Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Eagle Fashion Talk



Nobody Flashes: Eagle Talk...
Joe Eagle: Hey, have you SEEN any of those Muslim Hawks around here lately? I couldn't believe it---here in America, they are moving in all over the place. And... have you seen what those Muslim Hawks are being made to wear? I mean, they can't even see where they're flying! What's worse, is they get into this country and they don't want to take those ridiculous head hats off! I don't like it. Birds are not meant to wear hats man...it ain't natural. I'm just saying.
If someone tried to put one of them things on me...I'd rather be sent to a zoo than have to wear one of those contraptions. Them birds are treated like frog turds. They don't even KNOW that they are slaves do they? How humiliating. And another thing, they hate it here. Why don't they just fly away? Bunch of morons.
Bob Eagle: Will their masters won't let them take them off. It's a status symbol you know. Some of those head bird hats go for around $52,000. I saw one of those Muslims hawks just the other day--- wouldn't even talk to me. Thinks he is more special than me because he has that big fancy bird hat on his head. One big Muslim King even put rubies and emeralds, on his poor bird. His monkey hat cost around $2 million. Of course, he can't fly with the thing on. They do it on purpose you know..put those heavy helmets on...so they won't fly away. They keep them as pets.
GOD...my neck hurts just thinking of having to keep my neck up with that crap on. I don't know about you, but I don't think any of them Muslims are playing with a full peck.
Joe Eagle: Hey...Tony ..get that guy to throw some fish over hear...will ya? My feet are getting cold.
Tony Eagle: Yeah...HEY YOU!...(guy throws him a big fish) Thanks.
Joe Eagle: And another thing--- I hate begging like this. I never thought in my lifetime things would get so bad. The river was so cold last year, you couldn't even get to the water...I mean, how are we suppose to keep healthy? All they keep talking about is global warming. Well, gee...it's not warm here. Even the fish are frozen. I'm ready for some really good catfish...man...I'm really tired of all that terrible bread people keep throwing us, I'm starting to get fat. I mean it man, it ain't funny.
Tony Eagle: Hey Joe, come on, you were always fat!
Bob Eagle: Well, I don't know about you, but I'm glad that we have really good freedom loving men in this country. Men that believe in freedom. If these guys didn't come out and feed us, we might die from the heat!
(Eagles laugh)
Joe Eagle: Yeah, at least we got men that respect us. Makes you feel a little sorry for those guys. It's not their fault they have a bunch of dessert mucking idiots as masters. Still...if they think they are going to make us wear those stupid hats, they don't know the power of the American Eagle do they boys?
Bob Eagle: No Joe...you tell em.
Joe Eagle: Nope, that bird ain't no match for me. Still, Halloween is coming. I might just steal me one of those hats and surprise my wife.
Bob Eagle: Nothing will surprise your wife Joe. When was the last time you brought her a feather with a diamond on it?
Joe Eagle: When was the last time you laid an egg Bob? Hey...throw Me another one...this ain't welfare...we hold you guys together, remember that!
Nobody Notes: This picture was taken last year very close to my house, on the banks of the Missouri River near Alton, Il. Some really good men saw that the river was frozen, and every day, took the eagles buckets of fresh fish, that they paid for out of their own pockets. God bless em.
And...really, these eagles don't need millions dollars headdresses...God gave them the best one on the planet.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

Well, this is a nice confluence of Cultural wossnames. The Muslims like hawks and so do we.

The English have had hawks with hats for hages. (hehehe).(maybe I should 'ave said, 'awks wiv 'ats)

Dogs with wings, is what they are sometimes called. Retrievers. But of course, being English, the hawkers don't go in for fancy hats but rather stay with the traditional leather thingo. Matches the gloves, you see.

But do Americans do hawking? I am not sure. The Bald Eagles have been asking for Government supplied Stetsons for a hundred years without much joy. What they (Americans) do do though, is dress their dogs. In jewelry. Diamond studded gog collars are a match for a bejewelled hat on a hawk.

I know. Its a long bow to draw. But I am trying to be the intercultural, ecumenical peacemaker.

6:27 AM  
Blogger Joyanna Adams said...

SOOOOOO! It was the British KINGS nad lords that gave that habit to the Saudi's...mmmmm...

No, we do not dress up our birds, but are are right about the dogs.

After all the sex and abortions of the sixites, they frustrated baby boomers who have no grandchildren, have to spend their money on somthing.


Ecumenical? Great word. You are that.

8:21 PM  

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