he was in charge of Iraq and can take credit for building the most beautiful and biggest US embassy in the world, complete with a swimming pool that is even the envy of the Prince of Dubai...then THAT'S the man we want! We need a real international nation builder in Afghanistan because...boys, we are there to stay! Only by building the whole nation of Afghanistan can we keep al-Qaida from coming over here and blowing us up!
Wow. I feel safe already.
Our grandchildren will be building hospitals there someday, complete with free medical care courtesy of the New US World Citizen. So, he's our man.
Okay, you must know by now, I have a gift for comparing two things not even related to each other. I can find a common denominator between a fork and a pickup truck. (What? You thought only Obama could have a gift?)
For instance, I see the general has something in common with with the lady on the floor.
Lady Gaga it seems, cannot walk in her big high-heeled fashion boots through an airport. She fell, but she didn't faint.
Neither one of them has a good sense of balance.
Just last week, when the General fainted dead away, his head fell on the table in front of him at a Senate drilling. When he was awakened from his little coma, he blatantly said, and in a rather snotty tone, that he didn't faint by anything that John McCain had said.
(A general that faints is now in command? Oh, that's has to look very promising to al-Qaida.)
So, this general really IS superior to General Stanley McChrystal. He said a very nasty thing to a Senator, ...a "civilian" that is his boss, and he did not get fired.
You see, General Petraeus had not broken the chain of command. He knows his place...and now, he can leave Tampa, where it is known that a tsunami might soon hit, and go to Afghanistan, and General Stanley McChrystal can come back here and take care of my neighbors for me.
He's welcome to my neighborhood any day.
As for Lady GaGa...the general should send her over to entertain the troops. It would be an excellent start to build up troop moral. In fact, get some of Obama's favorite entertainers to go along. Stevie Wonder, Paul McCartney, Beyonce' kno...Paul McCartney....
The President today, showed the world he is in control, if of nothing else...his podium. That is one man that is NOT going to faint.
(Nobody means any disrespect to General Petraeus...I'm sure he's a patriot...I'm just still angry that this President says he is doing this for National Security? Give me a break.)
Or don't.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas wonders...:

if some cross-training might benefit both Lady G and General P. She has a 'certain way' about her that could be useful, especially when it comes to untoward behaviour ad the response of authority.

'Twas the lady Gaga in her combat uniform of bra and knickers that went headlong into - with complete disregard for her safety - a foot ball team locker room, where she assaulted her own breasts with manipulative caresses and declared that the chaps all made her 'feel' so womanly. Wink, wink.

While her manager did manage to extracate her and take her into the adjacent car-park, where she again fell over, not an eyebrow was raised, no reporters wrote so as to disarm the Nation and no President had apoplexy.

I wonder if General Patreus could try walking into the American National Women's Tiddliwink Team locker room and foldle his balls. He just might get another medal.

9:08 PM  
Blogger Joyanna Adams said...

Now, THAT's why I love a man's opinion! Spoken like a true warrior of eyecandy and expertness on the mine field of high-heel shoes!

9:04 AM  

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