Thursday, September 16, 2010

Micelle Obama & Carla Bruni: Let's Talk!

Nobody Reports True or False Impression of Two First Ladies:

Carla: You're 'air louks so lovlee, Meeecheelle. Do yu du et yourself?

My god...that is the ugliest dress I have ever seen! It looks like something out of a cheap American Wal-mart store. It must really bother her that she is not the femme fatale that I am...She has the style and grace of a camel.

Michelle: No, I have two hairdressers with me all the time. One is actually from here.

Wow, is she stupid. She doesn't know I have a wig on...and look at her dress...I wouldn't be caught dead in that ugly ass thing.. It makes her look all washed out...okay..she has no idea who she is dealing with. Pretty ugly, she is no match for me. I don't know why they think she is pretty, she looks pretty plain to me.

Carla: Sooo, how do yu like being the First Ladi?

God...look at the size of her....she really is an Amazon. Such Big TEETH!

Michelle: Well frankly, I hate it. And I really hate living in the White House. I want to travel more, and see all the places that Barack and I have never gotten to see, but somehow he gets sidetracked by some damn thing or another and so, I'm just going to have to go alone. Washington D.C. is just lame. There's no shops, no real theaters, no clubs. It's so boring ,we have been just having parties in the house, but the place is so damn small...and there are staff everywhere. And of course, I can't say anything about anything...and the kids can't go anywhere. We really need to get out more...

And right after I finish standing next to this idiotic white woman who thinks she is better than me, I'm going shopping. I can't believe they made me wear this ridiculous dress.

Carla: Are yu planning on coming to the dinner toonight?

Oh my god...what if they say no? My husband will be furious. He will spend all night on the phone with Bush. I can't believe he made me wear this horrible dress.

Michelle: Hell no...the last thing I want to do in France is hang out with your boring white ass....

Well, Obama and I have a date you know...This is our first time in Paris.

Are you kidding? We have a big party planned back at the hotel. Should be over five hundred people. Oprah is going to love my new dress.

Carla: Well, you must admit...the boys look pretty silly together, don't they?

I can't believe that President Obama insulted my husband by asking me what it was like to be married to a was as if he was making a pass at me right in front of him! And making it out that he was manners at disgraceful.

Michelle: Yuuueeep.

Carla: Well, wee are so glad to hav yu here.

She thinks I don't know what an arrogant woman she is. Wait till I tell the world in my book what she said about how she hates being first lady. She will regret snubbing us. Thank GOD I only have to do this once a year! I'm so glad I don't have to spend the night entertaining them...they dogs.

Michelle: They do not pay me enough. I'm going back to the hotel. Screw the traffic.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

When Carla first showed up in Britain on the Frog Pres's arm, the newspapers published the nude photos of her.

She looked damned good too !

When do we get to see Michelle au naturele?

3:32 AM  
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