Monday, October 18, 2010

Nobody's Perfect: France's New Reign of Terror: President Bardot?





Nobody's Perfect: This week, the award of imperfection goes to that lovable nation where no man, woman, or child has EVER had problem with self esteem...France.
Ah...the French---They are at it again. They are in the streets, burning up cars, and throwing rocks and trash at the police. Millions of them are marching and demanding that they be allowed to retire at 60 so that they can watch old Jerry Lewis movies, and drink wine, and basically do what they have ALWAYS done in history.
Not much.
When I think of France, I think of their love of perfume, their skinny models, long walks along the Seine, the Eiffel Tower, and the smell of Muslim's burning cars in the morning.
Oh, and how they HATE us Americans. We eat hot dogs.
It's a historical fact that the French had to be saved in both world wars. They really don't like to fight outside their own country. But give them a good reason INSIDE their own country, and the genetics proclivities to want to trash and burn and shout various French slogans of revelution just bubble up like Champaign corks in the old Louis XIV bottle.
How DARE you make us work!
They are so angry at the thought of working, that the whole country has shut down in protest.
Gas has been halted, the planes are not flying, the trains are not working, the trucks are not trunking, and so, everyone is basically, no doubt..drunk.
They are clamoring for a savior. And soon, they might get one in a woman who is planning to run for election in 2012 in order to save the country that she loves...a woman that eats no meat.
A woman who says Sarah Palin is a "disgrace to women" because she doesn't care about the polar bears.
A woman who once drove every man on the planet crazy with desire.
A woman, who if elected to become the next President of France, will surely bring back the guillotine, and start hacking off heads of anyone who hurts an animal, a polar bear, or Al Gore.
Bridgett Bardot.
There is garbage in the streets tonight in Paris. Rubber bullets are flying---gas masks are common, and the Eiffel Tower is being guarded by men with big guns.
And if the Eiffel Tower is attacked, you can be sure that Bardot just might get elected...and the Muslims, who have a nasty habit of slaughtering baby lambs, might be the first on the list in Bridgett's Reign of Terror.
Despite what everyone thinks about the old gal, she might be the best thing to happen to France. She would certainly make sex holidays common, and free state run prostitution paid for all union members who continue to work.
She will save every animal in France from execution. The French eat a lot of fish, so it probably won't matter.
All Muslims, will be exported...giving more money to the state, and the people can go back to just doing what they like to do.
Nothing.
Yes, France is not perfect. They really messed up their first revolution. The second one will probably end up the same way, and we will continue to make fun of them, regardless.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

As we folk get older, our youthful beauty tends to fade. I speak for myself as well as for the majority. Observation, you know.

Brigette certainly was fresh once but is a tad wrinkled now.

Wisdom is supposed to be the replacement of lost beauty but it comes to few; the rest simply do without.

Has BB gained wisdom in her years? I don't think so. But heck, she can't be much worse that the current wierd bunch of froggies.

I hope she keeps her clothes on.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Joyanna Adams said...

Yes, I think that MS Bardot got just a little bit too many tans on those Riveria Beaches...

But, she is THEIR claim to all things French, and right now, it seems the Germans, and the French are saying..."We want to STAY German and French, damn it!"

I hope she keeps her clothes on too!

5:22 PM  

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